This week, I presented at a conference. I also presented at a conference last month. Next month, I present twice at the same conference. In the fall, I'm giving a webinar for a national library organization. I've got half a dozen more proposals out for consideration and I legitimately think most of them will be approved.

Every time one of my proposals is accepted, I am surprised. There's a heavy dose of imposter syndrome going on because who am I to be chosen to talk about these things? Who am I to say that I can teach these things? Who am I compared to the others in attendance? I have a hard time seeing myself as more knowledgeable, skilled, or talented. In fact, I know I am woefully average.

And - yet - my proposals are still selected.

I think my shock comes partly from societal norms that tell women that they're not good enough. I think many (myself included) have a fear of rejection. If your proposal is not accepted, it must mean you are not as good as you think. I also think it comes from the lack of transparency when it comes to demonstrating expertise. At least in librarianship, there's no one teaching you "this is how you present at conferences." You don't learn a process. It's a leap of faith to jump into it.

I took that leap of faith because, one year, I just decided to say "Screw it! Let's try." It was one of the best decisions I ever made. 

What are you going to leap of faith into?

Leave a comment

I really should have read a recap of the series before jumping into A Court of Silver Flames. I’m about 100 pages in and pivotal plot points are coming back to me in fits and spurts. I don’t know why, but I’m surprised that the author shifted to focus on two other characters. The choice makes sense, but it has me wondering where everything is headed. That said, Maas has never led me astray. I’ve enjoyed all her books.

• You probably don't need to replace these two kitchen appliances. [Apartment Therapy]

• I need to clean my pillows... [Lifehacker]

• The taste of the US in regional hot dogs. [The Takeout]

• An author talks about her revising process. [The Atlantic - may be paywalled]

• Build a better sandwich. [EATER]

• If you're making a better sandwich, you might as well learn the best way to pour a beer. [The Takeout]

• What happens to half used hotel soap. [The Hustle]

• Pair your boring tasks with somethings stimulating to get through dull work. [HBR - may be paywalled]

• Is it a lake or a sea? [Atlas Obscura]

• I may need to get my hands on this comic book. [Planet Money]

• The beginning of a critical reading of Pride and Prejudice. [Live from Pemberley]

• How the ethnic food aisle came to be. [99% Invisible]

• The impact online currency has on the physical environment. [Short Wave]

• The scholarly story of Timbuktu. [Atlas Obscura]

• Shanghai's lockdown created its own economy. [The Indicator]

• I used to own The Mummy on DVD. I watched it all the time. It's a romp full of old Hollywood monster movie tropes. Then it dropped off my radar. I put it on this week and was wonderfully transported back to the joy of watching it for the first time. The CGI is a disaster according to modern standards, but it still works because the movie is so campy. This is, by default, a preferred movie of librarians simply for this Rachel Weisz gif. [Netflix]

• For some reason, I am still drawn to things that have Narcos vibes. This week, that led us to watch Sicario. This movie has a stacked cast but it's hard to see how the lead character, played wonderfully by Emily Blunt, had any role aside from being a plot device. It's a wonderfully shot and acted film, but we left with questions about the narrative. [Amazon Prime]

• The construction of ancient Roman roads. [Ancient Technology] 

• We had an almost used container of quinoa hanging out in our cabinets for longer than I care to remember. I decided to use it up in this week's meal prep by making spinach, chickpea, and quinoa salad. I am a sucker for anything with a vinaigrette and feta. [Budget Bytes]

• I love cabbage but it's not a favorite of the rest of the family. Occasionally, I try to slip it in to meals. We tried a new to us recipe: slow cooker cabbage and sausage. I figured the potatoes would make it okay for everyone else. It was more of a soup than I thought it would be, but it was also tasty. Our kiddo managed to eat most of the sausage by herself. [Budget Bytes]

I’ve been on a couple hiring committees. More often than not, I am so concerned about making sure we are requesting the right skills that I don’t consider the gendered language of the posting. Gender Decoder is a tool that can pull out the gender bias that may exist in your job description.

It’s finals week at my University. I go on a positive social media posting binge to help our students get through the week. It’s one of my favorite things about this job. You can do it!