The Cut - Being a 'Mom' Isn’t What It Used to Be

At the beginning of the pandemic, I used to wake up frequently with an elevated heart rate, one eye barely open, already feeling like I’d lived an entire day, percolating with anxiety and dread before I’d even put a foot on the floor. There were an infinite number of moments when I was nursing a newborn with one arm, cradling a toddler with the other, and tapping out an email with whichever hand could best reach my laptop without disturbing this precarious scene.

In those days, I was utterly consumed by the act of mothering, engulfed in the relentless flames of parenthood in a way I had never anticipated. I also assumed I was totally alone in this experience. Only when we started admitting to each other out loud — on social media, in trend pieces, in our group chats — that parents, and moms in particular, were not okay did it become clear how ruptured everything had become for all of us. But it also felt like something important and necessary was being shattered around the idea of what a “mom” should be and how much she should carry.

First off, seriously, stop eating beef. Moving on now. Who needs a diary when you can voice all your innermost thoughts on a scoreboard? The White House has a new press secretary: Karine Jean-Pierre, the first openly gay and first Black woman to hold the position. Meanwhile, Democrats are going to force a vote on Roe v. Wade next week, but don’t hold your breath for actual results. How Hot Ones became the talk show for the 21st century. A woman bought a bust from Goodwill for $35 and named it after a character on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Turns out it’s an ancient Roman relic. Have you heard of nurdles? This kind of conduct might fly on Nantucket, but on Martha’s Vineyard they’d never. Wishing everyone a good weekend, but most especially Christopher Meloni. And just … what’s going on?

Sign up to get Brooding, a new biweekly newsletter delivering deep thoughts on modern family life.