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Good afternoon, Sidekickers. Job seekers are swiping right on companies, only to ghost them before their start date. Try it at your own risk: Just like in online dating, word gets around when you stand up your employer. Just look at West Elm Caleb.
In today’s edition:
- Meditation training
- Shelby Ivey Christie balances her 9–5 and 5–9
- Your boss in your business?
—Maliah West, Sabrina Sanchez
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Time-saving tools and products we’re really into rn.
Get your mind right after a long day’s work with this meditation trainer, because it takes a lot of zen vibes to keep thoughts of quitting at bay.
Shift brainstorming sessions from chaos to cohesion using MindNode. There’s a better way to jot down ideas than chicken scratch on sticky notes.
Reestablish boundaries with your weird, noisy, fish-microwaving coworkers to save your sanity.
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“For me, work-life balance was about leaving New York and having other things to look forward to outside work. And it also looked like changing my relationship with rest.”
Shelby Ivey Christie is a fashion and costume historian, and a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, with a passion for the ways in which Black History intersects with fashion. Alongside her full-time career, Christie is also currently working to complete her Master’s in Costume Studies at NYU, and she regularly shares sneak peeks into her wealth of fashion knowledge on Instagram and Twitter.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Kickoff: “I do my meditation video in the morning. I have ADHD, so it helps me focus and calm my mind…and then immediately after that has to come a shower and coffee. If I don’t have my coffee, I’m not the same person.”
The not-so average, average day: “I’m a brand activations manager for a luxury brand and I usually have calls starting at 7:30am to align with EU time, because a lot of luxury clients are based in Europe…[After work] I have calls with my [publicist] to go over speaking engagements and programming in my secondary role as a costume and fashion historian, or we have calls with my agents at CAA about a script we’re writing, a TV show we’re pitching.”
In her toolkit: “I’m a note-taker. I have a checklist for my checklist for my checklist. So I use the standard Apple Notes app…Pinterest is probably my second organization tool. I like Pinterest because I have ADHD, and social media can be overwhelming for me. Whereas Pinterest is like a social media platform where there are no constant updates or alerts…My emails go to my manager, but we collaborate to manage them.”
Setting goals: “I set very aggressive goals for myself, and I put a lot of demands on myself and my team. And that probably comes from working in a fashion environment [and] a luxury environment, where there’s just one or two Black people. Having to work at a higher level of excellence has forced me to function that way…In my personal life, it’s the same…Something I’ve been talking to my friends and family about is [buying] a house, probably within the next three years.”
Prioritizing relaxation: “If I’m very, very stressed out [and] really need to have a good rest, I’ll take a bath…And I love cooking; that has been my quarantine hobby. So I try to cook every night if I can…That's my me time in the evening after I shut down.”
Bringing on help: “Working full-time, it was a workload issue…I knew I needed help. And also just being a strategic person. Working on the business side of fashion, I know how to raise my hand, and I know what functions are my own, and what functions are not. PR is not my function. But also, it was important to me as a Black woman to have a barrier…you want to have a representative to mitigate those tough conversations. You don’t want to be the one arguing about fees and rates, and then you have to go show up to sit with that same team.”
Room for improvement: “Work-life balance is an ongoing process. We never really get it right…This year is probably the first time I had real work-life balance, because I left New York. In New York, we’re always going and going and going; we’re never really stopping to think about our goals or resting our minds to even process what we went through that day. I’ve also been doing better about shopping…my self-care used to be, because I killed myself this week and burnt myself to the brink, I’m gonna buy myself something. But now that I’m getting better with self-care, I’m like, ‘Okay, you had a healthy balanced week, so you don’t need to buy yourself something.’”—MW
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BET Hip Hop Awards/BET via Giphy
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Your punch list for when you punch out.
Read: Despite all its perks, working in big tech sure does seem like it has some major downsides. A recent WSJ story covers the toxic productivity, 85+ hour workweeks, and internal competition that employees at TikTok have allegedly been dealing with beneath the company’s seemingly perfect surface.
Listen: Kendrick Lamar just released a single, “The Heart Part 5,” from his first album since 2017. The video’s powerful lyrics are backed by some disturbingly good deepfake technology.
Drink: Here’s an idea for that almost-empty jar of jam in your cupboard: this jam-based gin and tonic recipe.
Increase Your Bandwidth: IT jobs are demanding, so the Brew made it easier for IT pros to get their industry news. Enter IT Brew, the twice-weekly newsletter that delivers the latest IT scoop straight to your inbox. Don’t miss it.
Short story time: We found the one short for every sport. With a classic athletic fit, 4-way stretch, and everywhere functionality, Vuori’s Kore Shorts are built to keep you feeling fresh all day. Take 20% off your first purchase here.*
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Robertodavid/Getty Images
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Burning questions of our time.
On reverse ageism in the workplace:
In my first job out of college, I requested vacation months in advance and would get repeatedly denied, while others were granted every request they made. When I asked my manager why, I was told it was because “everyone else has a family” (sorry, Mom and Dad, guess you aren’t family anymore), so they “had to prioritize their requests first.” This also happened with my schedule. I’d get the undesirable shifts because others “had families.” At the same company in a different role, I was told I didn’t have enough years of experience for a promotion, despite performing (according to my manager) above the level of the people who had more senior titles.—Tori
I’m a 19 year-old woman. I own a house. I’ve had a fairly high-ranking full-time job for almost 2 years now. I’ve always vibrated at a different wavelength than my generation. While others around me wanted to party, I wanted to take responsibility quickly, and I did. But it’s not easy being taken seriously at my age with the ambitions I have. If the best employer anyone could dream of (who’s no longer at my company) hadn’t taken a chance on me 2 years ago, I would not have gotten hired. His associates never would have hired me, they told me themselves in retrospect. And I’ve had to stand firm to get the promotions and compensation I knew I could handle and deserved. Ageism goes both ways; not being taken seriously is a dreadful feeling, both professionally and socially.—Karen
Deeply involved employers:
As more employers recognize the interconnectedness between people’s home and work lives, company benefits have begun to reflect and cater to employees’ more private needs. For example, some companies have started to offer menstrual leave, fertility benefits, mental health days, and abortion-related benefits. But should employers be so intimately involved in your health? How much involvement is too much? What benefit would you like to see normalized? Hit Reply and let us know in the Inbox.—SS
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Short story time: We found the one short for every sport. With a classic athletic fit, 4-way stretch, and everywhere functionality, Vuori’s Kore Shorts are built to keep you feeling fresh all day. Take 20% off your first purchase here.*
*This is sponsored advertising content.
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