Almost one year into his tenure, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy has introduced speed limits on the potentially reckless superhighway Jeff Bezos created.

A new report by the WSJ describes how Jassy is trying to rein in some of his predecessor’s overly ambitious expansion plans, at a time when Amazon is facing its most challenging financial period in years.

• As a result of higher costs for everything and slowing e-commerce sales, in Q1 the company posted its first quarterly loss since 2015 and its slowest revenue growth in about 20 years. Revenue for its online stores unit even fell by 3% that quarter.
• Plus, Amazon’s stock has fallen nearly 40% since Jassy started on the job last July, equivalent to a more than $600 billion wipeout in value. A few days after he started, the company’s stock hit a record high.

So what’s Jassy doing?

Like all of us, finding new clothes that fit our post-pandemic body.

1. First, he’s reconsidering the idea that Amazon needs as many warehouses as 7-Eleven locations. In response to too much capacity, Amazon is reportedly planning to sublet a minimum of 10 million square feet of warehouse space (which sounds like a lot, but it’s still only 5% of the footprint that the company added during Covid).
2. Jassy was also not impressed by Amazon’s push into brick and mortar. In March, he closed more than 50 of the company’s retail locations, nearly half of which were physical bookstores.
3. Finally, he’s trying to solve the problem of overstaffing at some warehouses. In less than two and a half years, Amazon hired roughly the same number of employees as the combined workforces of UPS and Costco—and following the Omicron wave, it found itself with too much labor (expensive!).

Big picture: Along with so many others that benefited from the pandemic, Amazon’s leadership team got duped into believing that certain Covid trends—a boom in online shopping, for one—would be written on the economy in Sharpie. Now that we know it’s more like chalk, Jassy and Co. need to figure out how to kickstart growth, responsibly.—NF

Vince McMahon steps back. The CEO, chairman, and figurehead of WWE is taking extended PTO while the board investigates him for potential misconduct. McMahon allegedly paid a secret $3 million settlement to a departing employee with whom he had a consensual affair, according to a WSJ report earlier this week. McMahon will still oversee WWE’s creative content while on leave, but his daughter, Stephanie McMahon, will effectively run the company.

SpaceX sacks employees who criticized Elon Musk. Just a few days after some SpaceX employees circulated a letter calling Musk’s public behavior a “distraction” and an “embarrassment,” the company reportedly fired at least five of the organizers. “We have too much critical work to accomplish and no need for this kind of overreaching activism,” SpaceX President and COO Gwynne Shotwell said.

The chip shortage strikes again. But not in the way you might think. As the Biden administration was brainstorming ways to help out Americans at the gas pump, it considered sending out rebate cards to Americans. Just one problem: There aren’t enough computer chips to make cards in the volume required, so the White House scrapped that plan a few months ago, according to The Washington Post. It’s apparently taking a second look now.

The FDA authorized two Covid-19 vaccines, Pfizer and Moderna, for kids under five yesterday—a year and a half after vaccines were approved for adults 16+.

Big picture: Although kids are less likely to have a severe case of Covid-19 than adults, it’s still “a top killer of children right now,” CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said. The agency also found that…

• More than 440 children four and younger have died from Covid-19, and the highest fatality rate is found among infants under one.
• More children have died from Covid-19 than did from hepatitis A, chickenpox, and rotavirus before their respective vaccines were rolled out.

But vaccine hesitancy could keep parents from rushing to jab their kids: Less than 40% of 5–11-year-olds have received one or more doses, nearly eight months after a vaccine was authorized for their age group.

And stoking parents’ concerns this week, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said “we are affirmatively against the Covid vaccine for young kids,” arguing that they need more testing and trials. The state became the only one to not order any vaccines for kids five and younger, though they’ll still be available through non-state-run programs.

Looking ahead…the Biden administration started shipping tot shots yesterday, so they could be available as early as next week.

50 years ago yesterday, cops caught five burglars breaking into the Democratic National Committee office in the Watergate building in Washington, DC. The criminals went to jail, and that’s the end of that story!

Nixon wishes. The burglary kicked off the infamous Watergate scandal that ultimately led to former President Richard Nixon’s resignation and a number of high-ranking government officials ending up in prison. But the event left an even bigger legacy: slapping “-gate” on the end of just about every scandal.

Gategate. The suffix took a while to take off; it was occasionally used by newspapers and a satire site in the years following Watergate to describe various scandals. But no one worked harder to lay the groundwork for Nipplegate and Bridgegate than William Safire, a conservative NYT columnist and former Nixon speechwriter. Safire coined so many “-gate” terms during the Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton presidencies that we simply do not have the word count to share them all.

In the last 20 years, the media became obsessed with adding the suffix to events that don’t come close to the level of scandal as Watergate—such as the controversy around the pressure of footballs used by Tom Brady, known as “Deflategate.”

But this isn’t a uniquely US phenomenon. In the ’90s, Italian media referred to a political corruption scandal as “Tangentopoli” (which roughly translates to “Bribesville”), and now “-poli” is Italy’s own “-gate.”—MM

Stat: A record low 81% of Americans believe in God, according to a new Gallup poll. Something must have changed in just five years (TikTok?), because 87% did in 2017. And between 1944 and 2011, more than nine in 10 Americans believed in God. Young, liberal Americans are the least likely to believe in God, per Gallup.

Quote: “Oh, right there, yes!”

Is it hot in here, or is that just the trash can? Actually…it is the trash can. Some receptacles in the Swedish city of Malmö have been equipped to talk dirty to people who throw away their trash. It’s a campaign intended to help clean up the city’s streets.

Read: A deep dive into nightmares. (Astral Codex Ten)

Weekend conversation starters:

• Is this the future of transportation?
• Why is this frog so bad at jumping?
• Why is this so addicting?
• How does that amazing Google Maps TikTok player do it?

A pod with loads of career advice: In this women-focused podcast, you’ll learn how to be more fulfilled, healthy, and successful at work. Expect numerous “aha” moments. Listen now.

Why does every brand’s design look the same? Go inside the world’s most hated art style.

Brew crossword: Today’s crossword pairs well with an Adirondack chair and mimosas. Play it here.

Open house

Welcome to Open House, the only newsletter section that can spot an abandoned 2000s housing bubble project from a mile away. We’ll give you a few facts about a listing and you try to guess the price.

Today’s monstrosity of a listing is what you would build in Sims 2 after using the “Motherlode” cheat code way more than you should. The 13,600-square-foot home sits on 10 and a half acres of land in Derby, Vermont, just 10 minutes south of the Canadian border. It was built in 2006, and only 70% of its interior is finished. Amenities include:

• 8 beds, 13 baths
• Loose staircase
• Four-story tower with observation room
• Attached three-car garage, detached five-car garage

How much for a place that’s so close to being the perfect McMansion?

Our trusty old friend Internet Explorer is laid to rest, the Fed spikes the punch bowl, and crypto implodes. Watch this video to review what happened this week.

Don’t miss out on more from the Brew:

Find out exactly how much Katie Gatti’s wedding cost.

🖥 The Excel Shortcut Guide mouse pads—available in Mac and PC versions—are lifesavers for anyone who makes spreadsheets. Get yours now.