September 07, 2022 | Read Online

The Silent Agony of a Coach

A coach cannot satisfy everyone. Seldom can the coach even satisfy very many. Rarely can the coach satisfy themselves.

In 1972, a 31-year-old Bill Parcells was coaching the linebackers at Florida State.

He had left Army in 1969 as the defensive coordinator to further his career working in Tallahassee, and now, he was reading Bill Libby’s book “The Coaches.”

In the preface, Libby described the coaching profession in 1,039 words, and Parcells was so smitten by the author’s portrayal that he condensed it even further — keeping the most relevant parts and laminating it. Throughout his career, he would re-read it for inspiration.

September is the start month for many professions. And even though some might not carry the official title of “coach,” this passage can help us navigate the tough times that undoubtedly lie ahead. We can substitute the word “coach” for leader, student, parent, teacher or anyone else simply trying to improve his/her lot in life.

He/She is called “Coach.”

"It is a difficult job, and there is no clear way to succeed. One cannot copy another who is a winner for there seems to be some subtle, secret chemistry of personality that enables a person to lead successfully and no one really knows what it is. Those who have succeeded and those who have failed represent all kinds — young and old. Inexperienced and experienced, hard and soft, tough and gentle, good natured and foul tempered, proud and profane, articulate and inarticulate, even dedicated and casual. Some are smarter than others, but intelligence is not enough. All want to win, some want to win more than others, and just winning is often not enough. Losers almost always get fired, but winners get fired too.

He/she is out in the open being judged publicly almost every day or night for six, seven or eight months a year by those who may or may not be qualified to judge them. And every victory and every defeat is recorded constantly in print or on the air and periodically totaled up.

A coach has no place to hide. He/she cannot just let the job go for a while or do a bad job and assume no one will notice, as most of us can.

A coach cannot satisfy everyone. Seldom can the coach even satisfy very many. Rarely can the coach satisfy themselves.

If a coach wins once, they must win the next time too.

Coaches plot victories, suffer defeats, and endure criticism from within and without. They neglect their families, travel endlessly and live alone in a spotlight surround by others. Theirs may be the worst profession — unreasonably demanding, and insecure and full of unrelenting pressures. Why do they put up with it. Why do they do it?

Having seen them hired and hailed as geniuses at gaudy partying like press conferences and having seen them fired with pat phrases such as 'fool' or 'incompetent.' I have wondered about them. Having seen them exultant in victory and depressed by defeat. I have sympathized with them. Having seen some broken by the job and others die from it, one is moved to admire them and hope that someday the world will learn to understand them."