Gawker - Support our troops (football players)

By Claire Carusillo

Taking psychiatric meds doesn’t have to be a chore

When I started getting ads on Instagram and TikTok for a handheld claw game that teens were stocking with their anti-psychotic meds and stimulants to transform the ritual of pill-taking into an infuriating little arcade game, I knew it was only a matter of time before I owned one. I buy much dumber stuff for a lot more money off Instagram all the time.

As far as I can tell, a few different companies sell the miniature anti-psychotic claw game under different brand names, but the product itself is like a drop-shipped item: manufactured abroad and marked up for American consumers. I bought VitaArcade’s version for $17, because I thought the copy on the website was compelling.

“Turn everyday mundane tasks into extrodinary [sic] arcade games 🕹✨ Sick of taking your daily suppliments [sic again] the same boring way 🥱 Be bored no more with our wide range of fun, luxury & innovative dispensers 🎉,” VitaArcade beckoned. Sold!

When my “extrodinary” arcade game came three weeks later, I stuffed it with generic 100 mg Sertraline tablets roughly the size of Pez pieces. Continue reading

By Olivia Craighead

Hope he sees this, kings

In the wake of James Corden being banned and unbanned from Balthazar, a loser brigade has formed to defend the Cats star. Two starfucking restaurateurs have blabbed to TMZ, telling the gossip site that Corden is actually a great tipper who would never yell at waitstaff. A likely story.

Stratis Morfogen, founding member of the Corden Defense Society, told TMZ that the Late Late Show host is “one of the most pleasant and funny guys he's ever served.” Morfogen, who owns many restaurants including the 25,000-square-foot Brooklyn Chop House in Times Square, said he couldn’t even imagine Corden being mean.

Per TMZ: Continue reading

By Claire Carusillo

"Variety" interviews the people's princess of the central California coast

The Duchess Meghan of Sussex, formerly known as Meghan Markle, has done her first piece of press after the death of her husband’s 96-year-old grandma for Variety. Unlike The Cut’s September cover story — which Variety deems “snarky” — this time around the Princess opts for an interview transcript.

Did she write the questions? Probably. Does she allude to or elucidate anything about the rift within the British royal family? Not really. Does she call Gloria Steinem “Glo”? Absolutely. She also might reveal a certain Rasputin-like immortality that’s thought to run through the royal families of Europe, because she tells the hypothetical actor who “100 years from now is cast as Meghan” in the biopic about her life that will stream exclusively on our futuristic smart microwaves to call her for notes.

But the real bombshell? Well, this beauty — who was very terminally ugly but exceedingly bright in high school, indeed — has been known to eat the occasional burger, and the employees at an In-N-Out somewhere between Los Angeles and Montecito are weeping happy tears into their little paper hats about it. Continue reading

By Kelly Conaboy

That’s why he doesn’t have time for his family, okay?

It’s so easy to sit around and complain, isn’t it? To live your comfortable little life, to watch your comfortable little TV and bitch about how almost all of the comfortable little original shows on Netflix are bad. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is out there fighting. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is out there abandoning his family in order to secure your freedom. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is out there being a literal soldier in the military — in a figurative sense!

In a discussion with Kevin Durant on the Tom Brady-hosted podcast “Let’s Go” (I guess he has a podcast), Brady broke his silence on an intriguing topic: his struggle with maintaining a work-life balance. My, I never would have guessed he had trouble with this, especially after learning he has a completely unnecessary podcast.

“I almost look at a football season like you’re going away on deployment for the military,” he said. “And it’s like, ‘Man, here I go again.’” Man, ugh. If only NFL enrollment were voluntary! Continue reading

By Allie Jones

It’s not Brittany

The achy breaky heart of one Billy Ray Cyrus has found new love after separating from his wife of 28 years in April. This new gal is blonde, allegedly younger, and a singer-songwriter herself. Cyrus posted a photo in which she can be seen wearing a sizable diamond ring on Instagram yesterday, so now people think the two are engaged. Who is she? Now, that’s a question.

Picture this woman in your mind’s eye. What do you think her name is? Brittany? Ashley? Britnee? Ashli?

WRONG. Her name is Continue reading