Morning Brew - ☕ Genius

Did that week seriously just happen?
November 12, 2022 View Online | Sign Up | Shop 10% Off

Morning Brew

Monogram

Good morning. Little did we know how critical that extra hour of sleep last Sunday was, because this week’s news needs its own Wikipedia page.

Just off the top of our heads…FTX imploded, Elon Musk seems to be lighting $44 billion on fire with Twitter, the midterm elections delivered a Democratic surprise, inflation might be finally cooling off, stocks had their best day in years, someone won a record $2.04 billion lottery jackpot…and we didn’t even mention that Taylor Swift expanded her Eras Tour to 52 dates.

If you need anything, we’ll be at Olive Garden. Only unlimited breadsticks can revive us.

Abby Rubenstein, Matty Merritt, Neal Freyman, Max Knoblauch

MARKETS

Nasdaq

11,323.33

S&P

3,992.93

Dow

33,747.86

Bitcoin

$16,881.12

Eli Lilly

$352.30

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 2:00am ET. Here's what these numbers mean.

  • Markets: Stocks extended their rally yesterday, though with a bit less enthusiasm than the day before, when the news that inflation was cooling down dropped. Still, the S&P 500 had its best week since June and the Nasdaq’s gains showed tech stocks are looking hot again. But even as the broader market rose, shares in the top three producers of insulin all dipped yesterday after a Twitter account verified through the briefly expanded Twitter Blue program posed as Eli Lilly on Thursday and said the company was making the drug free.
 

TECH

We might have been a little loose with the term ‘genius’

Sam Bankman-Fried speaks onstage Craig Barritt/Getty Images for CARE For Special Children.

Warren Buffett famously noted, “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked,” and this week it looks like many tech entrepreneurs who had us all convinced they were geniuses might really have been splashing around shortsless.

To recap:

  • FTX, the world’s second-biggest crypto exchange, filed for bankruptcy yesterday days after a plan to sell itself to rival Binance for $1 dollar (a far cry from its recent $32 billion valuation) fell apart. The exchange’s meltdown took the net worth of founder Sam Bankman-Fried—aka SBF, who positioned himself as the public face of crypto—from $16 billion to $0. He resigned as CEO but is still being investigated for possible crimes or securities law violations, per AP.
  • Meta laid off 11,000 staffers on Wednesday, with the company dragged down in large part by CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s commitment to building a metaverse that possibly no one else wants.
  • Elon Musk’s second week in charge of Twitter was pure chaos, including the frenzied launch of his pet pay-for-blue-check plan, which had to be paused after accounts impersonating big brands revealed its flaws. He even said the company could go bankrupt. This hasn’t inspired confidence in how he’s leading his other major ventures: Tesla stock, which was already having a rough year, fell ~6% this week.
  • Masayoshi Son, SoftBank’s founder and chief unicorn hunter, said yesterday he’d step back from the day to day after the firm’s signature Vision Fund reported a $10 billion quarterly loss.

Of course, Zuck and Musk could both still turn things around, but this week’s giant missteps suggest that maybe the stories we tell ourselves about the biggest personalities in Big Tech aren’t all true—and maybe a decade of low interest rates helped them out more than they admitted. Or, as Mike Novogratz, a crypto investor who expects to lose $77 million in the FTX debacle, put it: “This is a tale as old as time. Some young charismatic guy in Bermuda shorts with the floppy hair charmed the 20 best investors and regulators in the world.”—AR

        

TOGETHER WITH MONOGRAM

On track to Nasdaq

Monogram

Ever wanted to own a piece of a company before its IPO?

Monogram is giving you that chance as they reinvent the $19.6b joint-replacement industry.

A bone to pick: Joint-replacement technology for knees + hips has barely changed in 40 years. Crude instruments are still used to prepare bones for rigid, generic implants, and 66% of patients are left in chronic pain after their costly surgeries.

Knee-deep in potential: Monogram’s developing precision surgical robots to robotically prepare the next generation of patient-optimized implants. In fact, Dr. Robot performed a live surgery on a cadaver for a 2,000-person digital audience earlier this year…with human supervision, of course.

Plus, Monogram’s reserved their Nasdaq ticker symbol, so take this opportunity to become a shareholder before they IPO.

Invest in Monogram before the opportunity ends November 17.

WORLD

Tour de headlines

Arizona Senator Mark Kelly Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

The Democrats are one win away from holding the Senate. Incumbent Sen. Mark Kelly triumphed over challenger Blake Masters and won reelection in Arizona, the AP reported yesterday. That means Kelly’s party needs to score just one more seat in the chamber for control (with the vice president’s tie-breaking vote), and two remain up for grabs. Ballots are still being counted in Nevada, and in Georgia a runoff vote is already scheduled for December. When it comes to the House, neither party has had a decisive victory yet, but the GOP is nearly there.

China backs off zero-Covid…a little. Leaders loosened the country’s stringent Covid policies, shortening mandatory quarantine time for arriving travelers and close contacts of infected individuals, but said they were still sticking to the policy overall. Even baby steps matter here: The move sent stocks in China and Hong Kong soaring and bolstered global oil prices.

But Covid’s not done yet. The US will extend its Covid public health emergency through the spring of 2023 in anticipation of another winter surge. The emergency, first issued in January 2020, broadens eligibility for both Medicaid and the Children’s Health Insurance Program, and the government estimates that ~15 million people will lose their benefits from those programs once it ends.

STUDENT LOANS

Will your student loans get canceled?

Two wrestlers arguing WWE via Giphy

Student loan forgiveness feels like trying to figure out holiday plans with your divorced parents: constantly in flux. The Department of Education took down the debt relief application after a federal judge in Texas declared the program illegal on Thursday.

What’s next? The Ed Dept. appealed the decision, but it could take months for the 5th Circuit Court to weigh in. And even after that, the case could end up at the Supreme Court. SCOTUS has already rejected two cases that tried to halt student loan forgiveness—one filed by six GOP-led states and one by a Wisconsin taxpayer group. Biden is also dealing with another pending lawsuit from Arizona’s GOP attorney general and the libertarian think tank the Cato Institute.

What can you do? Whether you’ve applied already or not, your best bet is to just sit tight. The Biden admin said it would hold on to the 26 million applications it’s already received in hopes this could be resolved quickly. But the clock is ticking as repayments are set to resume in January.—MM

        

SPORTS

Bratwurst and football: That’s what Germany does

Setting up an NFL field in Munich Sven Hoppe/picture alliance via Getty Images

If Tom Brady seems a little discombobulated tomorrow, it’s probably because a) his entire FTX investment was wiped out and b) he has jet lag.

The QB and his Tampa Bay Buccaneers will face the Seattle Seahawks tomorrow in Munich—the NFL’s first-ever regular season game in Germany.

They’ll get a warm willkommen. Germans, despite living an entire ocean away from any NFL stadium, enjoy American football more than they like stringing together consonants.

  • The NFL said that demand was so intense for attending the Munich game it could have sold 3 million tickets. That’s 40x the capacity of Allianz Arena, the 75,024-seat stadium where the Bucs and Seahawks will play.
  • In a recent survey, American football was ranked the second-most popular sport in the country, behind soccer.

How did this happen? While Germans always seemed like a good fit for the NFL (beer, pretzels, etc.), the big break came in 2015 when a weekly NFL doubleheader was made available for free on TV there. Interest in the sport has only kept growing following the 2021 launch of European League of Football, a European pro football league.

Zoom out: The NFL’s Munich debut is another milestone in its international expansion. After games in London, Mexico City, and Munich this year, the league will have played a total of 45 games outside of the US.—NF

        

GRAB BAG

Key performance indicators

Les Poseuses, Ensemble Les Poseuses, Ensemble/The Paul G. Allen Collection

Stat: The auction of Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen’s art collection this week brought in $1.6 billion, making it the biggest art sale of all time. But that record haul doesn’t mean it was a savvy investment. Despite Allen being an extremely wealthy and discerning art collector, he recorded an average annualized growth rate of just 6.2% over 18 years for the pieces he previously bought at auction. That’s actually lower than the S&P 500’s growth rate over that time span, Axios notes.

Quote: “Ehhh, I don’t think so. And I’m never wrong about this stuff—never.”

Larry David predicted FTX’s collapse…while starring in an FTX commercial. In an old ad that for some strange reason went viral again this week, the Curb Your Enthusiasm star dismisses FTX, which was promoted as “a safe and easy way to get into crypto.” The ad’s narrator closes the spot by saying “Don’t be like Larry”—but perhaps we could learn a thing or two from the man’s deeply embedded skepticism.

Read: A history of Teletubbies before Netflix drops the reboot. (BBC)

CARTOON

Saturday sketch

Door-to-door crypto salesmen cartoon Max Knoblauch

WHAT ELSE IS BREWING

  • Ukrainian troops entered the city of Kherson after Russian forces retreated in a major defeat for Vladimir Putin’s invasion.
  • Hurricane Nicole caused at least two deaths when it struck Florida before weakening into a tropical depression and drenching the East Coast with rain.
  • Coloradans voted to decriminalize psychedelic mushrooms, but you’ll still need to be over 21 and under supervision at a “healing center” to get fungal.
  • Tiffany Trump, daughter of former President Donald Trump, is getting married today at Mar-a-Lago.

BREW'S BETS

Weekend conversation starters:

Conflict resolution tips: Learn from the head of Harvard’s International Negotiation program.

You are not alone: This time of year can be tough, and BetterHelp can match you with a therapist within 48 hours for a video, phone, or chat session. Save 25% on your first month.*

Interview evolution: Tell me why you want this job in 20 seconds. Go! The problems with automated interviews are real—here’s what HR professionals need to know.

*This is sponsored advertising content.

GAMES

The puzzle section

Brew crossword: Today’s crossword puzzle is totally in fashion. Play it here.

Welcome to Open House, the only newsletter section that is totally comfortable pitting two castles against each other. We’ll give you a few facts about two listings and you try to guess which one costs more.

Left: Derek Jeter's castle in New York. Right: German castle Schloss RoseckStephen Dolinsky, Herle & Company

The first castle, pictured on the left, was built in 1903 and sits on four acres in Orange County, New York, just 50 miles northwest of Manhattan. The property, which includes a 9,000-square-foot main house, is currently owned by…Derek Jeter. It’s got a waterfall and a Statue of Liberty replica.

And on the right, Schloss Roseck in Tübingen, a city in southwest Germany, has been rebuilt a bunch of times since its original founding in the 12th century. It needs quite a bit of restoration, but there’s 37,000+ square footage of livable space across 74 acres.

Which castle costs more?

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AROUND THE BREW

Keep your brew hot and your spreadsheet skills cool

Keep your brew hot and your spreadsheet skills cool

️ Keep your morning joe hot and your spreadsheet skills cool by working with 80+ shortcuts in the palm of your hand. Shop the Excel Mug now.

🗳 How much does it cost to run a political campaign? More importantly, how much does it cost to win? We look into the financials of getting a seat in Congress. Watch here.

With coverage of drones, robotics, and AI, Emerging Tech Brew keeps you up-to-date on the technologies shaping our future.

Sidekick dropped its list of the most innovative and creative entrepreneurs to have on your radar. Check it out.

ANSWER

Derek Jeter’s castle will go to auction in December with the minimum bid set at $6.5 million. The German castle is worth €2.9 million, which is ~$2.7 million.


         

Written by Neal Freyman, Abigail Rubenstein, Matty Merritt, and Max Knoblauch

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