The Cut - The Feeling of Ambient War in Ukraine

By the time I set foot in Ukraine on a reporting trip this past summer, Russia’s attacks on the country had been going on for months, and many Ukrainians had grown accustomed to the uncomfortable rhythms of war. Multiple times a day there were air-raid sirens and push notifications about incoming rockets. Even still, people sat outside at cafés and drank espresso tonics, gathered to dance in public squares, ordered Ubers and takeout. In the park, people played soccer and basketball; an elderly couple held hands and kissed.

There it was, the Ukrainian resilience we had all heard so much about, and it was beautiful. It was also something to adjust to. For days, I couldn’t eat. In the dark, I sat awake, listening as even the croon of a refrigerator turned into the sound of a Russian missile. I felt guilty, as I do now, of belaboring my own mortality when others were dying, dead, forever gone. And so I quickly learned, just like others, to always present a brave face.

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