Gawker - TIL Prince Harry murdered 25 people?

By Claire Carusillo

Mamma Mia!

You hear that? It’s just me yelling ¡O dios mio! in the porte cochère of Nott Cott after reading a Spanish language leak of Harry’s book Spare, which is entitled Spare: En La Sombra. After this morning’s astounding leaks about Willy slamming Harold against a dog bowl and breaking his necklace, I didn’t think anything betwixt those pages could get more salacious. And then I saw that Harry claimed that his brother and his bride Kate Middleton were “regular— nay religious– viewers of Suits,” according to Page Six. Idol worship from the future head of the Anglican church? Obviously, I believe it because I read it.

In the book, Harry recounts telling his elders about his hot date with the Suits siren after a dinner at their home. After dropping the Markle bomb (“Snogging’s great, innit”), Harry writes, “Willy turned to me and said ‘Fuck off?’” Continue reading

By Claire Carusillo

Also, it was his fault Harry wore that Nazi costume, leaked excerpts of ‘Spare’ detail

The British press has gotten their blood-stained satin gloves on Prince Harry’s impending and highly secretive memwah Spare (out Jan. 10), and all I can say is, baby, I’m repenting at the altar of the Supreme Governor of the Church of England, which is actually a counter at Nando’s Peri-Peri. I’m sorry I said the Windsors were flopping their way into opaque panty-hosed irrelevancy ever since their matriarch died of supernatural causes in September. I take it all back. We got ourselves a book book, and I’m blessed to live in a world where I get to read about how a pallid and feeble future king named “Willy” not only encouraged his baby brother Harry to wear a Nazi costume to a “Native and Colonial”-themed party in 2005 but ALSO how he beat Harry’s tight little arse so bad that he broke the ickle ginge’s treasured Namibian friendship bead necklace (or whateva) in 2019.

According to Page Six, Harry was torn between two different costumes for the N&C shindig, a pilot uniform or a Nazi uniform and phoned his big bro, who himself was dressed as a leotarded lion, for input. Tough choice, and one I understand, and I’d definitely call my own brother about this too. Continue reading

By Fran Hoepfner

She is using her powers of Photoshop for good

Something I did not consider as I hovered on the brink of motion sickness during Avatar: The Way of Water is how cool it would be to become a Na’vi. That, of course, is the plot of the first Avatar film, in which Jake Sully learns just how cool it would be to be nine feet tall and blue. By the end of Avatar: The Way of Water, I hated Jake Sully, and I was ready for him to become a human again (impossible, unfortunately, unless James Cameron has cooked up something new for one of its myriad sequels) and leave the Na’vi alone. Continue reading

By Fran Hoepfner

God does not want us this yassified

Every night before I fall asleep, the same horrible image flashes before my eyes. Maybe you see it too. Do you want to see it? Are you sure? Okay, here goes: Continue reading

By Olivia Craighead

This is the official line on the 'M3GAN' star, and you better get with the program!

We here at Gawker love Allison Williams. We all love Girls. We obviously think that her work in Get Out is masterful. I believe one of my brilliant colleagues once called the thriller where she’s a cellist “pretty good.” And we are all very excited to see M3GAN, in which she plays a scientist named Gemma who creates a murderous doll who is up to date on TikTok dances. But we have to be honest here, there is no good way to do a profile on Williams. Continue reading