The Cut - ‘I’m Jealous and Regretful’

Six years ago, I decided to get into theater and got some internships and then an entry-level job in dramaturgy in one of the most renowned theaters in Europe without any formal training. But after a year, my depression came back in full force. I saw the intern who replaced me at my job become one of the leading dramaturgs of the theater, and I went deeper and deeper into depression.

I don’t want to go back to theater, but I periodically get the feeling that I could have had a solid career by now. I could have made a name in the scene, or at least I wouldn’t be working a mind-crushing office job for the rest of my dumb life if I had just toughed it out for a bit. When I look at the people who came from my “scene” and now have a solid career with podcasts and books and scholarships and all that, I get a feeling of deep, deep jealousy, and I can’t be happy for them. I want to have what they have. Meanwhile, I’m stuck waiting for emails and listening to office gossip. How can I lose the feeling that I’m too good for “normal people” work, a feeling that is destroying every ounce of contentment I could ever feel in my little life? Do I really have to look for another job where we talk about emails and when to send them every week in a meeting?

Say good-bye to Maisie Williams and Reuben Selby’s matching couple ’fits. Showrunner Jesse Armstrong has confirmed that season four will be Succession’s last. Following backlash, Penguin is backtracking on its plan to make Roald Dahl books more PC. This Florida bill would set a dangerous precedent regarding personhood and reminds us a lot of the pregnant-woman-in-the-HOV-lane argument. At Clarkesworld, “The irony of being a magazine that publishes sci-fi that is flooded with stories written by AI isn’t lost on” the editor. Why your Target deliveries are about to start arriving faster. And head into the weekend with this heartwarming story of a young composer and TikTok actually being nice for once.

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