The Cut - Life Is Easier With a Fake Assistant

On a recent Thursday at 10 p.m., I ducked into a sold-out Michael Che show in the Meatpacking District and took a seat across from a woman who looked as though her date was whispering something offensive into her ear.

I had learned of the show only the day before, at which point tickets were no longer available. I was lucky, though, to have my personal assistant, James, on the case. James Bernstein, a bookish NYU student I had hired earlier this year, reached out directly to the show’s organizers, bypassing the generic wait-list webpage. He was able to lock down three tickets. James is useful like that. He’s polite but persistent; fervent but never gruff. He told me once that he learned to be dogged from his mother, a line producer for 60 Minutes. If there’s a secret email address or VIP phone number out there, James will unsheathe it. He is not afraid to ask for what he needs. He is also 100 percent fake.

Coperni has a history of going viral at Fashion Week, and the brand has done it again, this time with robots. The Nick Cannon baby pool has been given new life by the man himself. Question is, will he simply be launching something like a children’s clothing line, or will he be announcing No. 12? Just when we think we can’t love Sheryl Lee Ralph any more than we do already, she goes and wins our hearts all over again. As the Swiss well know, it’s important to have standards. On the mess that ensues when tragedy becomes true crime. If you can’t identify someone by their name, should they be saved in your contacts in the first place? And be careful where you post!

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