The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section.

Careers

ART SPELUNKER: A Canadian man had to be rescued after climbing onto a giant sculpture made of silver balls and falling inside of it. He was then slapped with a $5,000 mischief fee for making first responders find him.

EXEC DOG-WALKER: Twitter CEO Elon Musk told a BBC journalist that his Shiba Inu, Floki, is actually the CEO of Twitter and that Musk dresses him up in a black turtleneck like Elizabeth Holmes. Musk being cringe in public about his dog is the most relatable thing about him.

LIGHTBULB FASTENER: All 17,000 street lamps in Wellington, New Zealand, are at risk of crashing to the ground at any moment.

Personal

$500 FOR SHY PEOPLE: The South Korean government approved a plan that offers reclusive young people in the country a general living stipend to get the heck out of their homes and touch grass.

NEW ENEMY RODENT: 20+ pound rodents called Nutrias have huge orange buck teeth and are destroying wetlands and property along the US coasts. Aside from being generally pretty ugly, they also destroy golf courses—talk about an iconic Caddyshack remake.

For sale

AUTHENTIC BASKUIAT: Art auctioneer Michael Barzman admitted to helping create 20–30 fake Jean-Michel Basquiat paintings, which were seized in an FBI raid of the Orlando Museum of Art last June. Authorities probably identified the fakes because a TikToker released a “20 awesome Basquiat dupes!” video.

AGED MOUNTAIN DEW: The makers of Hard Mountain Dew hosted a rager in Florida for 300 residents living in a retirement community. It was a splashy launch event to promote a new flavor, Livewire, which looks like what would get hydraulic-pressed out of a traffic cone.—MM

Here are some illuminating scientific discoveries from the week to help you live better and maybe even give you an excuse to eat ice cream for breakfast.

Your neighbor’s Olympic-sized pool contributes to water crises. New research shows that rich people using excess water to fill swimming pools, maintain gardens, and even wash cars plays a big role in water crises around the world. In the case of Cape Town, South Africa, the wealthiest residents were responsible for 51% of the city’s water usage, despite being only 14% of the population. The researchers found that unsustainable water usage can contribute to water shortages “at least as much as climate change or population growth.”

Our picture of a black hole just got better. Four years ago, astronomers created the first-ever image of a black hole, and now they’ve used AI to enhance it, CSI-style. The famous image of the black hole at the center of the M87 galaxy (~55 million light-years from Earth) is not actually a photo; it’s scientists’ best approximation based on telescope data. Now, AI has sifted through the same data to make an even better version. The result: The picture has gone from a fuzzy portrait of an orange ring of light to…a crisper, darker picture of an orange ring of light. But researchers say that’s enough to help them learn more about the celestial phenomenon.

Ice cream might help you avoid diabetes. Most of us consider ice cream what Cookie Monster calls “a sometime food,” but this week, The Atlantic dug into one of the more inexplicable findings of science: that Breyers might be good for you—at least when it comes to staving off diabetes. In more than one study, dairy has been found to help lower diabetes risk, and that ice cream in particular is linked to this health benefit. To be clear, the research isn’t conclusive, and scientists can’t quite explain why it happens.—AR

On Friday, Puerto Rican megastar Bad Bunny closed out the first day of Coachella—an appropriate finale to a landmark week for Latin music.

According to a report released by the Recording Industry Association of America on Wednesday, Latin music revenue surged 24% last year to hit a record high of $1.1 billion in the US. That’s the second straight year of double-digit gains and a bigger jump than any other music genre.

Where is the growth coming from? One word: streaming.

• Streaming accounted for an eye-popping 97% of Latin music revenues last year. Here, Bad Bunny is the GOAT: He’s been the most-streamed artist on Spotify globally for three straight years (18.5 billion streams in all).
• Latin artists J. Balvin and Ozuna have more videos in YouTube’s billion-views club than any other musicians. And Karol G was the most-viewed artist globally on Vevo, a streaming service known for its music videos.

It didn’t happen overnight

If you had to identify the breakthrough moment for Latin music on the US pop scene, you’d probably point to the “Despacito” remix with Justin Bieber, Daddy Yankee, and Luis Fonsi. That song was everywhere in 2017; the more words you knew, the cooler you were.

But the millennials and Gen Xers reading this know that Americans were dancing to Latin music decades before “Despacito,” like in 1999 when Shakira, Marc Anthony, and Ricky Martin rose to fame by recording their songs in English.

Over the years, English lyrics became less of a necessity to appeal to mass audiences. A seminal Spanish-language track was Daddy Yankee’s 2010 reggaeton banger, “Gasolina.” This song has been deemed so significant to American musical history that it was selected this week as one of 25 recordings and albums to be preserved in the National Recording Registry at the Library of Congress.

In introducing the once-underground reggaeton genre to the masses, Daddy Yankee walked so Bad Bunny could run.

• During two months last summer, Bad Bunny’s songs were in the Spotify top 100 more times than tracks from Olivia Rodrigo, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Harry Styles combined, according to Bloomberg.
• He even added a second leg of his tour last year after playing 15,000-seat arenas proved woefully insufficient in satisfying demand for his shows.

Big picture: With Daddy Yankee now retired from the music scene, Bad Bunny and a deep bench of emerging Latin artists are conquering the airwaves and reaching audiences Ricky Martin never could, thanks to the advent of streaming services. It’s not an exaggeration to say that, currently in the US, Latin music is pop music.—NF

Meal prep: These sweet-and-savory adobo chocolate chip cookies from Abi Balingit’s new cookbook, Mayumu, are so unconventionally tasty that they almost broke the internet.

Book rec: Looking for a prehistoric sci-fi novel? Maybe a book that offers the same vibes as a Nora Ephron movie? This subreddit has you covered.

Streaming binge: Beef, starring Ali Wong and Steven Yeun, is a beautiful portrayal of chaos—there’s a reason many critics call it one of the year’s best shows. All episodes are on Netflix.

Background music: What can we say…Lofi Girl’s new “beats to chill/game to” stream indeed has some good beats to chill and game to.

Smart purchase: Putting a duvet cover on your duvet should not be the most stressful part of your week. Shout out to these duvet clips.

Tech tip: Check out this free video trimmer from Adobe.

Pod rec: The level of wholesomeness in this episode of Mike Birbiglia’s Working it Out with guest John Green cannot be overstated.

Your new e-ride: Meet Upway—the #1 marketplace for certified e-bikes. Upway carries new and pre-owned e-bikes for up to 60% off retail. Browse their huge selection and use code BREW200 for $200 off your next e-bike.*

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It’s a big world out there. In this section, we’ll teleport you to an interesting location—and hopefully give you travel ideas in the process.

Tomorrow morning, about 30,000 people will run, at varying speeds, 26.2 miles from Hopkinton, MA, to Boylston Street in one of the most famous races in the world: the Boston Marathon.

This year’s race will symbolize endurance in more ways than one. It will mark 10 years since two bombs exploded near the finish line, killing three people, wounding almost 300, and shaking the city on its most celebratory day.

Held on Patriot’s Day, which commemorates the first battles of the Revolutionary War, Boston is the oldest continuously running marathon in the world, dating back to 1897. And simply qualifying for it is an achievement: Strict entry rules require that men age 18–34 record an official marathon time of three hours or less; for women of the same age, the qualifying time is 3:30.

If that seems daunting (it is), you can also try to enter the race by raising money for one of the 42 charities associated with the event. Or you can join most people—about 500,000 of them—who skip work to cheer from the sidelines and maybe even sneak in a few Monday morning beers.—NF

Last week we asked: Besides the essentials, what are you bringing into your apocalypse bunker?

Some of our favorite responses:

• “Definitely Gak. Nothing brings joy quite like a li’l slime blast.”—Matt from Sunnyside, NY
• “Memory foam mattress. I can’t fight zombies or aliens if I have back issues.”—Andi from Atlanta, GA
• “Tennis balls. They are extremely durable and long-lasting. I can literally bounce them on every wall while getting plenty of exercise and entertainment.”—Jack from Little Rock, AR
• “My skincare routine. Clear skin isn’t stopping because of some apocalypse.”—Angie from Louisiana
• “A ridiculous amount of donuts of different flavors and sizes so I have the option of eating them, wearing them as bracelets or anklets, and building donut skyscrapers.”— Isabelle from California
• "A pepper mill. Freshly ground pepper would make even rat or centipede taste better.”—Jim

This week’s question

NPR and PBS said they will stop posting on Twitter. What ancient internet community should be resurrected to share news?

Here’s Matty’s response to get the juices flowing: “There’s no reason Webkinz can’t have a news feed.”

Share your response here.

🩺 Will we be paging Dr. ChatGPT? Maybe not quite yet, but AI can play a major role in speeding up the development of new drugs. Read more here.

Don’t let personal finance scare you: Money With Katie’s free Finance 101 series will give you all the tips to kickstart your personal finance journey. Check it out.

The Brief, a Marketing Brew Summit, is happening next month. We still have a few more discounted tickets up for grabs, but tomorrow the prices go up. Secure your spot today.