"My Life Closed Twice" by Cameron Awkward-Rich

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May 9, 2023 

My Life Closed Twice

Cameron Awkward-Rich

Liz, I think her name was, the woman 
my mother brought me to. We played

cards in her perfumed office: lavender,
tulips, bowl of wax fruit. I was ten

and wanted to die. I don’t know why
I’m here again. I lived. Obviously, 

I lived. When I was older, but still 
a child, not innocent, but foolish,

I looked up from my solitary 
suffering. I learned the history

of men. I pointed to a spot
on the map they rendered. I said 

then, then, built my common life
in a room at the end. 

If it’s true, what they say, that poetry 
is written with the knowledge of

and against death, that it is 
a beacon, a bulwark, then Love, 

I confess, I have been no poet. 
Outside, a hawk circles overhead. 

Four cops circle a woman
dressed all in red. I circle

the apartment as you sleep, happily
in the next room. Just this once

I want so desperately 
to be proven wrong. 

Copyright © 2023 by Cameron Awkward-Rich. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on May 9, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.

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“I wrote this poem in the summer of 2020, in a fit of something like optimism.”
Cameron Awkward-Rich

Cameron Awkward-Rich

Cameron Awkward-Rich is the author of The Terrible We (Duke University Press, 2022), among other titles. The recipient of fellowships from Cave Canem, the Lannan Foundation, and the ACLS, he teaches in the department of women, gender, and sexuality studies at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
 

Dispatch: Poems

Dispatch: Poems
(Persea Books, 2019) 

 

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