The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section.

Careers

ROBOT DJs: A radio station in Portland, Oregon, is cloning the voice of its midday host Ashley Elzinga and will use an AI version of her (“AI Ashley”) for some segments. The real Ashley isn’t losing her job, but automation continues to be a major concern among radio hosts.

DIRECTOR OF MANAGER DIRECTING: Deutsche Bank’s investment arm eliminated “managing director” and “director” titles two years ago. But now the bank is potentially bringing them back after workers griped about their shortened job titles. After all, how are they supposed to know who gets CC’ed and who gets BCC’ed?

Personal

SEEKING BLACK WIDOW: Texas tarantulas are more desperate for companionship than single 20-somethings at a farmers market. Male tarantulas in the state have spent the last five to seven years living underground, but this summer, they’ve emerged with fresh skin and the confidence of a sexually mature spider. Look out, ladies.

ISO JUICY CRIME STORIES: If you want to break into podcasting, investigate an unsolved murder in your hometown. True crime podcasts accounted for an astounding 24% of the 451 top-ranked podcasts in the US, according to a new report from Pew Research Center.

For sale

SPEAK NOW (STOLEN VERSION): A French man was sentenced to eight months in prison for stealing 10 vinyl copies of Taylor Swift’s upcoming re-release from a warehouse. Only eight copies have been recovered, but no one has checked Taylor Lautner’s house.

THE REAL DISNEY CASTLE: The storybook Los Angeles home where Walt Disney lived from 1932 until 1950 is now available for lease. It’s rumored to have inspired some of his most famous characters, so consider it a $40,000/month cure for your writer’s block.—MM

Here are some illuminating scientific discoveries from the week to help you live better and maybe even check your pretty privilege.

Life is possible on one of Saturn’s moons. Scientists have found all the ingredients needed to support life in an extraterrestrial ocean for the first time, indicating that the waters of one of Saturn’s small moons, Enceladus, are habitable. While this doesn’t mean that there are little sea creatures living there, the presence of phosphorus—which scientists say is the rarest bioessential element in the universe—suggests there definitely could be. A NASA mission to land on Enceladus and search for life has been tentatively proposed for 2050, so we won’t get answers soon.

🪰 A fly’s lifespan shortens after seeing dead flies. Fruit flies become more antisocial and die faster after seeing or smelling their dead, and the scientists who discovered this say it could also help us understand how people react to being around dead bodies. Similar reactions to being around the dead have been found in other insects and mammals, which suggests that all species might have a connection between their sensory perceptions and life spans, according to researchers. They think the fruit fly’s reaction could be an evolutionary adaptation to being in a stressful situation.

Extra confidence makes hot people earn more. It’s already been established that attractiveness tends to trigger preferential treatment, but new research suggests that excessive self-confidence may cause hot people in finance to get more promotions and money than their normal-looking colleagues. “Due to their great bargaining power, attractive individuals may have learned that they deserve better,” writes one researcher. But the “halo effect” that gives beautiful people better treatment also considers personality: In another study, photos of good-hearted folks got rated as more attractive once participants knew they were looking at kind people.—ML

New Yorkers know the rules: Skip the small talk, limit the grocery run to what you can haul to a sixth-floor walk-up, and avoid getting behind the wheel in the city at all costs.

In fact, the costs of driving are only getting higher: NYC is getting closer to charging people for driving downtown in an attempt to curb rush-hour traffic.

Known as congestion pricing, the fee is meant to encourage commuters to ditch their cars for the train or bus while raising cash to improve public transit.

After a public review period ended Monday, the city is waiting for the final go-ahead from federal authorities to roll out the first congestion charge in a US city as early as next spring. And, as they say, if congestion pricing can make it here, it...will probably spread to other US cities looking to smother traffic and boost revenue.

The policy has helped unclog roads in places like London, Stockholm, and Singapore, and transit wonks in the US are eager to see whether it will catch on here. But, as with anything else, New Yorkers have strong opinions—many of them negative. So, let’s break it down.

Here’s how this would work

• Cars driving into Manhattan anywhere below 60th Street (the area dubbed the central business district) would face a daily toll.
• The exact amount isn’t known yet, but it could be anywhere from $9 to $23 per day for passenger cars, with a reduced fee in off times and a possible discount for low-income drivers.

The MTA expects the congestion charge to reduce the number of cars on the road by up to 20%. And the move is expected to make Manhattan’s air cleaner and its streets safer.

Meanwhile, the fees would raise $1 billion a year, according to the NYC comptroller, and the MTA could use the money to improve service for its trains and buses. With the country’s largest transit system struggling to make ends meet, the fee touted as a win-win.

But is the toll too steep?

Many people are upset about paying to endure Manhattan’s gridlock (even if congestion pricing will raise the average rush-hour speed, which is currently about 7 mph). Some critics say it could hurt low-income drivers, while others worry about potential losses for businesses in the central business district that rely on commercial vehicles.

Outer borough residents aren’t thrilled, either. Rep. Nicole Malliotakis, the Republican from New York who represents Staten Island, called it a “cash grab” by the MTA and expressed concern that drivers would bypass the tolls by driving through the borough. The MTA acknowledges that the pricing scheme will likely cause more congestion in other parts of town and pollution (the agency has proposed pollution mitigation strategies).

But non-city dwellers might be the least chill with New York’s plan: New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy lashed out at the measure this week, saying it amounts to a tax on NJ residents who already pay tolls to drive into Manhattan for work.

Pushback to the pushback

“Congestion pricing will not make the sky fall,” Nicholas J. Klein, assistant professor in the Department of City and Regional Planning at Cornell University, told Morning Brew, since most people already travel into the area via public transit, walking, or biking.

Associate Professor of Urban Planning at UCLA Michael Manville noted that most people traveling to Manhattan by car can afford the extra charge as they’re already willing to shell out a fortune for parking. And he emphasizes that those who will pay the congestion toll will benefit from a zippier commute.

Zoom out: The proposed anti-congestion move in the nation’s largest city comes amid a broader conversation about just how much Americans should depend on four-wheeled metal boxes to get around.—SK

Meal prep: Challenge yourself with this scallion bun recipe from Frankie Gaw of Little Fat Boy.

Book rec: The Bandit Queens by Parini Shroff is dark comedy at its finest. Longlisted for the Women’s Prize for Fiction, this is a read for fans of shows like Dead to Me and Bad Sisters.

Watch: David Attenborough’s Our Planet II on Netflix is a mesmerizing docuseries that shows plenty of cute animals and all the ways that humans have put them in danger.

Art rec: Nick Hernandez’s textured paintings are giving futuristic desert vibes.

State lovin’: Good news! We found the Wisconsin-shaped casserole dish you’ve been looking for.

Music rec: Check out Janelle Monae’s newest record, The Age of Pleasure. It’s aptly described by Pitchfork as an album for “sunny days and sticky nights.”

Master of notes: Retain info and get organized with this note-taking master class from Timothy Kenny—and pair it with apps you already use. Originally $190, it’s free for Brew readers for 72 hours.*

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It’s a big world out there. In this section, we’ll teleport you to an interesting location—and hopefully give you travel ideas in the process.

Tomorrow, Americans around the country will attend festivals, host backyard barbecues, and parade through the streets to celebrate Juneteenth, which marks the end of slavery in the US.

But to understand how Juneteenth began, you have to go to one place: Galveston, TX.

In this historic port city on the Gulf of Mexico, a Union general informed enslaved Black people in Texas that they were free. The date: June 19, 1865, nearly two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued (information took a while to travel during the Civil War).

Juneteenth only became a federal holiday in 2021, but it’s been celebrated in Galveston for more than 150 years. It’s especially personal for many Black residents of the city, since they can trace their lineage back to the enslaved people who were freed on the original Juneteenth.

As the birthplace of Juneteenth, Galveston offers many opportunities to learn about the holiday. But the city more broadly is a candy store for history buffs—it was a major commercial center in the 19th century thanks to its deepwater port, and the downtown Strand District, lined with Victorian buildings, was once known as the “Wall Street of the South.”

Oh yeah, and there are more than 30 miles of beaches when you’ve had your fill of museums.—NF

Last week we asked: What is the best use case for Apple’s new VR headset? Here are our favorite responses.

• “Watching sports at a wedding.”—Mark from Bartlett, IL
• “I’m wearing these to my next Zoom training at work so I can simultaneously learn how not to violate HIPAA laws and also enjoy my favorite episodes of The Office and maybe Seinfeld.”—Flava from Phoenix, AZ
• “Uhh, chopping onions. Why else would I wear goggles indoors?”—Ari from Brooklyn, NY
• “Skiing. While going downhill, it gives you directions to the shortest lift line, and on the lift, you can VR downhill to get extra runs in. When you’re done, it takes you to the nearest hot tub with drink service.”—Jake from Colorado

This week’s question

Grimace, the purple McDonald’s mascot, had his birthday last week. To celebrate the chaotic Gemini, the fast-food chain rolled out a birthday meal promotion consisting of medium fries, a choice of a Big Mac or 10-piece Chicken McNugget, and a berry-flavored purple milkshake. So, here’s our question: What other mascot needs their own birthday meal and what would the meal be?

Matty’s answer to get the juices flowing: “Lil’ Red, sidekick to the University of Nebraska’s other mascot and beefed-up cowboy, Herbie Husker, should celebrate his birthday with three slices of Casey’s breakfast pizza, a large cherry Pepsi, and the gray Pride skittles.”

Share your response here.

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