The Art of No: 5 Ways to Live Within Your Capacity

Early on in my minimalist journey, I realized the life reset I desired would largely be shaped by one little word: “no.”

This “no epiphany” happened during a routine Saturday morning encounter with a coffee mug. One that, on this particular weekend, between sips of hot liquid, prompted me to think deeper…

My life paralleled this mug—it could only contain so much.

I, like this mug, had a fixed capacity. Living within my capacity meant the liquid stayed in the mug, sweetener could be added, and it (life) could be enjoyed.

Going beyond my capacity?

That meant an overflow of liquid everywhere, seeping into the cracks of my soul, diluting my presence, and washing away my fervor for life.

At the present time, overwhelm had been rising around me, simply because I'd been living outside of my capacity. I was determined to own it all, do it all, be it all… and it had pushed my life over the brim.

The rim of my hypothetical coffee mug looked less like the top of a container and more like a waterfall submerging everything in its path.

Minimalism was my lifeline. My way out of the daily deluge.

Minimalism required questioning my possessions, commitments, and even my self-talk thoughts. I began to realize what wasn't adding value to my life and to firmly tell it “no.” No, it could not take up space if it no longer served me. Soon, the flood levels lowered.

As I let go of what wasn't truly important in my life, I began to realize what was. Inner peace overrode showy accumulation. Connection trumped to-do lists. Alignment outdid accolades.

“No” created the boundaries I needed to uphold these life-giving discoveries.

When to say no

To live within our capacity means becoming fluent in one word: “no.”

In today's more-is-better culture it's not common to be taught when to say “no.” But maybe that's for the better—”no” looks different for everyone. It's an intuition-based response, one that many of us have been conditioned out of.

A three-year-old utters (or yells) “no” without resistance. For a thirty-three-year-old who feels socially obligated to buy more and do more, “no” doesn't flow quite like it used to.

While it's your job to determine when “no” is the right response for you, here are five things to consider saying “no” to so to live within your capacity:

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Julia Ubbenga is a freelance journalist whose teachings on minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living have reached thousands of people worldwide through her blog. Julia also practices what she preaches in her Kansas City home. She resides with her husband, two extremely lively young daughters, three-year-old son, and baby girl. You can also find her on Instagram.