The Cut - ‘How Do I Go On Without My Loved Ones?’

I find myself alone today with my pets in a quiet space. My children are off to school. My partner is visiting their father. And yet there is no rest. Yesterday was my 36th birthday. My kids are finally of age to understand the importance of it, and I did feel celebrated. I got a text from a dear high-school friend and from my eldest child’s grandmother in Florida. The people that matter. I played myself an mp3 of my grandmother’s voice singing “Happy Birthday” to me the year before she died, 11 years ago. My kids were able to hear and say, “Wow, she really did have a heavy Spanish accent!” I thought of my father, who would have been 64 a week before my own birthday.

I guess what I’m saying is where do you find peace in a world where the majority of your loved ones have passed? They are with me always but have left a space in my heart.

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