Who saw what happened to Kevin McCarthy and said ‘that looks fun’...

Two House Republicans. Yesterday, House Majority Leader Steve Scalise (R-LA) and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) announced their bids for House Speaker. Jordan, a founding member of the House Freedom Caucus who was willing to shut down the government over aid for Ukraine, said the GOP now needs to “come together.” And with Scalise looking to take the speaker’s gavel, the House GOP could have another leadership position vacant soon. For what it’s worth, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) said he thinks “very highly” of Scalise and is willing to vote for him.

…Oh and while Republicans are hashing it out, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) won’t be able to clear her belongings out of her hideaway office. She’s in California and won’t make it before it’s rekeyed after the new speaker pro tempore kicked her out.

Who showed face and then left…

Former President Trump. Yesterday, he attended his $250 million civil fraud trial for the third day in a row and complained about being “stuck” there. He was not required to attend. He said he would rather be in Iowa, where Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis's (R) campaign is now partially based. Trump also called the attorney general who brought the case against him “corrupt” and filed an appeal to the pretrial ruling that said he committed fraud. Then, during the lunch break, Trump traveled to his Florida home. With him out of the courtroom, the AG said “the Donald Trump show is over” and that his attendance was “nothing more than a political stunt.”

…Oh and speaking of court appearances, yesterday, Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyers called him a “math nerd” during opening statements at his fraud trial. Boy math.

What’s kicking it around the world…

The 2030 men’s World Cup. Yesterday, FIFA announced the 2030 games will be hosted in six countries across three continents to celebrate the World Cup’s 100-year anniversary. The opening three matches will kick off in Uruguay, Argentina, and Paraguay. The rest of the matches will be held in Spain, Portugal, and Morocco. While airlines may be happy, climate groups are not. With just over 765,000 fans reportedly having traveled to Qatar during the first two weeks of the games this past 2022, the move could be a reversal of FIFA’s goal to cut its carbon emissions in half by 2030 and reach net zero by 2040. One advocate called it “a recipe for disaster.” FIFA has reportedly said this will be the first “fully carbon-neutral World Cup,” but didn’t say how.

Who wants you to stay sat...

Uber. Yesterday, the ride-sharing company said it’ll drop off your packages at USPS, UPS, and FedEx for a flat fee of $5 in dozens of cities. Talk about time is money.

Who's saying 'all I do is win'...

Simone Biles.

Where the plot has thickened...

“The Drew Barrymore Show.”

Who's reaching roomie status...

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater.