The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section.

Careers

CEO—REAL: Padding your resume is out, and padding your C-suite is in. The chief executive of now-collapsed crypto fund HyperVerse is allegedly not a real person. An investigation by Guardian Australia found no records of Steven Reece Lewis across various jobs and educational institutions described in HyperVerse’s promotional materials.

TREE HUGGER: This summer, competitors in Finland will face off at the fifth-annual World Tree Hugging Championships, a forest conservation effort. The freestyle round (most creative hug) is the only one we know we’d win. Our technique is a secret, but here’s a hint: upside down.

Personal

GET NOLAN A TOWEL: During a Peloton class in 2020, an instructor bashed Christopher Nolan’s film Tenet, saying, “That’s a couple hours of my life I’ll never get back again!” Nolan revealed this week that he took the class.

TRUSTS IN YOUR GUT: A seven-year-old goldendoodle named Cecil ate up $4,000 in cash his owners set on a counter in their Pittsburgh home. Cecil called it investing in himself.

For sale

NEW COSTCO TREAT: The only store that makes it fun to wander around a warehouse is rumored to be pulling churros from its food court menu and replacing them with a giant cookie. The cookie is so big, in fact, that if it became sentient, workers would have no choice but to let it control the store.

CHEAP CONDO IF EVERYONE’S COOL: An auction for a one-bedroom property in NYC’s luxury Plaza Hotel started the bidding at $1…but the price quickly skyrocketed to $2.5 million. The unit was listed by Tim Smucker, the heir to the Smucker’s jam fortune.

BOOTLEG KIM K GAME: After 10 years of delighting mobile gamers, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood will shut down in April. Players will have to settle for manufacturing drama with their iPhones some other way.—MM

Here are some illuminating scientific discoveries from the week to help you live better and maybe even win the lottery.

America’s first big offshore wind farm is up and running. A new turbine off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard started delivering electricity to the New England power grid last week, marking the kickoff of the country’s first large-scale commercial wind farm. By the end of the year, Vineyard Wind 1 aims to have 62 800-foot turbines spinning, which it says will power 400,000 homes in Massachusetts. The wind farm became the first US offshore wind initiative to receive complete federal approval back in 2021—previous projects failed to launch.

Spritz your coffee beans before grinding for more flavor. In what could be the first worthwhile bit of coffee advice that doesn’t require buying a cabinet full of gadgets, scientists concluded that you really do get a better brew by moistening the beans before you grind them. Adding just 20 microliters of water per gram of coffee, or about half a milliliter per espresso shot, makes a cup of joe stronger than it would be sans spritz, the researchers say. Why? Grinding coffee beans creates static electricity, which in turn causes grounds to get clumped up. Adding water smooths everything out by reducing static.

Mathematicians figured out how to win the lottery. Some professional number wizzes in the UK used a system called finite geometry to deduce that you’d need to buy 27 different tickets with a specific set of numbers to be guaranteed some kind of win in the country’s twice-weekly lottery. But before you run to the corner shop, be warned that there’s a 99% chance you won’t make back the $69 it would cost to buy that many drawings—you’re only guaranteed to win at least a free play, and if you’re lucky, you’d win back only about half of what you spent. On one occasion, however, one of the researchers reportedly won $2,243 by playing the 27 sets of lottery numbers the group calculated.—ML

It’s a record year for elections worldwide as citizens of over 60 countries (~4 billion people, and more than half of the global population) are set to choose regional, legislative, and national leaders in the next 12 months, according to Politico.

In many places, including the US, this year’s elections will be not only about policy but also the future of democratic institutions, as some contenders are threatening to overhaul the entire system of government. Military coups are no longer the main threat to democracy, professor Kurt Weyland, who studies democratic backsliding at the University of Texas at Austin, told Morning Brew. He says in recent years, democratically elected leaders have used their mandate “to dismantle democracy from the inside.”

Americans will lay claim to fresh “I voted” stickers in November after casting a ballot for, most likely, Joe Biden or Donald Trump. Here are some of the other buzzy elections coming up in our crisis-ridden world, where geopolitics has been named the top macroeconomic concern by investors.

Taiwan: Taiwan’s citizens will vote for their president next weekend in a contest that has monumental implications for the nation’s relationship with China, which seeks to take control of the island. The current vice president, Lai Ching-te, who is leading in the polls, promotes Taiwan’s close ties to the US and has a hardline pro-independence stance. His main opponent, Hou Yu-ih, takes a more conciliatory posture toward China.

Taiwan’s ability to avoid a confrontation with its mainland neighbor is a major prerequisite for peaceful US–China relations, as the US has promised to defend Taiwan if China invades it.

European Parliament: Europeans will head to the polls in June to fill the institution that passes EU laws and chooses the president of the European Commission. People are holding their breath to see whether far-right populist parties will make significant electoral gains as they recently have in some EU states like the Netherlands and Germany. A euroskeptic party advocating for weaker EU institutions is also up in public polling.

Centrist parties are anticipated to retain their majority in the only EU-wide governing body that’s directly elected. Though the parliament exercises limited power, and many Europeans don’t exactly know what it does, the election results can be a barometer of voters’ attitudes.

Russia: President Vladimir Putin is heading for his fifth term in an election that many independent experts view as merely an exercise in performative democracy. The vote in March will be anything but free and fair, with only Putin loyalist dummy candidates appearing on the ballot and vote count falsifications expected. But voting against Putin could be a way for Russians to show their discontent as the war in Ukraine slogs on.

India: The largest democracy in the world and the fifth-largest economy will decide whether its current prime minister, Narendra Modi, gets a third term with voting in April and May. Many pundits predict that Modi will win since his brand of religious nationalism is popular with Hindus.

Modi’s tenure has been marred by courts losing their independence, curbs placed on press freedoms, and crackdowns on opposition. His critics worry another victory could enable him to further undermine democratic institutions.

South Africa: The most prosperous country on the continent is one of 15 African nations that will head to the polls this year. Its vote in the spring will be a referendum on the governing African National Congress, the party of Nelson Mandela that spearheaded the anti-apartheid movement and has been in power since 1994. But polling shows it’s steadily lost its luster for many South Africans as the nation struggles with vast inequality, high unemployment, elevated crime, regular power outages, and government corruption.

UK (maybe): The UK is legally required to hold an election before January, 28, 2025, and there’s a good chance it’ll happen this year. The vote spells danger for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s governing Conservative (“Tory”) Party, which has been lagging greatly in the polls behind the opposition Labour Party. There’s an “overriding sense of things not working” in the economy, the director for BCG’s Center for Growth told the NYT.

Meanwhile, AI could play a major role…tech companies will be expected to moderate content across multiple countries and weed out AI-produced misinformation. Deepfakes have already disrupted the run-up to the high-stakes election taking place in Bangladesh today.—SK

Cook: On a frigid day, few things are as comforting as warm apple pie. Make this Italian version super simple by using a store-bought crust.

Read: The Caretaker, a novel set in Appalachia that explores family, belonging, and loneliness.

Listen: Indie-pop band Jukebox the Ghost has attracted a cult following for its upbeat, quirky songs.

Advice: If you’re planning to travel in 2024, consider joining the El Camino Travel Clubhouse for a forum full of elite recommendations and guides.

Watch: Society of the Snow, a survival thriller based on a true story, which is generating Oscar buzz.

Illuminate: A tiny LED lamp to brighten up any space.

Miles of rewards: These travel credit cards come with no annual fee and offer flexible, valuable miles. Rewards take flight here.*

^{*A message from our sponsor.}

It’s a big world out there. In this section, we’ll teleport you to an interesting location—and hopefully give you travel ideas in the process.

Auctions can serve as a glimpse into high society, a chance to watch the wealthy bid on luxury items such as priceless art, rare automobiles, or historical memorabilia for extraordinarily large sums of money.

But in Tokyo, millions of dollars change hands at a different type of auction you can attend as a spectator—if you’re willing to wake up early enough.

The Toyosu Market has become legendary for its tuna auction, where restaurateurs battle it out for the coveted fish between 5:30am and 6:30am. When the market opened for the auspicious New Year’s auction this Thursday, the team of seafood wholesaler Yamayuki and sushi chain operator Onodera Group paid $788,440 for a 525-pound giant bluefin tuna, the fourth-highest total on record, according to a market official.

• The record was set in 2019, when restaurant owner Kiyoshi Kimura paid $3.1 million for a tuna that weighed 613 pounds…although he expressed tuna buyer’s remorse afterward. “The tuna looks so tasty and very fresh, but I think I did too much,” Kimura told reporters.

Two options for watching the auction:

1. There is an observation deck on the first floor of the auction house with room for 27 people. Reservations must be made in advance, although there is no cost for entry.
2. The second option—which is also free—is to watch from a corridor that overlooks the auction, although attendees will get their viewing spots on a first-come, first-served basis.

Sadly, and perhaps ironically, there is no live stream for viewing the tuna festivities.—DL

Two weeks ago, we asked you to set a New Year’s resolution for someone who isn’t yourself. Here are our favorite responses:

• “For my toddler: Let’s commit to stop yelling ‘you’re not my mom!’ in public unannounced. I am, indeed, your mother.”—Abby from Minnesota
• “My dog’s resolution is to not stink. I’ve tried everything to improve his smell and I’m giving up. This is his battle now.”—Rudy from Pennsylvania
• “My cat’s resolution should be to drink the water we have in one of the four water bowls instead of drinking the water in the dirty dishes in the sink like a gremlin.”—Emily from Illinois
• “My brother needs to cap his daily Instagram sharing to five posts a day. These bathroom breaks are getting too long.”—Brennan from NYC
• “My husband’s New Year’s resolution is to get my car detailed. He took it off-roading a year ago and promised to clean it, and yet here we are. I’m holding my ground.”—Nicole from California

This week’s prompt

Niche review apps like Letterboxd (movies), Bookworm (books), and Beli (restaurants) might be the future of social media. What product or experience still needs a quality social review app?

Matty’s answer to get the juices flowing: “I need an app that pulls up a map of coffee shops in an area, and I need it to clearly tell me how many outlets are in the location, how wobbly the tables are, if I’m going to have to bug the barista for the wi-fi password, and if the scones are dry.”

Share your response here.

*Research Citation: PMID 17456621

**Based on 3rd party research of ARMRA Colostrum™: Jensen, GS, 2021.