We’re in a “pandemic of loneliness,” according to the Surgeon General, so our collective patience for St. Valentine might be at an all-time low. Still, consumers are expected to spend 25.8 billion on the holiday this year, and more and more brands are inviting the haters to the party with anti-Valentine’s Day campaigns.

• Classic candy-maker Sweethearts pretty much owns V-day, but they made a little treat for the rest of us. The “Situationships” conversation candies feature illegible messages “as blurry as your relationship.” They sold out.
• Don’t delete your break-up text just yet. You can turn it in to P.F. Chang’s for a free six-pack of dumplings all the way through National Break Up Day (Feb 21). You were already going to DoorDash those for good money. Nice.
• Shove it! Sustainable toilet-paper brand Who Gives A Crap is back again with Flush Your Ex. You can send in your crappy love letters to their production facilities to be recycled into literal TP.
• Don’t ghost when everything is falling apart. Just say it with a box of Insomnia Cookies. They’ll send your new ex a dozen classic cookies of your choice, along with a break-up note handwritten on the inside of the box. Or you can order a Goodbye Pie from Pizza Hut using their Excuse Generator.
• Feeling wild? A ton of zoos, animal shelters, and charities have really embraced the contrarian spirit. You can name your ex after a rat, a roach, or a vegetable; plaster their name on a litter box for a good cause; christen a mealworm after them; or name a soon-to-be neutered cat after them.

If you’re celebrating alone, take heart—we all kind of have the same X this year, thanks to Elon Musk. Love ya.

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Tip: Connect it to Gmail so your starred emails become tasks.

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That’s 50,000 impressions from tens of thousands of marketers.

BarkBox is known for pushing the envelope.

This cheeky “Give and Receive” campaign for Valentine’s Day, which rewarded referrals with $69 in store credit, was a perfect setup for a non-apology email. (To make it right, BarkBox will give you a benign $70 in store credit instead.)

We’d love to see their open rates.

Thanks to Barb from The Daily Carnage Facebook group for sharing!