‘How Should I Handle My Co-worker’s Unhinged Rants?’

Dear Emily,

Recently I had a phone call with a colleague, a very esteemed and intelligent person who I admired very much but had never met. (We work at different ends of our organization.) It was supposed to be an ordinary conversation — I needed the answers to a few concrete questions. But it became an extraordinary conversation because they clearly needed someone to talk to immediately and very seriously — perhaps a professional, one with advanced degrees and a prescription pad. They went on a long tirade about some imagined slight and how enraged they were, for maybe an hour. I think I handled it really poorly and I feel bad about it. I wasn’t true to myself. This person needed a bucket of cold water and I handed them a warm blankie. I didn’t want to be a target of their anger, too, and I think that’s sort of an acceptable answer, but I also think I did everyone a disservice. My question is: Did I do the wrong thing? What do I keep in my back pocket to pull out and say next time this happens?

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