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Paapa Essiedu, who broke out on screen in Michaela Coel’s HBO series I May Destroy You, is days from wrapping up The Effect’s New York run when we meet — a buzzy off-Broadway drama that starred Essiedu and A24 darling Taylor Russell as participants in a psychiatric drug trial who fall in love and question if their feelings are real or just chemicals.

The 33-year-old started going to therapy about eight years ago, five years after losing his mother to breast cancer and about a decade after his father died. “I’d had some really hard times,” he says. As essential as therapy has been in his own life, he’s quick to laugh about how men brag about it on dating apps. “In this time, we’re really like, ‘Hey, you got to do therapy, and if you don’t do therapy, you’re a f*cking philistine.’ ... It’s becoming a badge of honor in a way that it kind of takes away from [the work].”

His advice to women who encounter those types? “Swipe left.”