Ann Friedman - Bad roads make good communes

I learned the phrase “Bad roads make good communes” a few years ago in a profile of aging geodesic dome enthusiasts, and I think of it whenever I start to question my tech choices for this newsletter. Sometimes I feel like an off-grid hippie (ahem, grumpy Xennial), maintaining my creaky wooden structure after everyone else has moved into a row of shiny condos in the big city.

But one of the many joys (many!) of having a newsletter that's not on Substack is that it's not as easy to get here. If you've found your way to this newsletter and didn't run away immediately, you probably belong for the long-term. And out here in the hinterlands, we get to be stats-free. I don't care which links are most-clicked. I do not optimize subject lines. I am not on any leaderboards.

There are some qualitative data I care about, though. Namely: The state of the commune. Who are you? And what's your experience of this newsletter? So, for the first time in 5 years, I'm doing a reader survey. 

It'll take you about five minutes, it's mostly multiple-choice, and in exchange for your time, I'm offering:

• A bonus edition of the newsletter for everyone who completes the survey. (Perhaps an update about my life as a parent?)

• A chance to win one of 5 swag bags full of my favorite things. Yes, I’ll send you a care package.

• A chance to win one of 20 signed copies of Big Friendship. And I’ll personalize it for you or a friend!

Jamelle Bouie on "Civil War" and the "palpable thirst for conflict and political violence among some Americans right now." And Hannah Proctor on left-wing melancholia and the psychological suffering of political defeat.

“We keep failing to understand that our customers are kids and they don’t give a fuck.” Nicole Lipman on how Shein became inescapable.

Heather Lanier on the tight space between two mammogram plates, the short span of a singular life, the narrow window between when a baby is satisfied and when she cries for more.

Hi, I’m John and I’m an abuser. Melissa Jeltsen reports on court-mandated "batterer intervention programs." 

Wesley Morris on O.J. Simpson, a Seismic American.

Have you considered the the chocolate-chipless cookie? Ali Francis recommends them.

Mercedes Gonzales-Bazan was on NPR discussing the demise of Lil Miquela. (Re-read her essay about artificial influencers!) And more choreography from BodyVox, which created the John Deere dance vid I linked to a few weeks ago. 

Our Hotline experiment continues! Dial (323) 909-XXXX to hear a message from me and leave your own. (It's for members only right now-- join this weekend and I'll send you the full number on Monday so you can play along.) 

I've made it to URNtok.

Related: What 5 items would your friends need to summon you from the dead? Mine: a bowl of ranch dip, a really good book (whatever they're all reading at the moment and wish they could discuss with me), a deck of playing cards, my white Casio watch, and an ice-cold gin martini with three olives.

Dani says, "Thanks for teaching me the word syzygy. I love any excuse to look up a new word and hear the google voice say it out loud and in a bunch of different accents." If I'd had this tool as a child, I could have saved myself the embarrassment of pronouncing chasm with a "ch" sound for... many years.

And Zoe sent this perfect Snoopy smirk-shrug:


Reminder: I read all replies, even if I don't have time to respond. You're always welcome to send along a reaction, a related link, your two cents, etc.