In this week’s edition of Man Offers Offensive Take No One Asked For, Harrison Butker earns top billing. On the off chance your social algorithm sent you to someplace happier (lucky you), the Kansas City Chiefs kicker delivered the commencement speech at Benedictine College last weekend. Instead of praising graduates for reaching this academic milestone, Butker used the opportunity to remind female grads that their most important achievement was yet to come: becoming a “homemaker.” He didn’t stop there. In his 20-minute monologue, he also denounced abortion, IVF, Pride Month, and quoted Taylor Swift…after referring to her as his “teammate’s girlfriend.” 

Of course, Butker isn’t the first man to assert that women belong in the home (though, he’s probably made an exception for his own mother, a successful medical physicist). He may, however, be the first person to get roasted by Swifties, the LA Chargers, and basically every woman on the internet (as one Instagram commenter pointed out, “A BEAR WOULD NEVER SAY THIS”) all in the same week. Even the NFL publicly asked to be excluded from this narrative. It’s also not lost on us (or the internet) that Butker’s team, the Chiefs — not to mention, the entire National Football League — made who knows how much this past year thanks to an unmarried, child-free, 34-year-old female billionaire. We doubt the irony was lost on some of the sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, a founding sponsor of Benedictine College, who said the speech didn’t represent the college’s values. Don’t worry Butker, theSkimm’s co-founders delivered the commencement speech students deserved to hear.