Weekend: Should You Pay for Friends’ Drinks? 🍷

We asked you to vote on an etiquette question you’d like answered. The winner was:

Q: “Every time my friends and I go out to dinner, we split the bill evenly. I recently stopped drinking — which my friends know about. Am I still expected to pay the same amount as them?”

“How much of a problem is this going to cause in your friendships? Are these relationships worth pitching in an extra [$10 or $15]? If it’s an occasional meal, I say just split it, because it’s easier. [You could even] order an extra dessert or appetizer [for yourself] and call it even. 

If you are going to say something, you need to say it confidently and matter-of-factly ... [Before everyone starts placing orders], you can say, ‘Since I’m not ordering from the bar, I’m going to run a separate check.’ [You can also say], ‘My [portion of the bill] is less, so here’s what I owe’ and bring cash with you. Or, if one person is paying for everything, you can say, ‘I’ll Venmo you my portion since I didn’t drink’ … [Finally], if your friends always go out to dinner, you could suggest breakfast or lunch, or just join them for dessert. You’re going to miss a lot of the chit-chat that happens [during the meal] but at least the pricey items from the bar will have been ordered.”

Featured Expert Rosalinda Randall Etiquette expert and author of “Don’t Burp in the Boardroom: Your Guide to Handling Uncommonly Common Workplace Dilemmas”