I’m feeling really nervous about writing this newsletter today. I have been putting off doing what I am about to do for a month now but after getting a few emails from lovely readers and discussions with friends, I have realised that it’s just fear holding me back. I get a lot of emails from lovely readers and recently I have noticed a pattern of people telling me not to apologise so much in my newsletters. It was one of these emails from a reader named Diana that finally gave me the kick up the arse to do this. 

She said: “I have sensed this apologetic vibe, this uncertainty for doing what you are doing since the beginning. GIRL, STAND IN YOUR POWER! You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.”

So here goes. I am launching a paid subscription model of this newsletter. This has been a long time coming. I was originally going to do it in January when I relaunched with the new branding and then I decided it would be good to do it on the six month anniversary of starting it. Then the pandemic hit and it felt all kinds of wrong to be asking to be paid for something that I know supports people. However, as the old saying goes you can’t pour from an empty cup and it’s getting harder and harder to sustain everything I do for the newsletter without being paid. 

Before I go on, I want to be clear. This version of the newsletter, which I know so many of you love, will always be free. I repeat, this version of the newsletter will always be free. What I am going to do is ask people who can afford it to support this newsletter by becoming a subscriber. Your support will mean I can continue to provide this weekly email as well as run the flourishing Facebook community, lead weekly Zoom hangouts and do the Instagram Live Q&As. In return, you will be supporting a freelance writer to do her thing without having to wait for an editor to deem it worthy of publication (which depends so much on budget or personal taste anyway).

As a thank you to paying subscribers, I will curate one extra recommendation a week plus put out a bonus newsletter each month which will either be a Q&A like this one or I will commission a guest writer. I am also going to trial a monthly Ask Me Anything. I have other ideas but little bonuses I can provide throughout the year but I want to make sure that the main newsletter is still of good quality therefore I hope your main motivation for signing up is the warm and fuzzy feeling it will give you to know you are supporting the continuation of a newsletter you already love. 

What I’m asking for in return is £52 a year (only £1 a newsletter!) or £5 a month if you prefer to pay monthly. I know some of you are already regularly buying me a Ko-Fi (thank you!) which is £3 so this will work out cheaper. However, for those who wish, there is also a supporter level where you can choose how much you want to give. If you fit into the latter category and wish to pay for someone’s subscription who can’t afford it, you can also choose to give £104 a year and I will do the rest. 

I know that like me some of you have lost work or perhaps you have been laid off or taken a pay cut, which is why I want to provide a way of gifting subscriptions to those who are struggling right now and could use a lift. If this sounds like you, next week when I officially launch I will be providing a form for you to fill in so I can enable this. It will be on a first come first serve basis. 

Speaking of the pandemic, it really has put into perspective how much I need to do this. As I have mentioned before, I am a freelance journalist. Before the pandemic, I was already finding it difficult to prioritise work on the newsletter (and the community group and the social media channels etc etc) because as someone who is self-employed, I have to prioritise paid work. Let’s not forget I also obviously don’t have a partner to help support me and I am not from a rich background at all. There is so much more I want to do and people have been asking since this newsletter began when I will put on events and when I will launch a podcast. Realistically without some investment or support, I just can’t do these things because I don’t have time in my week or the resources for equipment or the paying of professionals to help. 

I was feeling all these things before the pandemic hit and now I am losing work and constantly on the hustle for more, it has made me realise just how important this newsletter is to me. I would love to pay myself a day rate for one days work a week so I can do the newsletter justice. You may have noticed a few things slip – I haven’t run the book club properly, I haven’t got round to choosing a winner for the competition I launched (mainly because I haven’t had time to find a suitable prize!) and I haven’t been able to devote as much time to social media channels. Instagram in particular is a place I would love to do more as it’s my favourite app but it requires time to create pictures for the grid and do interesting things on stories. 

This is not a sob story. It’s more that I feel this newsletter has so much potential and it’s frustrating that I haven’t been able to reach it. That frustration is mainly at myself. I beat myself up for not spending my evenings creating images on Canva or for getting the newsletter out late because I really needed a day away from the screen on Saturdays. With your support I wouldn’t have to stress about this as I would have a dedicated day to work on the newsletter and still have time off to rest and recuperate. 

Anyway, thanks so much for reading this far. Next Sunday I will officially launch the model and you can choose to sign up, fill in the form to get a gifted subscription if you are in financial dire straits and needing something to cheer you up or you can do nothing and continue to read this newsletter every week as normal. Whatever you decide to do, it would be amazing if you could shout about this newsletter on social media or email your friends and tell them why you love it.

Stay safe everyone, 

Nicola 

Twitter: @TheSingleSupp | Instagram: @TheSingleSupplement

What caught my attention

Why I Chose To Have A Baby With A Sperm Donor

I loved this article because I haven’t read many articles by black women about being a single mother and I definitely haven’t read any about being a single mother by choice (through use of a sperm donor. This paragraph stood out because I wondered how much the media is responsible for making women believe they can’t go it alone or that they are going to somehow harm their future children by doing so: “I come from a two-parent family and was intimidated by the idea of being a single mother because films and TV shows made it look so hard. At the time there was also a lot of bad press around the impact of “absent fathers” and I worried that I would be doing my child a disservice by depriving them of an involved dad.

I never wanted to get married. Now I'm alone in a pandemic

I came across this article by accident and was thrilled to learn I am mentioned in it! I think a lot of readers will relate to some of the points she makes. This paragraph jumped out at me: “With gatherings and visits restricted, for me and doubtless many other single women, solo status and life choices are thrown into stark relief. For some, this will be a time of reflection, even regret. For all the potential irritations, would it be better to be sharing this, to have settled for Mr (or Ms) Second-Best? My answer is no, but some women won’t be so certain – and not just older women.”

Alonement Covid-19 special: Eric Klinenberg

I am totally behind with podcasts because in my normal life, they are what I listen to when I’m cooking and now when I try that one or both of my parents inevitably come in for a chat and I have to turn it off. Anyway, I managed to listen to this one and thought a lot of you might find it interesting. Host Francesca Specter interviews Eric Klinenberg, sociologist and author of 'Going Solo', about how our attitudes towards solitude might shift in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic. He also discusses how romantic relationships may change. 

The lowdown 

• I was interviewed for this article about living with my parents. In it I gave my top tips for quarantining back home with parents. Full disclosure, my mum and I had the mother of all rows just hours after this article was published, which did give me a laugh but hopefully it’s helpful anyway. Side note Francesca who I mention above was also asked to provide tips on isolating alone for the same column.

• I have recently been interviewed for two podcasts. One of which I believe is out tomorrow so I will share on social media so do make sure you’re following me on Twitter and Instagram. The other will be out in a few weeks. 

• This week’s community hang out is set up. I’ve created a facebook event for those who find it easier to help them manage their calendars. Here is the direct Zoom link.

• This afternoon at 5pm, I will do my weekly Instagram live. Today it will just be me and I will be answering your questions about what I’m launching next week. You can reply to this email with questions or ask live in the comments under the video.

• I have just started reading Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo again after finding it difficult to concentrate on because of the pandemic (not because it’s hard to get into at all). How is everyone getting on? I would love to do the bookclub by video chat. I’ll share a Zoom link next Sunday so get reading if you haven’t finished! 

Heroine of the week

Those who joined my sister and I last week will have already met Ruby, my parents’ puppy but I wanted to share her here too as she is my heroine this week for making me laugh and giving me much needed cuddles. 

About me

For those who don’t know, I’m Nicola Slawson, a freelance journalist who lives in London, UK. I don’t get paid to do this newsletter yet, but if you enjoyed it and would like to buy me a coffee, you can. 

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