Are you being gaslighted? How to spot it and stop it

Are you being gaslighted? How to spot it and stop it | practice (split each time) | Look for these factors if your team seems distracted
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August 12, 2024
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Leading the Way
Are you being gaslighted? How to spot it and stop it
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If a boss or colleague has ever denied making a promise or deliberately withholds information or shifts blame to you for something they did, they could be gaslighting you, write Saima Ahmad and Melissa Wheeler, who recommend keeping detailed records of all interactions, setting boundaries and seeking the support of other colleagues or human resources if it persists. "You are not responsible for the perpetrator's behavior, but you can empower yourself to reclaim your sanity and work in a healthier environment," they write.
Full Story: Psychology Today (8/7) 
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Put it into practice: Leaders can seek to end gaslighting at a policy level by educating teams on how to spot it and respond to it and setting clear consequences for those engaged in it, write Ahmad and Wheeler. "It's important to remember that gaslighting is a form of abuse."
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Look for these factors if your team seems distracted
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Frequent meetings, interruptions by co-workers, noise, stress and multitasking may be distracting your team and preventing them from performing at their best, writes executive coach Naphtali Hoff. Leaders should seek to remove distractions as much as possible and realize that other factors, such as personal problems or an uncomfortable work environment, may also cause disengagement.
Full Story: SmartBrief/Leadership (8/9) 
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Put it into practice: Factors such as thirst, hunger or fatigue can also impact your team's engagement and productivity, Hoff notes, so encouraging well-being is critical. "Recognizing and addressing these distractions can help improve productivity and create a more focused and efficient work environment."
Read more from Naphtali Hoff on SmartBrief on Leadership
Smarter Communication
A handwritten thank-you note may seem quaint, but as Sally Susman, the executive vice president and chief corporate affairs officer at Pfizer, writes, it has the power to transform relationships, especially if it is heartfelt, highlights a specific moment that had an impact on you and conveys a generous insight for the recipient. "In the age of email and 280-character proclamations, thank-you notes are tiny reminders of the limitless potential and power of acting graciously," Susman writes.
Full Story: Harvard Business Review (tiered subscription model) (8/8) 
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Put it into practice: Be sure and recognize the contributions of those who may often be overlooked, such as janitorial or low-level staffers, Susman advises. It's never too late to send that thank-you, Susman adds, as long as you apologize for being tardy and then express your true feelings of gratitude.
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When faced with a decision, don't make choices based on what could go wrong, writes Josh Spector, who advises you to think about what can go right, realize you can make adjustments if things go sideways and trust that others will support you. More often than not, "people rise or fall to the expectations you place on them," Spector notes, and if you expect the best, people will most often come through.
Full Story: Josh Spector (8/6) 
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Daily Diversion
Turkey site's carvings may be 10K-year-old calendar
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A methodical arrangement of V-shaped marks, a bird of prey figure and the "V" symbol worn around its neck on 10,000-year-old carvings on a pillar in the Gobekli Tepe in Turkey may be the oldest calendar ever created, according to a study in Time and Mind. Researcher Martin Sweatman theorizes that the tracking of time, which may also have documented cosmic events, may have been a very early predecessor of writing.
Full Story: ScienceAlert (Australia) (8/8) 
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Yellowstone National Park might seem expansive (you been?), but there are others that are larger. Which of these national parks is biggest?
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Editor's Note
Attention leaders with an interest in AI!
We are seeking speakers who are willing to share their experience transforming workflows, teams and enterprises with AI in an upcoming event where we will explore the future of work in the age of AI. This won't be a technical event, so keep your leadership hat on. We're looking for insights into how AI is transforming work today and (more importantly) tomorrow in an effort to arm leaders to make the most of the AI opportunity. Your perspective can address strategy, HR, change management, mitigating risk and more.

If this sounds like you, please send an email with your name, LinkedIn profile and a few sentences describing how AI is moving your team forward and the process you went through to get where you are today.
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About The Editor
Candace Chellew
Candace Chellew
Chellew
We hear a lot about the concept of gaslighting these days, but back when I was in my second radio job, I had no idea what it was. As I reflect, I realize my immediate boss was a gaslighter. He would often withhold vital information from me so I would end up looking stupid in front of higher management and would deliberately hide one of my paychecks somewhere in the building and force me to look for it. He thought it was funny! (Pro tip: Messing with people's money is not funny.)

I've never been happier to leave a job, and it's true what they say that people leave managers and not jobs. I was not the only person who left that radio station over this manager's terrible treatment. The sad thing is that he's still working at that station to this day.

I would have loved to have had the advice Melissa Wheeler and Saima Ahmad offer. I would have documented each time this "manager" left me in the dark or played hide-and-seek with my money and perhaps sought support from my more senior managers. Instead, I found another job, which was the best thing for me because, ultimately, leaving propelled my career forward.

So, perhaps I owe him a thank-you note.

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My favorite definition of ageism is that it's prejudice against our future selves.
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