Satisfying: Opening your bag or purse and finding a $20 bill you forgot about. Potentially life-altering: Opening the same bag or purse and finding a cutting-edge device designed to diagnose and correct hearing impairment.

The latter scenario will become commonplace this fall after the FDA approved Apple’s Hearing Aid software update for AirPods Pro 2. It marks the first time the agency has authorized over-the-counter hearing aid software. The FDA began allowing OTC hearing aids in 2022, in a bid to bring down prices and increase access. But now, potential stigma can be replaced by a status symbol.

Apple plans to roll out the tech to users in 100 countries. The new suite of features will allow AirPods Pro 2 users to:

• Take a five-minute hearing test.
• Adjust sound balance, amplification, and tone in response to the results.
• Chart levels of hearing impairment over time.

Apple will also release a separate Hearing Protection feature for the AirPods Pro 2 to ensure users aren’t overexposed to ululation, but promises concerts won’t be completely ruined because the settings will keep the music “sounding natural and vibrant.”

A heads-up: No other Apple earbuds or headphones will get this feature. Users should be 18 years old to activate the Apple Hearing Aid capabilities, and only if they have mild-to-moderate hearing loss. AirPods Pro 2 earbuds last about six hours on a single charge, so they won’t work for all-day hearing assistance.

Some health tech experts consider battery life the limiting factor when comparing the AirPods Pro 2 to the over-the-counter hearing assistance devices that don’t come in a distinct white box everyone’s afraid to throw out.

While a pair of AirPods Pro 2 may be significantly cheaper ($249) than many competitors on the market (which range from $99 to $7,000, according to NPR), use of the Hearing Aid features will also require an iPhone or an iPad that can run iOS 18 (those released around 2020 or later).—HVL

Second Trump assassination attempt foiled; former president is safe. The FBI announced yesterday afternoon that it was “investigating a protective incident” involving Donald Trump at his golf course in West Palm Beach, FL. Sheriff Ric Bradshaw gave a news briefing in which he said the Secret Service agent patrolling “one hole ahead” of former President Trump saw a rifle barrel sticking out of the bushes toward the course and “immediately engaged that individual.” The suspect fled, but a witness was able to photograph the vehicle he escaped in, which led to his arrest. An AK-47-style rifle and a GoPro camera were recovered from the scene. Afterward, Trump sent an email to his mailing list saying, “I AM SAFE AND WELL” and “I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!”

JD Vance repeated false claims about Haitian migrants eating pets. The running mate of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said during an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash on Sunday that he received “firsthand accounts from my constituents,” even though the claims of eating dogs and cats had already been debunked by Springfield, OH, officials. When pressed by Bash, Vance said, “If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what I’m going to do.” Ohio Governor Mike DeWine, a Republican, condemned the claims Sunday, saying, “This is a piece of garbage that is simply not true.”

Shōgun dominated the Emmys. FX’s saga about feudal Japan took home trophies for best drama, best actor in a drama, and best actress in a drama, racking up 18 total Emmys for the most awards by a show in a single year. The biggest surprise of the night: The Max series Hacks won best comedy over The Bear, which had already stirred controversy over its inclusion in the comedy category. As Eugene Levy, who hosted the show with his son Dan, quipped in the opening monologue, “In the true spirit of The Bear, we will not be making any jokes.” John Oliver also dropped an F bomb when music played him offstage as he was honoring his family’s dead dog.

Huge news: Indeed and Business Insider teamed up to launch somethin’ truly spectacular—The Better Work Project.

Dedicated to helping HR pros unpack emerging tech like AI and ML, economic challenges, and Gen Z’s new perspectives, The Better Work Project is pretty much a business leader’s grail.

It’s filled with tons of golden nuggets that’ll get people ops excited, such as:

• thought leadership editorials from their Workforce Innovation Board
• workforce trend feature interactives
• insightful articles on the challenges surrounding the new world of work

Sound like a lot to sift through? Don’t fret: It’s all centralized in one easy-to-navigate destination, so you won’t have to endlessly scroll to find whatcha need.

Jump headfirst into The Better Work Project.

Have you ever wondered if some mammals can breathe through their anuses? Of course you haven’t—and that’s why you’ve never won an Ig Nobel Prize.

The annual satirical awards, handed out last week at MIT, went to those in the scientific community “that first make people laugh, and then make them think” with wacky breakthroughs and discoveries.

The winners of this year’s Ig Nobel Prizes, which are not affiliated with the original Nobel, include:

• A physics prize, which went to a professor for his study on the swimming ability of dead trout.
• A probability prize, which was awarded to researchers who learned a coin flip is not a 50/50 proposition.
• A peace prize, which was posthumously bestowed upon B.F. Skinner for his study on the feasibility of housing pigeons inside missiles in order to guide them.

There can be serious applications. The researchers of the butt-breathing study concluded this could be a way to get oxygen to critically ill humans unable to use or gain access to ventilators or artificial lungs.

No one is in this for the money. While the monetary prize for the actual Nobel is ~$1 million at today’s exchange rate, the Ig Nobel hands out an obsolete Zimbabwean $10 trillion bill that’s currently selling for $22 on eBay.—DL

Death threats have made Elon Musk take his personal safety more seriously. Per the New York Times, the Tesla CEO travels with upward of 20 security personnel—which has drawn comparisons to a miniature Secret Service detail charged with guarding a head of state. And that protection doesn’t come cheap—according to Tesla filings, the company paid $2.4 million to cover a portion of that protection last year. Between 2015 and 2018, Musk spent an average of $145,000 per month on security, according to invoices viewed by the NYT. How does that compare to other companies? Apple spent $820,000 to cover CEO Tim Cook last year; Amazon pays $1.6 million per year to guard founder Jeff Bezos. None of that compares to Meta, which shelled out $23.4 million last year to protect Mark Zuckerberg, according to the NYT.

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The time has come for the Fed to make the cut: Everyone is in agreement that JPow will cut interest rates for the first time since 2020 after the Fed’s two-day meeting concludes on Wednesday, but will he trim a little off the top or go for something more drastic? The market appears to see the chances of a quarter-point cut and a half-point cut as equally likely. Cutting rates by a quarter-point had been the expectation, but analysts feel the Fed is behind on rate cuts and will consider the half-point cut due to signs of a slowing labor market in recent months.

The battle for Rupert Murdoch’s empire begins today: The 93-year-old mogul wants to alter a succession plan to ensure that his family’s conservative newspapers and television networks will continue to be run solely by his eldest boy, Lachlan, upon his death, per the New York Times. The trust currently calls for Lachlan and three siblings, who are more politically moderate, to inherit right-wing media outlets. Rupert reportedly wants to cut out the other three and leave Lachlan in charge, thus protecting the conservative slant and commercial value of those media entities.

Arguments to begin today in the US government’s case to ban TikTok: The DOJ is ready to prove that the social media platform that once had people making NyQuil chicken is a threat to national security and must divest. There’s one interesting caveat in the First Amendment case—the DOJ doesn’t want to show the defendant its evidence due to it being classified, arguing that saying why TikTok is a threat would be a threat in itself. If ByteDance, the Chinese-owned parent company of TikTok, doesn’t win its case, it would have to sell TikTok or effectively be banned in the US.

Everything else…

• A public hearing into the loss of OceanGate’s Titan submersible will be convened by the US Coast Guard today. It will be livestreamed.
• The Penguin, an eight-episode series that’s a spinoff of The Batman, premieres on HBO and Max on Thursday night. It’s currently sitting at 93% on Rotten Tomatoes.
• Today is Mexican Independence Day. Learn about the holiday here.
• Sunday marks the first day of autumn. As if you haven’t been drinking pumpkin spice lattes for weeks.