‘Why Does My Boyfriend Always Choose His Friends Over Me?’

Dear Emily,

My boyfriend loves when I spend time with my friends. He always encourages me to see them as often as I please. Which I appreciate — I love spending time with my friends, too. The issue is that he doesn’t seem to care about spending quality time with me.

In the two years we have been together, I can count on one hand the amount of dates he has planned or initiated. We have never been on a trip together just the two of us. We rarely do activities together. We live together but have very different schedules, and he considers spending time together to be the brief moments we have sitting on the couch or sleeping in the same bed. He shows love in other ways — like cooking dinner, cleaning our apartment, taking care of our dog, leaving me little gifts in fun places around the apartment — but more in small whimsical ways than the bigger ways I need. I am now at the point of doubting myself and wondering if the problem is me. Am I making too big a deal out of this?

Coming off of yesterday’s eclipse, Saturn, currently traveling through Pisces and directly facing Mercury in Virgo, will help you see what’s not working in your life and relationships. Prepare to feel clear-eyed and unsentimental and ready to make difficult, potentially unpopular, but necessary decisions. But no matter how resolved you feel, consider waiting, at least a day or two, before taking action on your new insights. Read your horoscope.

Having trouble keeping up with all the investigations surrounding the mayor? Here’s a handy guide. For the first time, five out of six authors on the 2024 Booker Prize shortlist are women. Abortion boats were never real. Americans can finally renew their passports online. Governor Andy Beshear signed an executive order banning conversion therapy in Kentucky. Excitement about Rapamycin, a drug that could extend fertility for women, is premature. These foods fight inflammation. Alana Hadid got engaged, and it looks like she’s got an Infinity Stone on her ring finger. And everyone is agreed: We’d like to stop spending so much money on other people’s weddings.

Sign up to get Brooding, a subscriber-only newsletter interrogating modern family life, written by Kathryn Jezer-Morton.