Note - this week’s intro is about the election and everything I’m feeling about it. If you don’t want to read that, just scroll on down to the Wrap.

When I sat down to write this intro, I couldn't decide if I wanted to despair or rage. The conversations I have in my head are all over the place. In many ways, I'm feeling every stage of grief at once.

​There are moments I'm numb and I feel utterly detached from reality. There are moments I'm scared which has lead me to make plans to fortify against the coming tempest. There are moments I'm so sad I can't do anything but cry and hold on as the waves of heartbreak roll through me. There are moments of white hot anger. I want to blame everyone and everything that led us to this point. I want to scream from the top of my lungs, throw things against the wall, and march straight up to the Capitol and give them a verbal dose of my wrath. Then an eerie calm comes over me. You can't sustain those heavy emotions for long. It's too exhausting.

But that's what has me most afraid. Everything that has happened now feels all too common. And we can't let it feel that way. We can't yield without a fight against the oncoming storm.

As a DC resident, I have a lot at risk. We do not have statehood. We do not have voting representation in Congress. Our laws are reviewed by Congress. When that Congress is Republican, they treat us as a hostile enemy and enact policies on our city that we, its residents, do not want. They use the District as a guinea pig to see what they can get away with. In a worst case scenario, they can even revoke our Home Rule, impose a control board, and run things as they want. 

My literal health and job are at risk. 

I had my IUD replaced on Friday. That was three years early, but there is a legitimate risk that I lose access to birth control. I'm making a list of all the vaccines I need to get at my next appointment in case my access to those is removed.  My husband and I are talking about what happens if I lose my job. I work in an academic library for a public University. An HBCU no less. Funding for higher ed AND libraries is on the chopping block. (If you thought the current book bans were bad...) In a city that may have no control over its own funds, my University could be forced to close. And, I'm renewing my passport just in case. 

This was not the to do list Kamala Harris was talking about, but it's the to do list I now have. 

But I refuse to capitulate to what is coming. Too often, we concede to make things easier in the hope that maybe, just maybe, that will be enough. But when we give an inch, we set a precedent. I am not setting that precedent. As a white woman with means, I am going to use my privilege to stem as much of the tide as I can.

I am not giving in without a fight. 

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I should be nearing the end of House of Earth and Blood by now. It's a romantasy. I normally fly through those. Instead, I'm stuck at 240 pages. Between the extensive world-building and real life existential dread followed by despair of the past week, I am unable to focus on reading. Technically, this was due back to the library on Friday. But I need something to hold onto to keep me tethered to reading right now. If I don't keep trying, I might never stop crying. Maas was my comfort read during the early months of parenting. Hopefully, she'll get me through the coming dark times.

*Books shared here are affiliate links for Bookshop.org

• This about sums up how I feel. [Graphic Rage]

• I'm still numb, but the rage will hit. And then we will fight back. [Abortion, Every Day]

• The deverbing of Google. [Business Insider - free archive.ph link​]

• We need to go on our own hero's journey. [The Atlantic - gift link]

• The queer history of Riis beach. [99% Invisible]

• LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK - Immigrants grow the job market. [Good on Paper]

• A good look at why historical research includes filling in the gaps. [Noble Blood]

• Timely tips for mixing friendship and politics. [How to Be Fine]

• Family looks like more than one thing. [This American Ex-Wife]

• Blackhat is somewhat early Chris Hemsworth flick. He's almost unrecognizable at first. I thought this movie was just okay. The plot is overly complicated and in need of an editor. They could have cut out about 30 minutes of unnecessary, B-roll footage. The graphics showing the hacking were kind of cool and narratively well designed. [Netflix]

• The husband is in a horror mood. I don't like horror all that much. We compromised and watched the comedy-horror Blood Fest. I went in with zero expectations which led this to be better than expected. To fully get the jokes, you need to know the classic horror movie tropes. A few things went over my head, but the rest of it was enjoyable. It's gory, but in the over-the-top comedic way.  [Amazon Prime]

• Despite how abnormally warm it's been in DC, it is fall. I wanted to force some cozy vibes so I made vegetable skillet pot pie. We cheat a bit to speed things up and use canned biscuits. Instead of cooking them in the skillet, I bake them on a sheet pan. I find that they fully cook that way. [Budget Bytes]

• We're trying to get our kiddo to eat more "mommy-daddy" food. To do that, I'm making recipes we can sell to her as spin-offs of food she does like. That meant the kielbasa in the sheet pan kielbasa, potatoes, and green beans were called "big hot dogs." She didn't quite buy it, but she did end up eating a few pieces. Turns out, we were out of steak seasoning which was a bummer. I just used salt and pepper but I think a sprinkle of everything bagel seasoning may have worked too. [Budget Bytes]

This is a week I needed to be reminded of the beauty in the world. [@tom_juenemann]

If you, like me, have concerns about preparing for the worst, this thread from Rahaeli on Bluesky is a good place to start.

I’m presenting at a work conference this week. I have a feeling, in a room full of librarians, all of our sessions are going to turn into group therapy sessions.