✨ Micro-dosing hope + joy when it’s all going off the rails

Hi Reader, 

Three weeks after the U.S. election, and I’m still feeling low on words. 

I apologize for not having written in a while - I postponed the 11/4 letter because I figured it would get lost in all of the pre-election hubbub, and then once the results came out, I was feeling devastated and a bit lost. 

Also, I'm really good at overthinking, so it took a while to form the words below. 

I keep intending to share about my piano practice routine (and how you can craft a routine of your own), but sometimes more immediately relevant things come up!

You could probably guess at my views, but I’m going to be really clear - I do not support Trump and what he stands for. I’ve been alternating between sadness, anger, and fear at how many people his policies will hurt, and feeling ignited by a need to do more good for my communities.

I say this not to stoke divisiveness, but because I know that he poses threats to so many different groups of people, and this may make it so that you want to know where others stand, and whether this is a safe place on the internet for you.

If you wonder why I have to “get political” - everything is political. (More on “the personal is political” here if you want to read more.)

If you don’t agree with me, and this makes it so you no longer want to be here, I wish you the best. I feel it’s important to offer you my truth and authenticity at this (and every) moment, so I had to acknowledge the moment that we’re in.

That being said, let’s talk about staying in touch with your creativity even when it’s tough to do so.

Perhaps you’ve also been finding it really hard to focus on work of any kind lately, even the creative kind which you’re “supposed to” want to be doing and enjoying.

Right after the election, I kept seeing this Leonard Bernstein quote being reposted:

“It is the artists of the world, the feelers and the thinkers who will ultimately save us; who can articulate, educate, defy, insist, sing and shout the big dreams.”

On one hand, yes, awesome, that sounds inspiring, and yes, artists have often shaped the way we look at the world, for the better. Let’s for sure share our big dreams, and if you feel encouraged to create in response, absolutely!

But, hang on, we artists, thinkers, and feelers now have to save the world, on top of normal life exhaustion and also existential dread?!

I also want to normalize the whole range of reactions and the need for rest.

We’re sensitive and we need processing time, some of us have mental health struggles, so this pressure is potentially not super helpful, like the “inspiring” posts early in the pandemic which encouraged artists to use “all of this free time” to create their magnum opus. We’re just living through an unprecedented global crisis, no pressure!

All of this to say, unusual times may call for unusual amounts of self care. 

If that means taking a break from creative stuff because you’re not feeling it, that’s fine, you’ll come back to it soon / when it’s important.

The day after the election, I played a little bit of piano for catharsis, but in the evening I chose to go “full potato”, meaning that I not only matched the activity level of a potato, but ate some, too. 🥔

We get to care for ourselves by meeting what needs arise moment to moment. This may be pounding out a samba on the piano (👋) or it may be eating a lot of hash browns.

You may be cycling through many different feelings and moods, which can be exhausting. I personally don’t derive a lot of creative energy from angst.

You might feel that your relationship with your creativity is changing (see this podcast episode from early COVID times for a little relationship advice)

There may be moments where you feel you need to convince yourself that your art and your creativity matters at all, because so many huge other things are happening.

Then there also may be moments when you feel sure that music and art matters more than ever!

All of this is normal and okay - as humans our feelings and moods fluctuate and we have to ride the waves, it’s just that sometimes the waves get much larger.

A few things I’ve been leaning into that are helping me cope in These Times™:

• More little treats, but generally balancing healthy food with comfort food
• Prioritizing sleep (my mental health really depends on it)
• Taking faster and longer walks when I feel anxious
• Staying informed via sources that feel more grounding than alarmist (as much as possible!), especially Rebecca Solnit, Heather Cox Richardson, and Dan Rather
• Developing a more complex understanding of the word “hope” (see Rebecca Solnit’s book Hope in the Dark) 
• Taking breaks from social media, doomscrolling and screens
• Doing more puzzles
• Leaning into the opportunities to make music in person, together, and enjoying being present in that
• Micro-dosing hope and joy wherever possible (credit to Brené Brown for this terminology) 

We have to keep replenishing our energy so that it’s sustainable to keep engaging in the world and taking the action that’s meaningful to each of us. 

It all comes back to community and doing good in our own little worlds.

Practicing and sharing your creativity is a huge way to positively impact your community, as well as a way to lift your own spirits so that you have energy to move forward.

On that note, here’s another quote that’s been helping me:

“Another day, another opportunity to make the world a better, more joyous, safer, and welcoming place for all. Pretty cool that we each get to decide what to do with that.”

- Carter Lavin, Oakland climate activist

Thanks for making it this far through a longer-than-usual letter, and since it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow, I also have to say:

I’m so grateful that you’re a part of my community, thank you for reading, and we’re all in this together! 💗

🕸️ Staying on the good side of the internet 🕸️

• List-making for hard times by Nic Antoinette  - Most of Nic’s Substack posts are for subscribers only (and it’s the only one I currently pay for!) but this one is helpful and open to all.

• Once Again for the First Time by Jovino Santos Neto, on living through 25 years of Brazil’s military government

  “I am telling this story to remind myself and all my subscribers that in times of extreme restriction of liberties, music can not only blossom and thrive, but it can be a crucial instrument of change and connection among humans.”

• Free resources from Beth Pickens - I am excited to dig into these e-books about making art in tough times.