STEFANO BOSCUTTI - “OMNIPUBLIC” (SHORT STORY)

Two advertising giants eye each other across the shimmering canyons of New York.

One giant will swallow the other whole, and a hundred thousand souls hang in the balance.

“Omnipublic” is an advertising short story about desperation and ambition.

What happens when an industry that sells dreams forgets how to dream?

What happens when everything becomes a nightmare?

1,000 words / 4 minutes of terse reading pleasure

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‘All the courageous statements made by the advertising industry could be inscribed on a 5-milligram Dexamyl tablet.’ Howard Gossage

STEFANO BOSCUTTI

OMNIPUBLIC

Copyright 2024 Stefano Boscutti
All Rights Reserved

NEW YORK, December 9, 2024 – Omnicom (NYSE: OMC) and The Interpublic Group of Companies, Inc. (NYSE: IPG) (“Interpublic”) today announced their Boards of Directors have unanimously approved a definitive agreement pursuant to which Omnicom will finally acquire Interpublic in a stock-for-stock transaction.

The combined company will bring together the industry’s deepest bench of marketing talent (which will soon be unmercifully slashed), and the broadest and most innovative services and products, driven by the most advanced sales and marketing platform (because we desperately want to position this new behemoth as a technology play rather than an advertising cluster fuck).

Together, the companies will expand their capacity to create comprehensive full-funnel solutions that deliver better outcomes for the world’s most sophisticated clients because who the hell in marketing doesn’t love a funnel. And if you love a funnel, surely a full-funnel is a marriage made in heaven.

Under the terms of the agreement, Interpublic shareholders will receive 0.344 Omnicom shares for each share of Interpublic common stock they own. Following the close of the transaction, Omnicom shareholders will own 60.6% of the combined company and Interpublic shareholders will own 39.4%, on a fully diluted basis. The transaction is expected to generate annual cost synergies of $750 million (see the line above about unmercifully slashing employees - yes, it’s going to be a bloodbath).

The new Omnipublic will have over 100,000 expert interns who may or may not be paid. The company will deliver end-to-end services across media, precision marketing (that’s right, precision marketing - mainly because performance marketing became a bit of a misnomer faster than anyone expected), CRM, data, digital commerce, advertising, healthcare, public relations and branding. The new Omnipublic is committed to never using the word creative in any communications. While the phrase artificial intelligence will be used in every media release for the next three years.

‘This strategic acquisition creates significant value for both sets of shareholders and especially me by combining world-class, highly complementary data and technology platforms enabling new offerings to better serve our clients and drive growth,’ said John Wren, Chairman & CEO of Omnicom. ‘Through this combination, we are poised to accelerate innovation and harness the significant opportunities created by new technologies in this era of exponential change by over-explaining everything in overly-lengthy sentences. Now is the perfect time to bring together our technologies, capabilities, talent and geographic footprints to bring clients superior, data-driven outcomes. Oh, and the PR team has told me to say that we are excited to welcome Philippe and the entire Interpublic team to the Omnicom family.’

‘This combination represents a tremendous strategic opportunity for our stakeholders, amplifying our investments in platform - there’s that word again - capabilities and talent as part of a more expansive network,’ said Philippe Krakowsky, Interpublic’s CEO. ‘Our two companies have highly complementary offerings, geographic presence and cultures. By joining Omnicom, we are creating a uniquely comprehensive portfolio of services that will make us the most powerful marketing and sales partner in a world that’s changing at speed. No, I’m not sure what that means but it sounds good, right?’

The transaction is expected to accretive to adjusted earnings per share for both Omnicom and Interpublic shareholders. Omnipublic will have an attractive pro forma financial profile:

Omnicom will continue its practice for use of free cash flow: dividends, acquisitions and share repurchases

Both Omnicom and Interpublic will maintain their current quarterly dividend through the closing of the transaction

The stock-for-stock transaction is expected to be tax-free to both Omnicom and Interpublic shareholders and is expected to close in the second half of 2025, subject to Omnicom and Interpublic shareholder approvals, required regulatory approvals, and other customary conditions.

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Copyright 2024 Stefano Boscutti

All Rights Reserved

The moral rights of the author are asserted.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, digital, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or copying and pasting, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing.

No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems.

Stefano Boscutti acknowledges the trademark owners of various products referenced in this work. The publication or use of these trademarks is not authorised or sponsored by the trademark owner.

This is a work of fiction. While many of the characters portrayed here have counterparts in the life and times of John Wren, Philippe Krakowsky and others, the characterisations and incidents presented are totally the products of the author’s sharp imagination. This work is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It should not be resold or given away. Thank you for your support. (Couldn’t do it without you.)

Discover novels, screenplays, short stories and more by Stefano Boscutti at boscutti.com