Welcome all to the inaugural Funny Money newsletter! 

We barely survived another election season, and no matter who you voted for, there was one clear winner - Gold! 

We put together some talk about humanity’s prettiest commodity during a time of huge economic shifts so you can work this tried-and-true investment into your portfolio.

BBC: Bulk Bullion Craze

TLDR: In a sign of the times, Costco shoppers are now hoarding gold bars as if they were Kirkland-brand toilet paper during the pandemic, pointing to a rising distrust in traditional money.

Dollars and Cents

Gold is the new black.  In our increasingly dystopian reality, a gold bar could sit next to 10 pounds of ground beef and an 85-inch TV in your cart.  Due to geopolitical tensions, loss of faith in the economy, and how good it looks in a Cuban link chain, gold is seeing huge increases. Regardless of this precious metal's investment potential, we will undoubtedly see even more shady Cash 4 Gold stores popping up on the outskirts of town.

California Gold Rush Reboot

TLDR: California “White Gold” sounds like a strain of sativa you’d find in one of their dispensaries, but it actually refers to a giant deposit of lithium sitting at the bottom of the Sultan Sea, a Californian lake.

Dollars and Cents

Do you even “lith” bro? Control over the lithium supply will only become more critical in our increasingly technological future.  Lithium is not just an amazing Nirvana song but the material powering the rechargeable batteries in everything from computers to coffee mugs.  Decreasing our reliance on lithium from China and other competing nations, this unearthed deposit is the largest stash of lithium found in America since the DEA invaded my underground schizophrenia clinic.

Chart of the Week

This graph looks similar to my anxiety level over the last year but actually shows the last 12 months of gold prices in US dollars per gram.

Wealth has perks, like free box seats at MSG

It’s hard to be impressed using an app to invest. Cool, my uncle does that, too. However, access is pretty badass, especially if you can share it with friends.

Titan offers what you should expect with wealth—access. They provide free premium event tickets, free tax prep, and a personal concierge who can get you seats at hard-to-book restaurants.

All of that is in addition to their solid investment strategies. And at 0.20%, they’re low-fee to boot!

Best part? LMM fans get full access for a month at no cost.

I recommend looking at their Flagship fund, which invests in tech and large high-growth companies. It’s done over 32% this year, while the S&P 500 has only done 26%.

Why spend money to get access when you can build wealth and gain access with Titan?

Get treated like the wealthy investor you are.

China’s Got Gold Outside of the Olympics

TLDR: Not to be outdone by California, China found a cave with potentially 1,000 tons of gold, which is enough to meet the Italian-American gold chain demand for 3-5 years.

Dollars and Cents 

A Chinese Golden Cave Dive isn’t just a secret menu item from a massage parlor. Geological discoveries of epic proportions have recently happened in many corners of the globe. The massive caches are being found with improved technology and AI, helping geologists locate these resources without digging first. Huge discoveries like these can make big waves in the global economy, and we are only just scratching the surface, hoping to find even more of these necessary resources right underneath our feet.

“Gold is money. Everything else is credit.” 

-John Pierpont Morgan Sr.

Savvy Investors Know Where to Get Their News—Do You?

Here’s the truth: there is no magic formula when it comes to building wealth.

Much of the mainstream financial media is designed to drive traffic, not good decision-making. Whether it’s disingenuous headlines or relentless scare tactics used to generate clicks, modern business news was not built to serve individual investors.

Luckily, we have The Daily Upside. Created by Wall Street insiders and bankers, this fresh, insightful newsletter delivers valuable insights that go beyond the headlines.

And the best part? It’s completely free. Join 1M+ readers and subscribe today.

Money Talks

If you could go back to 2020, before the last election, what investment would you make?

Let us know what you would do differently, even if it might involve making different life choices instead of an investment. We look forward to sharing your answers in a future newsletter! mlrch-787d3ec375b58da4

May the cash flow always be in your favor,

Andrew and Lou - the Funny Money team