Weekend: Fashion-Forward…Puffer Boots? 👀

Think your family holiday gathering is going to be…uncomfortable? We have a feeling it won’t be nearly as awkward as the royals’. Already, Christmas for the Mountbatten-Windsors — essentially, their version of the Super Bowl — isn’t looking so merry and bright. Stick with us while we explain: On Thursday, King Charles hosted the family’s traditional pre-Christmas luncheon — but not everyone attended. Among those missing were Prince William, Kate Middleton, and their kids (though, they had a good reason), and perhaps more notable, the late queen’s supposed Number One Boy Prince Andrew, who evidently cancelled his plans to attend. No, not because of his well-documented ties to Jeffrey Epstein — but because of his alleged connection to a suspected Chinese spy. For those who don’t tune in to Keeping Up With the Royals, according to court documents, the Chinese businessman earned an “unusual degree of trust” with the Duke of York and was “prepared to enter into business activities” with Andrew, who in a statement insisted that “nothing of a sensitive nature [was] ever discussed.” (The businessman denies any wrongdoing, as well.) The latest scandal is also why Andrew — who the Daily Mail claims wasn’t invited to Kate’s annual Christmas carol concert — apparently decided to “honorably withdraw” from the family’s other holiday celebrations.

What will he be missing, you ask? After yet another annus horribilis for Charles and Co, the royals are planning “one of the biggest family Christmases ever,” with more than 40 guests expected to attend, including Will and Kate (who are reportedly “preparing” to become king and queen sooner than anticipated) and Queen Camilla’s son, Tom Parker Bowles, who for the first time will likely take part in the long-standing royal traditions, from the black-tie dinner (naturally) to the gag-gift exchange. (See: the “very cheeky” present Kate Middleton is rumored to have previously given her brother-in-law.) Still, don’t get your hopes up for a full-fledged family reunion — because Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are seemingly celebrating in the land called Montecito, after once again being left out of the festivities. Something tells us the Mountbatten-Windsors won’t be receiving any limited-edition strawberry jam this year.