So I watched the Aaron Rodgers doc on Netflix.

First off: Calling a 3+ hour documentary on yourself “Enigma” is pretty hilarious. Um, you’re not that confusing, Aaron. It’s like saying, “Read my 750 page autobiography titled, ‘I’m an Unsolvable Mystery!’” 😜

I enjoyed the football stuff, which is mostly the kind of “he overcame the odds” boosterism you’d expect from NFL Films. So let’s focus on ep 2 when he goes to Costa Rica and does ayahuasca with a group that includes other NFL players.

On masculinity and perfectionism

Here I’ll give him props: It’s great to see someone of his stature shining a light on plant medicine and what he learned. The more normies like Rodgers and Michael Pollan get the word out, the better.

Through the medicine, he claims, “We can model a new way of thinking about masculinity” by “getting deep, getting emotional, tapping into the divine feminine and being vulnerable.”

And the discussion of how perfectionism has brought him success on the field but led to suffering in his personal relationships hit home. It’s a theme I’ve returned to in therapy often. “At the core of being a perfectionist - whether we admit this or not - subliminally, we know we are broken,” says Rodgers.

Good stuff. A friend who’s done plant medicine wrote me, “I didn’t know a ton about him but found it fascinating. I understand his experience. Ep 2 is relatable.”

Ego 911

Still, I worry about Rodgers as the messenger here.

For example, there’s his consistent focus on “ego death” as a concept.

Watching Rodgers mention it repeatedly, I kept wondering if he had truly experienced ego death – and just how exactly he defines it. He mentions it a lot but describes it with examples like falling back in the draft (“ego death!”) and having to play backup QB (“ego death!”). Um, yeah?

He talks about achieving ego death as if it’s some fixed goal, like making the playoffs. It feels like a Huberman listener’s version of enlightenment (“Give me the ego death protocol and I’ll implement it ASAP!”) as opposed to an Alan Watts disciple, y’know?

Because, to me, ego death is a point on the horizon that we never quite attain. It is a goal as opposed to something that keeps happening to you. But I’m just some dude struggling to figure it out. (Humility is a good feature when it comes to enlightenment!)

On the other hand, the doc positions Rodgers as a pigskin shaman who’s mostly solved the mysteries of the universe. Watching it, I felt like I was listening to a tech bro return from Burning Man, describe himself as an empath, and begin lecturing everyone around on “healing modalities.” Cool, man.

The doc shimmies past how much Rodgers has spread misinformation via pseudoscience and self-help speak:

Rodgers has been accused of questioning everything from Dr. Anthony Fauci's response to the AIDS epidemic to whether Vladimir Putin is really that bad to some odd conspiracies about immigrants in the millitary. But the documentary doesn't delve deeply into these facets of his "enigmatic" persona. Neither does it mention how Rodgers incorrectly implied Jimmy Kimmel might have been friendly with deceased predator Jeffrey Epstein. (Rodgers gave a half-hearted clarification on the “Pat McAfee Show” in January, while McAfee himself offered a more forceful personal apology.)

Good luck finding any of that in the doc though.

[Continued below]

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Unanswered questions

Some questions I wished were addressed while watching: Just how much has Rodgers studied eastern philosophy? Are his relationship patterns with family/friends/partners healthy? (He doesn’t have contact with his brother, parents, or grandparents anymore.) Do his explanations truly justify being an RFK Jr. buddy and all his “immunized” vaccine tap dancing? Do fans of the woeful Jets agree with descriptions of his “improved” leadership abilities?

And I may be projecting here, but this whole doc felt like an advertisement for marriage and kids. Surely he’d get out of his own head way more if he had to care for others instead of just obsessing over football, achievement, and himself. You want ego death, Aaron? Take care of a screaming kid at 3am while your wife rolls her eyes at you. (Or so I’ve heard.)

Finally, I’m curious just what Rodger’s role was in getting this doc made. I’m assuming he profits from it, told colleagues to participate (plenty show up to testify on his behalf), and had say in the final cut. (LMK if I’m wrong! Can’t find details anywhere.)

That’s a tough way to get to the truth.

Access and documentaries

Lately, there’s been a whole trend of self-produced, hagiographic documentaries that throw out journalistic principles for access to a subject (and the participation of those close to him/her).

The Dr. Dre/Jimmy Iovine doc is the perfect example: Both those dudes have tons of skeletons in the closet yet come off looking like angels in a doc they paid to have made. Neat trick that.

As a society, we spent decades complaining about “access journalism” yet we’ve largely replaced it with non-journalism that is even more reliant on access to its subjects. Documentaries like this one are seemingly based on a director saying, “Tell all your friends to talk to me and I’ll make you look good”). Most big name podcasts have an implicit play nice quality too: “Come on my pod and I won’t ask you any challenging questions.”

That makes me feel even sadder about the collapse of mainstream media/conventional journalism that made some effort to ask tough questions and seek all sides to a story. Now, we’re all living in a world of neverending crossover collabs.

Good enough vs. perfect

All that said, perhaps I need to settle for a good enough messenger instead of seeking perfection. (See, Aaron, I’m learning to give up on perfect too!)

I do believe this doc could encourage a lot of “manly” men to dive into territory they might not touch otherwise. And we could all use more bros connecting to the empathy, kindness, and compassion plant medicine can deliver.

In fact, plant medicine can serve as a valuable antidote to the ick that rumbles through much of the manosphere. If Rodgers can help get that ball over the line, I’m here for it.

Related

More things I’ve written about ayahuasca:

The #1 question I get asked about ayahuasca

Matt Ruby · October 19, 2021

📰 This is the Rubesletter from Matt Ruby (comedian, writer, and the creator of Vooza). Sign up to get it in your inbox weekly.

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Keep talking about what you love

Matt Ruby · February 28, 2023

Was back in my ayahuasca bag a few weeks ago and here are some notes I jotted down while under the influence…

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Welcome to the Jungle: My first journey on Ayahuasca/meeting the Dirt Mother Goddess. [Medium]

-Matt

P.S. Check out the Top 10 Funny How posts of 2024 (that’s my other newsletter about the art of doing standup)…