“He gets to deal with it”

Boston Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla on Jayson Tatum:

(From Starting 5 on Netflix.)

Season of Slop

10,000 steps
Get them in
Keep those Wordle streaks alive
Binge that stream
A new season of slop
while the checks get unchecked
and the balances are beamed

Narcotized via pixels
There is no Fugazi now
No one even speaks the language anymore
We lost the turtles
Now it's brand collabs and diss tracks
all the way down

Hit snooze
control the cruise
boozeless January's over
Everything’s repeating again
on shuffle mode for the soul
Just a few more steps to go

Working Methods

Working Methods is another newsletter I write. It’s filled with creative inspiration from art legends. Recently there:

Author Mary Gordon: “I write by hand.”

Labor has virtue, because of its very physicality. For one thing it involves flesh, blood and the thingness of pen and paper, those anchors that remind us that, however thoroughly we lose ourselves in the vortex of our invention, we inhabit a corporeal world.

David Foster Wallace: “Writing that appears effortless takes the most work.”

In order to write effectively, you don’t pretend it’s a letter to some individual you know, but you never forget that what you’re engaged in is a communication to another human being. The bromide associated with this is that the reader cannot read your mind. The reader cannot read your mind. That would be the biggest one.

Quickies

🎯 Gen Z loves ket@mine because the high only lasts for like 20 minutes. They don't even have the attention span to do drugs.

🎯 I ❤️ the terms NPC, psy op, crisis actor, and false flag. Because whenever someone uses one of 'em, I know to tune out the rest of what they're saying.

🎯 I can't believe we're talking about tampons in men's bathrooms this much. Call me old fashioned, but I think a real man should bring his own tampons.

🎯 Masculinity isn't toxic. It's like hot sauce: You want it sprinkled on the dish so it's got some bite, but you don't want it to be the entire dish ‘cuz then you'll just start crying.

🎯 The only thing worse than small talk is big talk. I don't wanna hear about the weather, but I really don't wanna hear about your childhood trauma.

🎯 If I had to put one social media comment in a time capsule so people in the future understand what this era was like, it might be this brand cheering on Olivia Rodrigo's 🍈🍈:

🎯 Conspiracy theories are a drug. And while Google may not do the actual delivery, it always knows a guy.

🎯 America is #1 in the world at having lesbians. 🏆 It's why we always win the women's World Cup. ⚽️ If it's illegal to be a lesbian in your country, we're going to crush you at soccer. Trust me: If you have zero women with short, purple hair, it’s gonna be a looooong 90 minutes.

🎯 TV ads are like a cheerleader, Instagram ads are like someone breaking up with you...
TV commercials: "Do you and your wife want a Lexus with a bow on it?"
IG ads: "You need pills for your hair, your chew guard is filthy, and it's time to seek therapy."

🎯 In Cinderella, the prince married the maid because the glass slipper fit. Those roles would never be reversed. Like, the queen would never marry the shoeshine boy because the condom fit.

🎯 Dating in your 20s: What's your sign?
Dating in your 40s: What’s your credit score?

🎯 Meditating doesn't mean you don't get upset anymore. It just means you see yourself getting upset and then laugh at how much you desire upsetness.

🎯 Call me old fashioned, but I like my dopamine delivered via drugs instead of screens.

🎯 When trauma manifests as a disorder, it's your body’s way of saying, “Keep that in mind.”

🎯 When you find the perfect hat for your DJ gig in Tulum:

🎯 The solution to mideast peace is food. That’s when Jews and Arabs love the same stuff. With dining, there's no beef between us – only kofta kebabs. (Btw, is it kofta or kefta kebab? It’s so confusing that I might just go with kafka kebabs.)

🎯 I like to think that Italian greyhounds talk with their paws.

Comedy

🃏 Social with me: Get jokes (and more) on my social media at Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack Notes – Bluesky.

🃏 NYC weeklies: 1) GOOD EGGS (Mondays) at 7:30pm at NY Comedy Club (Upper West Side). 2) HOT SOUP (Tuesdays) at 10:30pm at Comedy Cellar. 3) GOOD EGGS (Wednesdays) at 8pm at NY Comedy Club (East Village).

🃏 FUNNY HOW: I have another newsletter all about the craft of doing standup. Check it out. Recently there:

• What Jim Gaffigan learned from Dave Attell about the New York City style of doing comedy

• Name what's happening in the room

• Garry Shandling on the purpose of material

Kendrick at the Super Bowl...