Good morning. Today, a massive snowstorm is expected to blanket the East Coast from Virginia to Boston with as much as 2' of snow in some areas.

Not sure which school principal needs to hear this, but just because you can switch to remote school doesn’t mean you should switch to remote school.

SMALL BIZ

The Oracle Warns of Big Problems for Small Businesses

In an interview with CNBC yesterday morning, legendary investor Warren Buffett urged Congress to pass legislation to help small businesses stay afloat.

Buffett called the situation facing Mom and Pop an "economic war," and labeled small businesses "collateral damage in a war that our country needed to fight." He called on Congress to extend the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) "on a large scale." 

Remember the PPP? We wrote about it often during the worst of the economic crisis in March and April. It's a $525 billion government program intended to help small businesses keep workers on payroll. 

• PPP has been criticized for fraud and not actually going to small businesses. 
• But PPP may have been the economic equivalent of a vodka soda—imperfect but still effective. "Don't let that turn you away from something where millions of people were being helped," Buffett argued yesterday.

It's all about access to credit

Large corporations have several funding options, such as the bond market, to tap into on a rainy day. And 2020, of course, has been particularly stormy: U.S. companies have sold a record $2.4 trillion of bonds so far this year, per Dealogic. 

• "Small businesses don't have that access," Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon told CNBC yesterday. Which is why he, too, supports another round of PPP funding. 

A real-world example: This summer, American Airlines was able to raise $2.5 billion from selling bonds even as it was bleeding $58 million/day. Much smaller GNS Foods, which supplies American Airlines with nuts, struggled to refinance a $500,000 mortgage on its warehouse, writes the Financial Times.

Looking ahead…a stimulus bill from a bipartisan group of lawmakers contains $300 billion in aid for small businesses, including devastated restaurants and entertainment venues. Help could be on the way if Congress gets the job done.

MEDIA

The Devil Runs Condé

Yesterday, print media titan Condé Nast announced that legendary fashion gatekeeper Anna Wintour will be elevated from U.S. Vogue editor/artistic director to reigning Empress Of Stylishness global chief content officer. 

The backstory: Wintour became U.S. Vogue editor in 1988, then added the "artistic director" title in 2014. That means she's been helping steer a ship of the U.S.' most iconic glossies—including GQ, Vanity Fair, and Bon Appétit—through the slow but steady collapse of print media.  

Condé has had its share of setbacks, especially this year (it laid off about 100 people in May as the pandemic hit), but it's in the midst of a turnaround plan. CEO Roger Lynch plans to lean on 1) digital video and 2) paywalls to reach profitability.

• Condé's also still responding to criticism over its treatment of Black employees, who have said they are marginalized. Wintour apologized for her role in sidelining Black creators in June. 

Bottom line: Condé may be changing its ways, but its most influential face is staying put. 

TECH

Big Tech vs. the EU, Round...We're Losing Count

For a city whose symbol is a statue of a naked (or occasionally costumed) peeing child, Brussels doesn't mess around. Yesterday, European Union officials released drafts of two strict new regulations for big tech. 

The Digital Markets Act gives companies with extra big reach—45+ million monthly users or 10,000+ business customers—extra attention. These "gatekeepers" would need to disclose planned takeovers, face limits on using data they collect to launch competing products, and avoid favoring their own products on their platforms.

• Fines for violations could reach up to 10% of annual global revenue.

The Digital Services Act would make companies more accountable for illegal content on their platforms, with fines of up to 6% of annual revenue.

The walls are closing in

This week, the FTC ordered top U.S. tech companies to explain their user data practices, China fined its own tech leaders Alibaba and Tencent over antitrust violations, and the UK proposed fines of up to 10% of global revenue if tech giants don't remove illegal content.

Looking ahead...the EU proposals still need to be ratified, which could take a few years. If they become law, they'll likely be Europe's strictest to date.

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GOVERNMENT

The Next Mayor of Transportationville, USA

President-elect Joe Biden reportedly made his pick for Transportation Secretary yesterday: former mayor of South Bend, IN, Pete Buttigieg. 

Remember, it's BOOT-edge-edge—and he's the young one who speaks Norwegian and plays alt-rock on the piano. Thirty-eight-year-old Mayor Pete ran a solid campaign for the Democratic nomination, even scraping out a win in the Iowa caucuses, but eventually dropped out of the race.

• Buttigieg endorsed Biden and helped him raise money, despite Biden having run an ad mocking Buttigieg's relatively paltry experience. 

What Buttigieg will be tasked with: It may be the Rhodes Scholar's toughest assignment yet—bipartisan infrastructure legislation. Biden's plan for climate change, a central plank of his platform, includes a major effort to overhaul the U.S.' crumbling industrial backbone. 

• More broadly, Buttigieg will manage a nearly $90 billion budget, plus oversee the agencies that regulate railroads, trucking, and aviation.

Looking ahead...if his nomination makes it through the Senate, Buttigieg will be the first openly LGBTQ person to become a member of a presidential Cabinet. 

SPORTS

The NFL Comes to Nick

We're not sure watching football could get more fun than Monday night's Browns-Ravens game, but Nickelodeon is going to try. 

On Jan. 10, the network will broadcast an NFL Wild Card game filled with gags aimed at drawing in a younger audience. That means... 

• A pregame show called "The SpongeBob SportsPants Countdown Special" 
• Booth commentary from two members of the sketch comedy series All That 
• Slime superimposed on endzones and googly eyes and other Snapchat-style filters layered over the game 

Zoom out: With the all-important TV rights deals for the NFL expiring in 2022, media companies, such as Nickelodeon parent ViacomCBS, are experimenting with new formats to woo the league. NBC, for instance, is tapping khaki influencer and MSNBC journalist Steve Kornacki to evaluate playoff scenarios as he would the electoral college. 

Food for thought: Who makes your all-Nickelodeon football roster? 

• WRs: Drake & Josh
• TE: Otto from Rocket Power
• RB: Wanda from The Fairly OddParents
• Fullback: Invader Zim
• Football: Hey Arnold's head
• O-Line: The Rugrats 
• D-Line: The Wild Thornberrys
• QB: Aang from Avatar: the Last Airbender
• Backup QB: Danny Phantom
• Coaches: Gibby from iCarly, SpongeBob, and Ned from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

HOLIDAY

ISO: Christmas Miracle

For Christmas market operators, prepping for the holidays is typically a year-long affair. There are spring orders for bespoke glühwein mugs to place, vendor applications to review, city permits to secure, staff to hire. But, as we all know, this wasn't a typical year. 

The Brew spoke with operators of four of the U.S.' most iconic Christmas markets about their decisions to proceed in-person or move festivities online, and the devastating impact the pandemic is having on your favorite Christmas ornament artisan.

Check out the full story here. 

WHAT ELSE IS BREWING

• MacKenzie Scott, the billionaire ex-wife of Jeff Bezos, disclosed that she donated $4.2 billion to nonprofits over the past four months. 
• The FDA said Moderna's Covid-19 vaccine was effective and safe in a detailed analysis released yesterday. It could be approved later this week. 
• The FDA also granted emergency approval for the first over-the-counter Covid-19 test that doesn't need a prescription. 
• Peter Nygård, the Canadian fashion mogul, was indicted on charges of racketeering and sex trafficking.
• Giannis Antetokounmpo signed a supermax extension with the Milwaukee Bucks for $228.2 million. It's the largest contract in NBA history. 

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BREW'S BETS

2020 Playback: So you’ve seen your personalized Spotify Wrapped. Now, check out the most celebrated artists, cultural moments, and tracks on fledgling artists’ go-to platform, SoundCloud. 

Stay up-to-date with Covid-19: Charts that track a) global infections and b) where vaccines have been allocated 

Zoned in: When can you call your friend in Tokyo without waking them up? Learn what time it is in cities around the world with this simple website. 

GAMES

Fun With Wikipedia

As you know, all Wikipedia articles are subdivided into sections. We'll name the particular section titles of a Wikipedia article, and you have to name the article.

1) Publication history 2) Adaptations 3) Guns, vehicles, and gadgets 4) Cultural impact 5) Criticisms 

Here's another.

1) History 2) Customs and traditions 3) Production 4) Environmental issues 5) Religious issues

ANSWER

The first is James Bond, the second is Christmas Tree