Crazy Tales and Life Lessons From Cousin Sal

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The Ringer
In the January 29 newsletter:
A brief Q&A with Cousin Sal, who wrote a book! You Can't Lose Them All (a.k.a. how not to gamble your life away—along with many other life lessons—so you don’t have to learn the hard way) is out now. 

Let's Get to Know Cousin Sal Iacono

What is the all-time-craziest thing you have ever done in your life? 
It’s tough to top getting Botox injected into my scalp in order to pay off a wager. The bet was that the Lakers and Celtics wouldn’t go seven games in the 2010 NBA Finals and was made against ... nobody. I could’ve easily backed out—but instead went through with it and had poison shot into my head by a barely-certified doctor. Second craziest … telling my mother about this event.

Do you have a sports legend (who’s still alive) that you’d like to meet? 
I’ve been fortunate enough to get to meet a lot of my sports idols … Tony Romo, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Mike Piazza. The one I missed out on was Dennis Rodman, who passed away about a decade ago. Wait—he’s still alive? Quick—get me a one-way flight to North Korea.
 
What is the best bet you’ve ever made? 
The best bet I ever made was proposing to my beautiful, intelligent, caring, and understanding wife. No but seriously it was Cowboys over Bills in Super Bowl XXVII. That game was never close.  

What is the worst bet you’ve ever made?
I bet my publisher that this book would land on the New York Times bestseller list. Is there any way I can hedge?

Share your favorite memory growing up with Jimmy Kimmel and Aunt Chippy. 
My favorite memory with my cousin Jimmy and our Aunt Chippy happens to also be a watershed day in the family’s history. It was the day Jimmy and I learned to look at Aunt Chippy’s rage issues from a comedic perspective. That night during a big family dinner, Jimmy and I clandestinely placed a tape recorder under the kitchen table and recorded Aunt Chippy and Uncle Frank arguing. That evening the main issue was Uncle Frank’s struggle utilizing the then-new plastic Heinz ketchup bottle. "Frank, do you have it open? Frank, you gotta open it before it’ll god damn come out. For crying out loud. He’s so stupid, it’s pathetic.” Thanks to the power of unauthorized recordings, that quote and the longer 10-minute version of that exchange is one Jimmy and I have committed to memory for the last 35 years.

Click HERE to purchase the book

Bolt Line Break
"For the last two decades, Cousin Sal has been the Gambling Butch Cassidy to my Gambling Sundance Kid—and that's a crucial analogy, because they both died at the end of the movie."
Bill Simmons
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Copyright © 2021 Bill Simmons Media Group. All rights reserved.

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