We’ve been thinking a lot here at Ellevest of all the things that money is, in addition to just being money.

Last week was “money is power.”

This week is “money is relationships.”

Certainly, there’s our own relationship with money — which can represent our dreams for ourselves and our families, or can be fraught, or can be driven by guilt.

For many of you, your relationship with money has changed during the pandemic, as women+ have taken a disproportionate hit to the wallet. In our recent community survey about financial wellness, many of you told us that your relationship with money was more stressed. Others found the pandemic to be a wake-up call for a more intentional relationship with money — like Noele, who told us, “We’re friends now, instead of mortal enemies.”

Money can also shape our relationships with others. And how.

Even when we don’t immediately see the connection: For example, does anyone really think that women would have been doing so much more of the unpaid child care and home labor during the pandemic if we made more money than the men in our lives?

I didn’t think so.

Because of the often-unspoken power dynamics of money in our relationships, money can be tough to talk about. We hear from many of you that even bringing up money in a relationship can be tough because a partner can view this as questioning their competency or their breadwinning ability. That’s particularly true for people whose partners are cis men: Social norms are still so strong that both partners underreport a breadwinning woman’s earnings.

And some of you have said you’re nervous to bring it up because your partner may think you’re asking because you’re considering a divorce. (I know, that escalated quickly, didn’t it? But it’s true: We hear it all the time.)

And then there are the other truths about love and money — the ones that have to do with how happy you’ll be in a relationship.