How to Give Money to Family Members Without Making it Awkward

July 13, 2021

Elder care often starts incrementally. A little help with grocery shopping might turn over time into help with doctors appointments or paying the bills. When caregiving includes financial assistance, it’s important to have a plan. You don’t want a hundred dollars here and a hundred dollars there to snowball to the point where you put your own finances in jeopardy. The first step is figuring out how much you can comfortably give, and the second is deciding how you’d like to communicate that to your loved one. Money’s hard to talk about, and you might find it works better for you to open up a joint checking account and let mom withdraw from it as needed, no questions asked. That’s one of the smart solutions in today’s featured story, which covers how to give money to family members without making it awkward. Read it for inspiration on how to make your caregiving proactive rather than reactive. 

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Retire With Money Community News

This week in our Retire with Money Facebook group, a member posted this video, which shows an older man struggling to climb out of the seat of a low-slung sports car he purportedly just bought in retirement. While his exertions were played for laughs, the video raises the important question of how long should you defer certain pleasures. You don’t want to wait so long to travel that health concerns impair your ability to get around, for example. One reader wrote to me recently that she didn’t wait until age 70 to claim Social Security — even though that would give her the biggest monthly payout — because she wanted those funds available sooner for travel and other fun activities while she was still relatively healthy. It makes sense. A trusted financial advisor can help you do the math and give you permission to spend earlier than you might otherwise.

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Elizabeth O'Brien is deputy editor at Money. She has covered retirement and health care for nearly a decade. A Brooklyn resident and mom of two boys, she navigates the alphabet soup of Medicare and the New York City subway system with equal ease. You can email her at elizabeth.obrien@money.com and follow her on Twitter at @elizobrien.

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