The Cut - I Still Worry That I'll Be Next

It has taken me two decades to call what happened by its name: sexual assault, ugly as sin. I had pushed it aside as one traumatic experience among other traumatic experiences, which in my life — especially when my brain tortures me with intrusive thoughts — have been incredibly common. I seem to continuously collect them, the way a bus will pause to pick up passengers even when it is already filled to capacity. Except no flashing lights warn me of the schedule. There’s no beeping, no lowering of the chassis, no slowing down at traffic lights. These buses run reds, perform California slide-throughs at stop signs, and refuse to simply pass through my mind like clouds or ocean waves or any other simile I try to imagine during my mindfulness practice. No, they run me over, tangling my parts in their grimed and oiled surfaces, leaving me for dead, bleeding in the street, choking on my own blood, screamless yet no less terrified.

Jupiter’s still retrograde, and it’s going into Aquarius — what that means for your weekly horoscope. Princess Diana’s niece Lady Kitty Spencer was a sight for sore eyes in her Victorian-inspired D&G wedding gown over the weekend. Ginormous lobster for sale as pet (not dinner). Cher and Saweetie are hanging out in Paris, and we need the details. Why doesn’t sex positivity extend to asexuality? And City Hall reopened for in-person weddings this weekend — see photos.

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