Good morning, friends!

I've consciously injected a healthy dose of rational thought into my brain in the last few years. Through The Profile, I've studied people and analyzed the mental frameworks they use to make sound decisions in their lives.

The further I got away from experiencing sudden emotional tirades, the better I felt. I was able to remain calm in stressful situations and remain logical when others couldn't.

Rationality seemed like a superpower that couldn't fail. Except when it did.

I recently dealt with someone who was solely operating on feelings backed with no evidence while I was trying to convince them to calmly look at the facts. When I told my husband about it, he said, "Your mistake is that you're trying to be rational in an irrational situation."

That's the thing — You can't always meet raw emotion with common sense.

Last week, I watched Worth, a movie based on the life of Kenneth Feinberg, the mediator in nearly all of America's crises.

In one scene, Feinberg meets with Sept. 11 victims in order to decide who receives compensation — and how much — for their suffering. The meeting goes downhill as soon as he presents a formula that would determine the monetary value of their loved ones' lives.

One man stands up and asks, "Why do we need a formula? Why isn't it equal payment for everybody? My daughter's life was worth just as much as anybody in a corner office." A woman follows up: "My boy was a firefighter. Was he worth less than the guy pushing pencils and trading stock?"

Feinberg is confused by the criticism because he understands how the system works and that lawsuits against the airlines, for example, would never turn out in favor of the individual. To him, the logical thing to do would be to take advantage of the victim compensation fund money.

This is the exchange between Feinberg and his law partner Camille:

Feinberg: "They don't understand this is for their own good. The airlines would bury them in litigation until they had nothing left."

Camille: "You think I don't know what? This is different. Didn't you feel it in there? Our other cases like this — Agent Orange, Asbestos — were settled after years in court. People had moved on. These people aren't there yet."

Feinberg: "Camille, they're emotional right now. We need to be objective toward them. That's all."

Needless to say, he quickly figures out that the objective approach is the wrong strategy.

Here's the thing: Most people are emotional beings. (Our own language emphasizes emotion over reason.) They don't want you to tell them about a formula, they want you to hear their story. Even though it may seem irrational, Feinberg realized that in emotionally-laden situations, his role is to listen to the families recount their grief and love for the ones they’ve lost. He ended up meeting with 950 victims in person, with eight to 10 meetings per day.

The most effective and successful people understand that sometimes you need to meet emotion with emotion, no matter how irrational it may seem. They've figured out that emotions make the world go round. Relationships, markets, businesses, and dining experiences are all influenced by these mushy things we call "feelings."

In The Profile's most recent Dossier, I told the story of Danny Meyer's rise to legendary restaurateur. His first restaurant, Union Square Cafe, was a massive success largely because Meyer's priority was not the food, the menu, or the decor. It was about how the overall dining experience made customers feel.

“Business, like life, is all about how you make people feel," he says. "It’s that simple, and it’s that hard."

Of course, the facts are important: Does the food taste good? Is it served on time? Are the table linens clean? But none of that matters if the overall experience feels bad.

When Meyer first opened Gramercy Tavern, he had lost sight of that. It took one of his customers to tell him directly. She said this new restaurant felt nothing like Union Square Cafe. She realized this after her salmon was overcooked, explaining:

“Well, first of all, no one noticed. At Union Square Cafe, they would have noticed, they would have come up, and they would have discreetly asked me if I’d like to have it re-cooked, but no one noticed and I wasn’t gonna say anything because I’m trying to entertain other people.

But there it sat, and I took a couple of bites because I had to eat something even though I didn’t like it. And at the end of the meal, your manager came up to me and said, ‘The rest of your salmon, would you like me to put it in the coat check room so you can take it home?’ And I was like, ‘What are you, kidding me?’ He then leaves it on the bill.

At Union Square Cafe, they would have taken it off the bill, they would have brought me something else with your compliments, what’s going on here?”

This is when Meyer began defining hospitality as one preposition: “for.” He says, "If you feel like the other guy did something for you, that’s hospitality. If you think about every single transaction you go through in life, you don’t necessarily feel like they did something for you. In fact, sometimes you feel like they did something to you."

The rational approach would've been for the customer to politely ask the waiter to re-cook the salmon, but she expected the staff to read her cues and proactively rectify the situation. While it seemed obvious to her, it may have appeared irrational to everyone else.

The key in a situation like this one is to meet emotion with empathy while making rational steps to move forward. Meyer listened to her concerns, apologized, and made her feel heard. The next day, he spoke to his staff about "enlightened hospitality" and instructed them on how to practically handle a customer experience like this one.

By listening, asking questions, and understanding your counterpart's point of view, you can better understand when to meet someone with emotion rather than reason.

It's never just about the salmon, and it's never just about the money. Sometimes, the only way to get someone to dip a toe in the crystal pool of rational thought is to wade through the messy swamp of emotions first.

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THE PROFILE DOSSIER: On Wednesday, premium members received The Profile Dossier, a comprehensive deep-dive on a prominent individual. It featured Danny Meyer, the king of hospitality. Become a premium member, and read it below.

The Profile

The Profile Dossier: Danny Meyer, the King of Hospitality

Hello, friends! This week, I spent a few days learning about Danny Meyer, one of New York City’s most respected restaurateurs. I became interested in his story after I watched him give a talk in early 2020 — right before he had to shutter 19 of his restaurants. He’s someone who has learned how to lead through crisis time and time again. I hope you enjoy……

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4 days ago · 3 likes · Polina Pompliano

PROFILES.

— The founder who wants to build a utopia[**HIGHLY RECOMMEND**]
— The students attending America's rural schools
— The unapologetic NBA legend
— The tennis star doubling down on her power
— The actress using her stardom for activism
— The startup bringing back the woolly mammoth
— The company that failed to launch an electric vehicle

PEOPLE TO KNOW.

The founder who wants to build a utopia: Marc Lore founded two e-commerce startups and sold them for $550 million and $3.3 billion before spending the last five years running Walmart’s online shopping division. Since announcing his departure from the retailer in January, Lore is on a mission to do something about the country's massive wealth gap. He's come up with a proposal to start a private foundation, buy 200,000 acres or so of land, and build a 5 million-person city from the ground up—a utopia that will serve as a demonstration project for a new, fairer phase of capitalism. Take a look at how he plans to make his vision a reality. (Bloomberg; reply to this email if you can't access this article)

“The answer is not higher taxes. That’s socialism. Let the land be owned by the people! But in a capitalistic sort of way.”

The students attending America's rural schools: Outdated textbooks, not enough teachers, no ventilation. While researchers and activists have spent decades detailing the ways urban schools have failed children, most of the country’s poorest counties are rural. Nationwide, more than 9.3 million kids — nearly a fifth of the country’s public-school students — attend a rural school. And yet their plight has largely remained off the radars of policymakers. This is a must-read. (The New York Times)

“This district has been failing these kids from kindergarten all the way through graduation."

The unapologetic NBA legend: Celtics legend Paul Pierce recently lost his job at ESPN as an NBA analyst after his Instagram Live video went viral. In April, Pierce was playing poker at a friend’s house. There was drinking, and smoking, and strippers. And after a little too much drinking and smoking, Pierce decided to start an Instagram Live and, well, show off the strippers. He didn’t know IG Lives can be recorded and reposted. ESPN fired him after the incident, but Pierce refuses to apologize, saying, “Come on, I didn’t do anything illegal. These motherf-----s in the Hall of Fame, some did [cocaine], f---ing battery. What the f--- did I do? I was just having a good time." Here's what he's up to now. (Sports Illustrated)

"I was done with [ESPN], anyway. There’s a lot of stuff over there that you can’t say. And you have to talk about LeBron all the time.”

The tennis star doubling down on her power: Venus Williams has won a combined 21 Grand Slam championships and 4 Olympic gold medals. She also found the time to get two degrees (in fashion design and business administration) and launch three companies. She also holds a minority stake ownership in the Miami Dolphins, created the vegan protein company Happy Viking, and has partnerships with Credo Beauty and Asutra. Here's what Williams has been up to. (Cosmopolitan)

“Those who have money have power."

The actress using her stardom for activism: Angelina Jolie has spent 20 years campaigning for human rights. She has carried out more than 60 field missions, bearing witness to people displaced by war and persecution in countries such as Syria, Sierra Leone, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Now, she has written a book that lays out the rights children have under the UN convention. In this profile, she opens up about why her divorce from Brad Pitt is a human rights issue, escaping Harvey Weinstein, and what young activists have taught her. (The Guardian)

“I don’t think I came into this business because I wanted to be an actor. I came into it because that’s where you could have a voice."

COMPANIES TO WATCH.

The startup bringing back the woolly mammoth: A team of scientists and entrepreneurs have started a new company to genetically resurrect the woolly mammoth. The company, named Colossal, has raised $15 million in private funding to place thousands of these extinct creatures back on the Siberian tundra. Colossal plans to edit elephant DNA, adding genes for mammoth traits like dense hair and thick fat for withstanding cold, hoping to produce embryos of these mammoth-like elephants in a few years.

"Is it humane to produce an animal whose biology we know so little about?"

The company that failed to launch an electric vehicle: In an excerpt from his new book, James Dyson shares the many twists and turns that went into his company’s ultimately failed attempt at bringing the high-end N526 electric vehicle to market. "Fortunately, we were able to stomach the $700 million cost and survive," he says. "We did, though, push ourselves to learn a great deal in areas including batteries, robotics, air treatment, and lighting."

"We realized that we were disappointing a lot of people—those who worked on it, but also those who wanted to buy it."

✨ This installment of The Profile is free for everyone. If you would like to get full access to all of the recommendations, including today’s audio and video sections, sign up below.

AUDIO TO HEAR.

William Green on how to be successful and happy: Is it possible to be rich, wise, and happy? Author William Green says yes. As the author of the book Richer, Wiser, Happier, he has interviewed some of the world's most successful investors to understand the keys of what has allowed them to achieve these three things personally and professionally. In this podcast, he explains the habits, traits, and mental models they employ in their everyday life. (Link available to premium members.)

Sheila Heen on the art of negotiation: Sheila Heen is the deputy director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at Harvard Law School. She's an expert at helping people navigate thorny conversations that require us to engage in a negotiation before arriving at a mutually beneficial outcome. In this podcast, she details practical tips we can implement in our daily lives to resolve conflict calmly and efficiently. (Link available to premium members.)

Vince Gilligan on coming up with a compelling storyline: When Vince Gilligan was creating Walter White's character in Breaking Bad, he wanted to explore the moral limits of human nature. Could good-natured people fall into a life of crime through their own doing? "Walter White is a man who makes this active decision to become a criminal, to become a villain," Gilligan says. Here's how he slowly immerses the viewer into White's decision-making and his descent into a life of immorality, violence, and deception. (Link available to premium members.)

VIDEOS TO SEE.

Carl Icahn on becoming a Wall Street titan: Carl Icahn has become the most intimidating and feared man in corporate America. This documentary takes us on a journey from his childhood (growing up poor in Queens) to how he paid for college (playing poker) to studying philosophy (helping him develop his reasoning skills) all the way to becoming a stockbroker (learning how markets work). This is a must-watch. (Link available to premium members.)

Thasunda Duckett on the importance of financial equity: Thasunda Duckett, the president and newly-appointed CEO of TIAA, was the former CEO of Chase Consumer Banking. In this interview, she explains the power of investing, compounding, and buying real estate. "All of these things can unlock generational wealth," she says. "We have to talk about these things without shame or judgment." (Link available to premium members.)