A spectre? Haunting my dog’s crate? It’s more likely than you think…

BOO! Sorry, too scary. Let's try that again. Ahem -— once upon a time, a little chicken awoke in her nest to find a cradle of delicious eggs. Alas, she could not eat them due to strict social mores against cannibalism in the poultry community. Knowing this, she wheeled her unfertilized eggs out of the barn and into the straw, where she was visited by the ghost of chickens past. This ghost strongly suggested (in that way that is too strong to be a suggestion, it was a mandatory obligation in the ghost’s eyes) that she tend to her duties. This jogged the chicken's memory — she realized that she had totally spaced on her responsibilities, and that the people of Arizona had entrusted her with the privilege of voting on infrastructure bills. But the chicken was wrapped in other things, like replicating outfits she saw on Blossom as a young chick. She had ascended to power after a wave of food trends led her to be out-of-favor in her life's work (nugget-bound), and thus had a lot of free time to run for Senate. Ducks had taken over her role of martyrdom because they are far more delicious than she could ever be. Following the ghost's reminder that people were literally dying waiting for her to sign the infrastructure bill, he decided to blow off some steam. While alive, he had been accosted by a particularly gruff Labrador, and this spectre kind of always held a grudge. But the ghost was also non-confrontational, and he was emotionally depleted after having to lecture the chicken. So instead of bringing out all the stops for a true haunting, he decided to passive aggressively remove a dog's collar while he was trapped inside his crate, which would provide relief to the dog because of his newfound collarless freedom, but also scare the hell out of him. Until this day, people claim to still hear the wails of the ghost lecturing that stupid little chicken...