Chapter 9 Recap: Charlie finally makes real food, which she and Finn eat together in the art room. (Second pseudo-date vibes?) Finn confirms he will be attending the Halloween party and even offers Charlie a ride. She declines; arriving with Jacking and Liz is crucial to their entrance.

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“Slutty kitty... slutty devil... slutty...uh...” Jackie squinted and pressed her nose against the backseat window of Liz's car. “Oh, slutty pirate-type person...” We scanned the steady stream of guests heading up the gravel driveway towards the Miles’ barn. 

“Guys, I feel sick,” I said. I leaned back and pulled at the belt that was fastened too tightly around my waist. 

“You're probably just a little nervous. Did you eat anything?” asked Liz. 

“No.”

“Want some peanuts?” She waved an airline-sized package in front of my face. 

“Are we ready, stewardesses?” Jackie asked excitedly. Things had almost felt normal between the two of us as we'd all gotten ready at Liz's house. Arms linked, we stood together smiling as Mrs. Farmer gushed and snapped photos. “You girls look fantastic! You’re going to have so much fun!”

“Wait, guys. Can you turn on the light? Are you sure I look ok?” I asked and turned so both of them could see my face. 

Jackie studied me carefully. She'd smoothed her hair back perfectly, allowing one carefully shaped strand to curl up above her ear. With her bright red lipstick, she looked like something out of a vintage Coca-Cola ad. 

“You look great,” she said. “You just have a little lipstick on your teeth.” 

“Great,” I muttered, feeling flustered. I flipped down the windshield visor and stared at my reflection in the tiny mirror. I'd never worn so much makeup in my life. Jackie had given me “smokey” eyes, gluing on false eyelashes and coating them with layer after layer of mascara. I grinned and used my finger to scrub a smudge of lipstick off of my teeth. I smoothed my hair a bit and straightened my wedge cap. I'd never looked so “adult” before. It was strange, but also exciting. 

“OK, now are we ready?” Jackie asked. 

“Yes,” I said. 

Liz popped open her door and stepped out shakily. “Jackie, if I bust my ass on these stilettos and twist an ankle, Coach Studdard is going to hunt you down and kill you.”

“I thought you practiced walking in them?” asked Jackie. She easily sauntered around to our side of the car as if she was wearing slippers. Liz teetered, her muscular calves tensing in an effort to stand upright in the heels. “I guess not enough,” Jackie concluded. 

Jackie handed each of us a matching purse. “Here are your peanuts,” she explained. “I don't think we have to keep passing them out all night, but I think it will be cute for like the first 15 minutes or so...Oh, gloves!”

She reached into her own purse and pulled out three sets of white, wrist-length gloves still fastened together with plastic clips. 

“Wow, you really thought of everything,” I said, as she handed me my pair. 

“You guys, we look so amazing! We have to take more pictures once we get inside,” Jackie squealed as she clapped her gloved hands together. 

“That's if I actually make it inside,” Liz said, grabbing my arm to steady herself. 

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Let's do this before I lose my nerve.”

We carefully made our way to the barn, following a posse of already rowdy jocks in undershirts and Viking hats. One of them looked back at us and nudged the guy next to him. 

“Oh shit,” he said stupidly. 

“Great, is this what we have to look forward to all night?” Liz muttered under her breath. 

“Hey, got any peanuts?” another one yelled. 

He was too busy laughing at his own joke to notice Liz unleash her varsity all-star pitch.  The tiny bag hit him square in the forehead.

The barn was almost completely filled with people. I was relieved to see everyone wearing costumes, though most were of the store-bought, vinyl variety. Predictably, most girls were sexy versions of something, and all the guys had taken the easy, non-committal route and simply added a prop or hat to their everyday jeans and t-shirts. 

All the guys, with the exception of Andy. 

It was a lot to take in. He was showing as much skin, if not more, as the girls. As he walked towards us, the grass skirt he wore around his waist shifted, baring his legs all the way up to mid-thigh level where, thankfully, I glimpsed the Hawaiian pattern of a small pair of swim trunks. The coconut shells he wore over his chest clicked together. 

“Aloha, girls! You look amazing!” he yelled over the music.

I laughed. “Thanks, Andy. Um, you look lovely.”

“Thanks! I’m a hula girl.”

“I got that,” I shouted.

I glanced over at Jackie in time to catch her raised eyebrows. Luckily, Andy didn't seem to notice. 

“It looks fabulous in here, Andy!” Jackie exclaimed. 

And it did. The floor had been swept clean except for strategically stacked bales of hay, which served as seats. The room was mostly dark, except for the hundreds of tiny white lights that were wound through the barn’s eaves and rafters. Fake cobwebs stretched across every corner. Music blared from a makeshift DJ booth in the corner. A tiny head bobbed over a set of turntables. 

“That’s Jess in there,” Andy shouted. “She’s a musical genius.”

“I didn’t know she was a DJ,” I said. 

“Well, it’s her first gig. But, she’s amazing at musical direction. Give her any movie scene, or, like any situation in real life, and she can pick out the perfect soundtrack. I swear, she’s a savant.”

I looked over again and squinted my eyes at her costume. She had curled her hair into tight pin curls and wore a long black cape. It looked like it was swallowing her little body.

“What’s her costume?” I asked. 

“Oh, Judge Judy,” he answered. “Big fan.”

A sexy cat and an angel in lingerie danced self-consciously in the center of the room as the more hesitant masses milled around the edge of the party. 

“Let me get a picture of you,” Andy yelled over the music. Jackie, Liz and I crowded together as Andy pulled a phone from one of his coconut shells. While he took the picture, I quickly scanned the room for Finn. 

“Do you see him?” I asked Liz through my clenched smile. 

“No, not yet,” she said. “He'll be here, though.”

“I’ll tag you in this,” Andy yelled as he stared at the screen. “I have to check in with Jess, but we’ll all catch up later.” 

“Okay,” I yelled after him. Jackie, Liz, and I walked away from the speakers so we could hear each other.

Jackie took the lead, stopping at each cluster of people to pass out bags of peanuts. I did my best to keep up, and Liz held onto me for dear life. People I'd never talked to before in my whole life stopped us to compliment our idea. “I like how it's not even that slutty,” one girl with red lips and a vampire cape had said. She walked away and we burst out laughing. 

Jackie went to find Jared, and Liz and I lifted ourselves up onto a bale of hay to rest our feet. I scanned the room again, trying not to be too obvious. 

“Don't worry. The party only officially started like an hour ago. People are still getting here,” said Liz. 

“Things seem good between you and Jackie,” she added as she massaged the ball of her left foot. Her voice was upbeat. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I think she was just in this weird mood.” 

“Did she say something?” I wanted to know.

“Well,” Liz’s voice went up an octave, and she scratched at the bun on top of her head. “I did say something to her about how I noticed things were weird between the two of you. And she did say that some stuff had changed...” 

“Like what?”

“Honestly, she didn't really get into it. I told her she was being kind of a bitch and to not be so full of herself.” 

I smiled and shook my head. Liz was the only person that could get away with calling Jackie a bitch to her face. 

“I think she's unplugged whatever was up her butt,” she said and laughed. We looked out at the party for a minute without saying anything.

“I'm actually having fun in this ridiculous costume,” I said, changing the subject.

“Me too! Except for the shoes. I may ditch them and just go barefoot.”

“Want to find the bathroom?” I asked. The belt was really putting the squeeze on my bladder. 

“Yeah, let's go,” answered Liz. 

We made our way toward the bathroom, a separate little shack outside the barn that Mr. Miles had built for nature sanctuary visitors.  Before leaving, I checked my make-up again and fixed my slightly smudged lipstick. 

“Liz, I'll wait for you outside,” I shouted over the top of the stall. 

“Okay!”

It was completely dark outside, and the entrance to the barn was lit with Christmas lights. I watched the party-goers through the door frame, shifting in and out of view. An unfamiliar costume, a plaid shirt I'd yet to notice in the fray, caught my eye.  The figure stepped back and turned to the side, revealing Finn's profile. 

Liz had left the bathroom and joined me. “What is he supposed to be?” she asked.

The red flannel shirt, like most of his clothes, hung loosely on his frame.  The sleeves had been unevenly cut off. His jeans were ones I’d seen before, but his sneakers had been replaced with tan hiking boots. He carried something bright yellow in one hand. He suddenly reached upward and put the object on his head. 

“He's a construction worker, I think,” I said. “That's a hard hat.”

“Oh!” said Liz. “That's cute...So, are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” I asked. 

“To go talk to him. You've been looking for him all night,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “You can’t hit the ball if you don’t swing the bat.”

“I don’t even know what that means, Liz.”

“It means you better not wait too long,” Liz replied, using a warning tone. “He's talking to Jenna.”

“What?” I said. I shifted a bit to get a better view. And there she was. 

“Wow, a schoolgirl. I’ve never seen that before,” Liz said sarcastically. 

The costume was a head-to-toe cliche. The white collared shirt knotted at her waist, the knee socks, the plaid, pleated skirt that barely covered her butt. Her long hair was pulled back into two pigtails that she swished from side to side as she stared up at him, talking and giggling. He smiled back at her. 

“That costume was old ten years ago,” Jackie said as she joined us. She looked normal, but her breath smelled like hand sanitizer.

The three of us looked on as Jenna slipped a pack of cigarettes from the waistband of her skirt and began tapping it against the palm of her hand. 

“Alright, go now,” said Liz militantly. “She's going to ask him to smoke with her. We can't let them be alone.”

“You're right. Okay,” I said, adjusting my belt. 

“You look great,” assured Jackie. “Let's go,” she said and grabbed my arm. 

We shuffled out of the darkness and into the warm glow of the barn. More people had begun to dance and the temperature in the room had gone up at least five degrees. I prayed that my makeup wouldn't melt off my face. Jackie tugged me along while Liz nudged me from behind. “Okay, okay,” I muttered under my breath. Suddenly the three of us were face to face with Finn and Jenna. 

“Peanuts!” Liz shouted. She simultaneously whipped out two packages of nuts and hung them in front of each of their noses. They both flinched. I cringed slightly. 

Finn slowly reached up to take the peanuts. “Oh, thanks...” he said. Jenna snatched her package and glared at Liz.

“Get it? We're 1960's airline stewardesses,” explained Jackie. “All three of us,” she said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me into the center of the group. 

Finn suddenly recognized me. His look of surprise gave way to his familiar half-grin. 

“I didn’t realize it was you,” he said with a laugh. 

“I know... I'm usually covered in chopped parsley or something,” I said. 

“You actually kind of look like an old-school pin-up girl...I mean, with more clothes.” His cheeks flushed with pink. “Sorry, I've had a couple drinks,” he said apologetically. “I'm starting to say stupid shit.”  Liz pinched my arm from behind. 

Share STOP. KISSING. FINN.

“No, you're fine,” I assured him, even though I'd detected a slight slur. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jenna impatiently shifting her weight as she continued to tap the cigarettes against her open palm. 

“Smoke?” she asked, waving the pack in his direction. 

“I'm good for now,” he said, waving a hand. “I'll catch up with you later.”

I looked away, but not before I caught her narrowing her eyes at me. I glanced back long enough to see her turn on her heel and head toward the exit, her pigtails bouncing. 

“Um, Liz and I are going to go get something to drink. We'll be back in a little bit,” said Jackie before the two of them shuffled away leaving us alone. 

“So, a construction worker,” I said, pointing to his hard hat. 

“Yeah, it's my dad's. He's a contractor. Same with the shoes and the shirt. But, I swear, he's the one who cut off the sleeves, not me,” he said. 

“Yeah, right,” I said. 

“Don’t want to hide these guns,” he said, flexing his gangly arms and clenching his teeth. 

“Whoa, put those away,” I joked.

“Do you want to go sit down?” he asked, motioning towards a stack of hay bales. 

“Please. My feet are killing me in these heels,” I said and followed him to the other side of the barn. 

I kicked off my shoes and lifted myself up on the hay bale. Finn removed the yellow hard hat and half-reclined on one elbow. 

He stared at me for a moment before shifting his weight and sitting up straight. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small flask. “Want a sip?” he offered. 

I accepted the flask and nodded as I took a small sip. It was syrupy-sweet and burned as it trickled down my throat. 

“Raspberry vodka,” he explained sheepishly. “It's pretty much the only thing my parents won't notice if the level changes at all. It's way back in the cabinet under the sink. They haven't used it in years.”

“It's not that bad,” I said, handing the flask back to him. He took a large swig and inched closer to me as he shifted the flask from one hand to the other. He leaned in close enough for me to smell the sharpness of the vodka on his breath. I swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. His pupils were dilated. He inhaled deeply. 

“Oh,” I said. “I meant to ask you. I saw it somewhere online, but there was this list of movies that use magical realism and, of course, Amelie was on there. But, did you ever see The Lobster…”

Finn had stopped paying attention to what I was saying and was looking over my shoulder. 

“What?” I asked, turning around just in time to see a folding table flip over and spill paper cups and seltzer cans across the barn floor.  A few feet away two guys wrestled in a puddle of soda. One of them, the bigger of the two, I'd never seen before. But the smaller guy with the facial piercings looked familiar. 

“Jackson!” Finn yelled and jumped off the hay bale. He ran in their direction, slipping and nearly falling. He managed to steady his footing long enough to get in between Jackson and the guy who had him in a headlock. A half dozen other guys wearing jeans and matching sports jerseys had joined him and were attempting to pull the two apart. Finn grabbed Jackson under the arms and yanked him backward while Jackson continued to swing his arms. The bigger guy stood up and adjusted his shirt collar which had been stretched down over one shoulder. “Little piece of shit!” he shouted at Jackson, wiping his mouth. He appeared to be unharmed, his jersey having taken the brunt of the fight.

Jackson looked far worse. Blood trickled from his nose onto a shirt that appeared to be the top to a set of scrubs, giving his costume an eerie authenticity. One of his eyes had already begun to swell. Finn and another guy struggled to lift him to his feet, but his legs hung loosely as his head rolled backward. 

I slid down off the hay bale and grabbed my shoes. Jackie and Liz rushed to my side. 

“What the hell happened?” I asked. 

Jackie rolled her eyes. “It was sooo stupid. That guy Jackson was totally drunk and started throwing ice cubes at Andy’s brother's friends. Testosterone trumps rational thought. So, of course, that meathead starts pummeling him.” I could tell from Jackie's exaggerated hand gestures and sleepy eyes that she'd had more to drink since we last talked. 

“Do you think he's going to be okay?” I asked, looking in their direction. A group had gathered around Jackson.  A topless Andy was handing Finn a towel. Somewhere in the commotion, he’d lost his coconuts.

“I'm sure he'll be fine. But, he is not going to feel good tomorrow,” said Jackie. “Like a hangover isn't bad enough. Now he'll probably have two black eyes.”

I watched Finn lift the blood-stained towel from Jackson's nose. Blood continued to flow along either side of his mouth. My stomach turned. “Do you think I should go get help or something?” I asked. 

“I think they've got enough people,” answered Liz. “Crowding them would just make things worse.”

We watched as Jackson sneezed, spraying blood on himself and the barn floor. The onlookers let out a collective groan. 

My stomach lurched. The raspberry vodka wasn’t sitting well. I steadied myself on Liz's arm. We watched as Finn and his friends tripped over themselves in an attempt to drag Jackson outdoors. At this point, I was hoping that the party would come to a screeching halt so I could trade the too-tight belt and heels for a pair of sweatpants and crash on Liz's air mattress. But, the lights dimmed and Jessica’s music crackled to life once again. Apparently, old-school hip-hop was the perfect soundtrack for wiping up blood and spilled soda. 

“So when do we want to get out of here?” I asked hopefully. 

“It's not ending because of those assholes,” Jackie asserted, slurring slightly. 

“I know, but aren't you guys kind of...over this?” I asked. 

Liz shrugged non-committedly and looked around. 

“Where do you want to go?” Jackie said, sounding annoyed. 

“I don't know,” I said. “Back to Liz's and watch a movie or something?”

Jackie rolled her eyes. 

“What?” I said. 

“I knew this would happen,” Jackie muttered. 

“Knew what would happen?” I asked. 

“Didn't I tell you?” Jackie said, grabbing Liz's shoulder. 

“Jackie, you should have some water,” Liz said calmly, steadying Jackie by the elbow. 

“Didn't I tell you she would ruin this night?”

I stiffened as the fuzziness in my head cleared a bit. Jackie wasn’t annoyed at the drunk guys or the fight. She was annoyed at me. 

“And I told you to quit being such a bitch,” Liz snapped.

“I can't do this anymore,” Jackie said and faced me. “You know what you are, Charlie?” I could tell by her eyes that, even though she was drunk, she knew what she was saying. 

I didn't know how to answer. 

“You're boring.”

I stepped back a little. 

“You're not fun. You're like, perfectly content with living the same life you had when we were 12.”

She'd removed her little white gloves and had them crumpled in each of her fists. 

“You're stuck... You're stuck… in your house with your grandmother. If you’re not careful you’re going to get left behind and become a total townie.”

“Jackie!” Liz scolded. 

I stepped back as if I’d been slapped. “Townies” were the girls who worked at Dino’s or the grocery store after graduation instead of going to college. Or they were lifelong bartenders in the next town over. Jackie had no respect for anyone who was willing to stay here any longer than they had to. It was probably the worst thing she could think of to call me. 

“I can't sit with you at Scones another fucking Friday night,” she hissed.

“Jackie, that's enough,” Liz said, grabbing her to pull her away. Jackie shook her off. 

“I didn't tell you about Jared, because I didn't want to go through this whole thing with you where I'm the big slut and you're the judgmental virgin.”

I could feel my face flush violently and looked around to see who was in earshot. 

“I wasn't...judging you,” I managed to sputter. 

“Yes, you were. And you are. And it makes you not fun,” she said sharply. “You're not fun anymore.” 

I could feel my throat seizing up and tried my best to swallow. 

“I'm not fun because I don't like stupid football games?” I yelled, trying to sound angry, but my voice cracked. It was a pathetic attempt to strike back. 

Jackie just sighed and shook her head. “I really tried,” she said calmly. For a moment, I thought she would start crying, but the emotion quickly drained from her face. “I tried to keep being your friend… because I felt bad for you,” she said. 

“I don't need you to feel bad for me, Jackie,” The tears I’d tried to blink away finally started to run down my face. I felt both shame and relief. 

“I know,” she said. “It's not fair to either one of us.” 

“Why are you acting like this?”

She started to say something and then stopped herself. She picked up her purse from where it had fallen and began walking to the end of the barn where Jared and his friends had gathered. 

I stood there stunned while the party continued around me. The people who had stopped what they were doing to watch us had moved on and reengaged in their own conversations. Other people danced or went outside for fresh air. 

“What just happened?” I asked Liz. 

“Let's get out of here,” Liz said, pulling off of her wedge cap and finally stepping out of her shoes. “Jackie can figure out her own ride home.”

I let Liz drag me through the barn and to her car. I kept my head down but looked up just long enough to lock eyes with Andy. He stood motionless by the door holding a stack of plastic cups. He wrinkled his forehead and gave me a look of sympathy, but we hurried away before he could say anything. I cried silently on the short drive back to Liz’s house. 

“Do you think that, too?” I asked as we turned into her driveway. 

“Do I think what?”

“What Jackie said. That I'm stuck. That I'm ...not fun.”

“No, stop it. I don't think that.” She turned off the ignition and rubbed at her eyes. My own eyes burned and my head was pounding.

“Why did she...” my voice shook, and I could feel my throat closing again. “I just don't get it,” I said. 

“Let's just go inside. We can talk about it tomorrow,” Liz replied. 

Upstairs, I dug through my backpack for my toiletry bag and pajamas and made my way to the bathroom. I changed clothes and stared at the discarded pieces of my costume. They’d fallen in a sad, wrinkled pile on the floor. But the face in the mirror was worse. Gone was the polished pin-up girl, and in her place stood a blotchy mess. All the crying had made my mascara run and my eyes swell. My hair had returned to its naturally frizzy state, and a colossal zit was beginning to rise in the center of my left cheek. 

I padded back down the hallway towards Liz's room, praying that I wouldn't wake up Mrs. Farmer and have to try to pretend I hadn't been crying. I got to Liz's room safely to find her sprawled diagonally across her bed, sound asleep. 

I checked my phone, allowing myself to hope that I'd find a text from Jackie. Something like, “Can't believe I did that. Really sorry.” Or “I was drunk. Didn't mean what I said.” It wasn’t a good excuse, but I knew I'd accept it from Jackie. Otherwise, I’d have to accept that she meant what she said enough to stand by it.

I had no unread texts. The air mattress squeaked beneath me as I curled myself into a ball. Liz snored lightly, and I thought about waking her so she could talk to me. But, the last thing I needed was for her to be mad at me, too.  I closed my eyes and tried to match my breathing to hers.

moledyverses

A post shared by @moledyverses

The Strikes — @MoledyVerses

It's a game I don't pretend to know.

But the strikes, I get.

Just three

they're from you 

against me. 

It took two for me to know 

that we'd started something that would ever end

and by the third

I understood what I was losing 

was a friend. 

I might be ok. I think I might be better.

I wouldn't suffer 

this defeat

if your winning weren't so sweet. 

If after all the songs and then the parade

the smiles, the pictures and the speeches made

you'd turn around and let them hear you say

“That was a tough win today.”