32 hours for work, 56 hours for rest, 180 hours for what you will

*chanting* FOUR-DAY WORKWEEK! FOUR-DAY WORKWEEK!

The tantalizing dream of a four-day workweek could be “finally within our grasp,” according to the New York Times.

In Iceland, if you’ll recall, the majority of the workforce has either moved or or gained the right to move to shorter working hours — large-scale trials showed that workers were less stressed and sometimes even increased their productivity after cutting their hours but keeping the same pay. Elsewhere, individual companies like Kickstarter and Shake Shack have experimented or plan to experiment with four-day workweeks, the Times reports.

I slide into someone's DMs every now and then, but never with the intention to cheat

Dear Fuck-Up,

I have been in a committed relationship for a little over a year now, and I am fairly confident that I will be with this person for the long haul. However, I still find myself occasionally wanting to engage in harmless (?) flirting with other people, usually in the form of DM-sliding and Snapchat-sending.

How could anyone beat her? I don’t know because I only watch her parts

Due to a weeks-long tour de force of LGBTQIA+ allyship on my part, Jojo Siwa is now the most famous woman on earth, and your friends and your mother regularly report her comings and goings to you. Which is why you already know that she came in second place on the 30th season finale of Dancing with the Stars last night. Brooklyn Net Iman Shumpert won.

Did Shumpert deserve the mirrorball trophy? I don’t know, since my smash hit Gawker series ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Review: Only Jojo Siwa’s Parts: A Series only requires me to watch Jojo Siwa’s parts of the dance competition. It’s not for me to know if Iman is a better dancer, or if Jojo deserves the hand of Iman’s wife and the mother of his children Teyana Taylor more than he does. That’s not what the spirit of DWTSR:OJSP:AS is all about.

Let’s dive into the specifics of this episode with the same kind of resilience and stage-smiling in the face of physical hardship that Jojo brings to the show every single week.

Just say “proudly”

Lately, I have noticed that everyone is unapologetically something these days: unapologetically bold, unapologetically loud, and most of all unapologetically me/you/themselves. Acapulco is unapologetically flamboyant. Texas Tech basketball is unapologetically competitive. Anime series (or at least 10 of them) are unapologetically anime. Saying sorry is OUT; impenitence is IN. And I must confess, I’m finding it unapologetically corny.

I don’t mind the continued use of “unapologetic” to mean “not apologetic,” plain and simple. That’s just how the word works; if you say, “so-and-so was unapologetic,” I get it, no gripe here. I’ll also extend this grace to “unapologetically” as an adverb immediately preceding a state of being that is widely agreed to be bad, e.g., “unapologetically transphobic” — I think many people would concur that being a transphobe is not good, and thus the use of the word “unapologetically” here draws attention to how strange and frankly rude it is that the allegedly transphobic person is not apologizing for their transgression of being a bigot.

"Captain Snowmerica?" What are you in third grade...okay yes but still

Vermont should probably check the fluoride they’re putting in the water, because something fucked up is happening to the kids there. Last Wednesday, the Green Mountain state held one of its biggest holidays: “Vermont Plow Day.” It’s a celebration perhaps second only in importance to “Bennington Battle Day,” which is probably about Donna Tartt.

Not much goes down on VTP-Day, save for a social media campaign encouraging residents to take pictures with plows and use the hashtag #VTPlowDay. But as part of the festivities, Vermont school children were given the opportunity to name 163 plows across the state thanks to a new program with the Agency of Transportation. This seems like a cool way to get some plows named things like “The Plownisher,” but these babies have the minds of a LinkedIn marketing team.