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Welcome to the 54th edition
Another week, another newsletter! I hope that you all had a great one 🤩
Last week I told you about the beginning of a new chapter in my life… This week I’m ready to share the news. My wife and I have decided to separate.
We have shared everything together for the past 17 years and have brought three wonderful kids into this world. Over the years, we’ve been happy and sad, joyful and down. We had great moments together. We also went through really tough times and lost many people we loved along the way (fuck cancer). But we’ve always kept going. We’ve grown together, built a nest for our family. We share a gazillion memories, and I will always cherish those.
Life-changing decisions like this are incredibly hard and painful to take. No matter how confident we are about the reasons and rationale, emotions run so wild that it’s hard to think rationally. It’s really easy to feel bad, think we’re being “bad” persons, think we’re making a mistake, etc. Part of the challenge is to filter through the noise, remain rational, and face reality as it is, no matter how heartbreaking it may be.
We all grow. Our aspirations change, our hopes and dreams evolve, our needs morph, and what was true yesterday might not be tomorrow. It’s all right. There’s no right or wrong way to grow.
Loss aversion makes things even more complicated. We know what we’re about to lose, but not what we’re getting into. The unknown is always scary at first…
In long-term relationships, the sunk-cost fallacy also weighs in the balance. We’ve invested so much in the relationship over the years, that we can easily convince ourselves that, if we invested just a bit more, tried again, things might change and get better. But our time on earth is limited, no matter what. It’s not always worth it to keep trying. Just like it wasn’t worth it for me to keep trying to make my previous startup succeed. Maybe it could have, maybe not.
Life is a complicated mess, and nothing is black and white. Many of us carry childhood wounds and unconsciously keep suffering because of those. Those wounds impact the way we think, the way we act, the way we live. It takes a lifetime to figure out who we really are, who we want to be, what we really want out of life, to discover our limits, and acknowledge those.
As you can imagine, the coming months are going to be a real emotional rollercoaster. Everything that I’m used to is about to change. I’ve actually never lived alone. Old fears of mine about loneliness are bound to resurface. I’ll need to face and fight those.
I believe that keeping at least some stability is important for my sanity, which is why I’ll do my best to keep my journaling habit and my weekly publishing schedule. Although I don’t want to make hard promises at this point. I’ll see how things go.
There are still tons of things that I need to figure out, and my support system is pretty fragile (being a lifelong introvert doesn’t help in such situations 😂). I’ll take things one day at a time…
For now, all that really matters to me is to take care of my kids. I want to make sure they go through this with the least possible amount of pain, help them find a new equilibrium, and move on.
I want to believe in abundance and hope that the future will be full of wonderful surprises. Life goes on. ❤️
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