She Dares To Say - #16: Authenticity Arena – No. 03
This content is free, but it takes time to create and upload each piece. If you enjoy this project would like to support it, please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’. If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to send a contribution via PayPal. You can also show your enjoyment without spending £££, by liking, commenting or sharing 😃 [Image description: Text ‘Authenticity Arena No. 01’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke highlighted segment] Almaz note: Please do listen to the audio extract, while simultaneously following the text transcription, as it makes for a richer experience. The audio recording (above) and transcript (below) represent seven-ish minutes from the middle of an hour-long chat I had with ‘D’, who’s a queer, Tamil, non-binary femme, who, at the time of interview in August 2021 was 27, partnered, and living in London. Almaz – 20:52mins ‘D’ – 21:19mins At 12 or 13, I found a Judy Blume book at my aunt’s house. It must have belonged to my cousins or something, and just flicking through it someone talked about touching themselves in their, like, magic place down there. Judy Blume was like, “That’s called masturbation.” And I was like, “Oh my god!”. And that was like a mind-blowing moment. I was like, “Who is this random white woman”… Almaz – 22:06mins ‘D’ – 22:06mins Then, in Year 9, in geography lessons, I sat next to this girl called [REDACTED]. Are you like… you’re changing names. Almaz – 22:30mins ‘D’ – 22:31mins Almaz – 22:31mins ‘D’ – 22:38mins But we were sat next to each other in, like, the seating arrangement. And I remember we didn’t really talk, or bond, or anything for, like, a good, like, month. I just wasn’t very interested in, like, making new friends. And then, I don’t know how we got onto, like, touching ourselves. Maybe, like, you know, as Year 9s do you were sort of, like, pushing boundaries with each other, like, telling some secrets. Or maybe it was like, you know, “Do you fancy anyone?” Almaz – 23:19mins ‘D’ – 23:20mins Almaz – 23:29mins Almaz – 23:52mins And I was like “Wow!” And we, like, really bonded. But it was, like, a type of bond where, like, we would speak, like, so in-depth, in, like, every geography lesson, for, like, a whole year. But outside of geography, we never, like, acknowledged each other. You know? So, I dunno, that’s quite a pivotal moment, I think, because that’s the first time that I was, like… I externally expressed something that I do that was sexual, and it wasn’t met with, like, you know, telling off… Almaz – 24:34mins ‘D’ – 24:34mins Then, the first time as an adult, where I, like, kissed someone and got fingered [scoffs] was when I first went clubbing. I think it was, like, in the first 10 minutes [scoffs]. I was hammered at Watford Area. Almaz – 25:00mins ‘D’ – 25:01mins Almaz – 25:18mins ‘D’ – 25:19mins But I felt that that was the goal. That was, like, something I aspired to, right? Like, I… And maybe that Judy Blume book, and [REDACTED], and like people in the club who also did that, allowed me to not have any shame about it. And, I don’t know… it was like a badge of honor to be like, “Oh, I was, like, warned by a bouncer in Area, like, to stop, like, touching people’s penises.” Do you know what I mean? Almaz – 26:01mins ‘D’ – 26:05mins Almaz – 26:09mins In school, the school that I went to – or the groups of people that I engaged with in school – there was no shame around sexual behaviour. [CONVERSATION CONTINUES FOR ANOTHER 30 MINUTES] [Image description: White speech box with black border shadows. Black text ‘As part of my research for my book, I’m running an anonymous online sexuality survey’. Dark orange text ‘bit.ly/ao_sexsurvey’. Black text ‘Anyone over 18 can fill it in, wherever you are in the world.’ Picture of coloured rectangles placed at angles with black border shadows. White text ‘Do you have guilt or shame around desire, sex or pleasure? Why/why not? Do you support compulsory sex and relationships education?’ on top rectangle] [Image description: Text ‘POSTSCRIPT’ on a navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke] The ‘POSTSCRIPT’ segment for paid subscribers will drop on Wednesday 13 April. To receive this extra mailout, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription. [Image description: Text ‘PRODUCED BY’ on navy blue background with a lilac paintbrush stroke] Recent work: Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs. [Image description: Text ‘What we can all learn from polyamory? Challenging the cultural script around sex and relationships Sex Talks 05 Apri 13th, 6:30pm The London Edition’ on blurry image of a person’s face, with an orange border] Hosted at The London EDITION, 10 Berners Street, London W1T 3NP, this month’s Sex Talks session, hosted by presenter writer and founder of Her Hustle Emma-Louise Boynton, will unpick some of damaging cultural scripts around sex and relationships. Emma-Louise will be joined on stage by myself and Bronwyn Griffiths, aka ‘Fanny Minka’ of Sink the Pink, a queer polyamorous writer and performer and Nadine Noor Ahmad, aka ‘Nadine Artois’, DJ and co-founder of Pxssy Palace. 🥂 Tickets include a complimentary drink on arrival. She Dares To Say readers can get 20% off their ticket price by using the following discount code: ALMAZ20 Ticket link: eventbrite.co.uk/e/sex-talks-do-we-all-having-something-to-learn-from-polyamory-tickets If you enjoy this content and would like to support please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’. If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to also send a contribution via PayPal. You’re a free subscriber to She Dares To Say. For the full experience, become a paid subscriber. |
Key phrases
Older messages
#14: Authenticity Arena – No. 01
Friday, March 25, 2022
Listen now (8 min) | 'B', 32, queer, Greek (Caucasian), woman (cis), partnered, London
#15: Authenticity Arena – No. 02
Friday, March 25, 2022
Listen now | 'C', 31, gay, Mexican, non-binary, single, London
POSTSCRIPT: February 2022
Wednesday, February 9, 2022
Free special edition
Season 2 Announcement
Wednesday, January 19, 2022
In which I reveal a new format for this newsletter...
POSTSCRIPT: January 2022
Thursday, January 13, 2022
Free special edition
You Might Also Like
Your gift to poetry matched!
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Today only. Dear Friend, I have some exciting news: an Academy board member has pledged to match any gifts made TODAY only, up to $20000. Your special gift in support of all the Academy's programs
Preserving Process
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Sometimes someone else says it best ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
India's Sign-Wallas: On the Brush on the Subcontinent
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Meena Kadri takes us to India to appreciate the flamboyant work of the country's 'sign-wallas'. BLAG Magazine: Adventures in Sign Painting Craft, Community & Culture bl.ag online weekly
I’m Fine
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Is your story hindering or helping you? ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
No Pain, All Gain
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Physical activity can protect you from chronic pain, a GPS wearable lets you train like the pros and your weekly recommendations. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
DO Manifesto: A new, live, online course.
Thursday, April 25, 2024
100 places only. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
Falling into your ocean eyes
Thursday, April 25, 2024
But first: save $ — and earn rewards — on your prescriptions — Check out what we Skimm'd for you today April 25, 2024 Subscribe Read in browser Together with goodrx But first: save $ — and earn
"Epistle" by Ellen Hinsey
Thursday, April 25, 2024
When the sky darkens with alabaster and mahogany— Facebook Twitter Instagram Support Poem-a-Day April 25, 2024 Epistle Ellen Hinsey When the sky darkens with alabaster and mahogany —— Storm and
Kourtney Kardashian Wore The Ultimate 45th Birthday Bikini & WOW
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Vintage Dior, of course.
Should You Use 'Debt Avalanche' or 'Debt Snowball' to Pay Off Debt?
Wednesday, April 24, 2024
You Can Check a Car's VIN History for Free. These are two well-established methods that can help you systematically pay off your debts, but how do you decide which approach is right for your uni