Saying goodbye to the "deferred life plan"

All it took was a 4-day surf trip  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

pHey friend,

What a week. I'm coming off of a surf trip in Mexico and now on the road to take our girls to their first concert: Katy Perry's residency in Vegas. (You're gonna hear me roar.)

Today's essay looks at how I opted out of the Deferred Life Plan.

Does your to-do list need a refresh? Are you struggling to apply the principles from David Allen's GTD productivity system? Join us on June 14th as we deconstruct How to Get Things Done in 2022.

Separately,​ each of us longs not for fleeting pleasure or piecemeal success but for abiding happiness - yet could it be that modern, material civilization is making abiding happiness nearly impossible? Join Andrew Taggart and I on June 9th for a philsophical conversation on Liberation From Our Modern Purgatory. It's totally free.


Saying goodbye to the "deferred life plan"

I did something crazy this week.

I flew down to Mexico by myself for a 4 day surf trip.

No kids.

No wife.

Fish tacos every day.

A $90 a night hotel room with youth hostel vibes.

And tons of surfing.

Cerritos Beach in Mexico

Now here’s the crazy part. It’s only the second trip I’ve taken “for fun” since in my eldest was born.

Yes. I’ve only traveled by myself “for fun” one other time in eight years. (More on that later.)

So this was special. Here are some metrics from my trip, starting with fish tacos:

Next we have margaritas (volume low to preserve surf energy):

And this was a "working" vacation (focusing mostly on my $10K strategic thinking). And since I was sans kids, time felt like it literally stopped. Here's hours worked juxtaposed with hours surfed:

(The waves were actually too big – between six and eight feet which is outside of my skill set.)

And as I write this essay on the flight back, I was overwhelmed by deep gratitude. I said to myself:

“Damn, I’m no longer living the deferred life plan.”


Here are this week's top reads:

// one

Personal knowledge management is BS

5 minutes | Other Life

Personal Knowledge Management (aka PKM) is a relatively new term for “getting your digital life in order.” Yes, we’re overwhelmed by tasks, podcasts and digital scraps. But is digital hoarding really moving you towards your 10 year vision? Or is it just another example of bike-shedding.

Read the post

// two

Shame vs. guilt

4 minutes | Brené Brown

As a parent, I’m very conscientious about not “shaming” my kids (though I know it still happens). But what’s the difference between shame and guilt? Guilt is adaptive and helpful — it’s a measure of psychological discomfort with a decision we made - it allows us to highlight what we value. Shame, on the other hand, is an intensely painful feeling; when we feel shame, we feel unworthy.

Read the article

// three

The amazon way of writing

2 minutes | Network Capital

Instead of beginning meetings with powerpoint presentations, Amazon employees sit silently and read structured, six-page memos for 30 minutes to themselves. This is how Bezos ensures everyone is literally on the same page. Some coveted tips for writing these memos (that we could all use in our own writing)? Use less than 30 words per sentence, no fluff; keep it short and crisp, and replace adjectives with data.

Read the post

// four

20 things I've learned over the years as a systems (over) thinker

4 minutes | @johncutlefish

We all overthink things sometimes (ahem the perfectionism trap). These tips are gentle, supportive pieces of advice for those of us who tend to think through things and then think through them again (and then again). To start? Do your deepest thinking with co-conspirators (rather than those you’re trying to influence), remember to also do the job you were hired to do, make sure you’ve got a support network, and take care of yourself; your brain is working overtime.

Read the tweetstorm

// five

Google search is dying

5 minutes | DKB

What do you do if you’re researching your next big purchase? Chances are, you turn to Google. But how are you supposed to get a reliable answer if all results are either ads or SEO-optimized affiliate marketing? Here's a hint: start appending “reddit” to the end of your searches.

Read the post


ICYMI

  • Khe Hy's Work Style (3 minutes, Remotely Interesting) - A breakdown of my typical "9 to 5" with Marissa Goldberg.

LAST WEEK'S MOST READ

And finally, what's your unread email to tabs personality type? (I'm B5.)

With gratitude,

Khe

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