Longevity Minded - The Antidote To Regret: Fear Setting
This week, I ask you to carve out some time for a reflection practice called Fear Setting. This exercise has had a profound impact on my life as it has for thousands of others, and will for you too. Over the last two weeks, we discussed regret (Managing Regret For A Happy Life, Deathbed Decision Making) with the goal of living a fulfilling, exciting, and regret-free life. Learning about principles, strategies, and stories surrounding regret is a great place to start but lacks the most essential ingredient of all: action. Without action, ideas are worthless. This practice, which can be repeated monthly or quarterly, was created by Tim Ferriss to force the necessary but often uncomfortable actions required to live the life we desire. Conquering Fear = Defining Fear
Step 1: What are you putting off out of fear?Often, what we fear doing most is what we most need to do. The most important decisions you’re postponing probably fall into one of three buckets:
Think deeply about: 1) The person you want to be, and 2) The life you want to live. Do your current priorities (how you spend your time) align with your vision for these? If not, you’re putting off the critical actions that will get you there. Define what those actions are.
Step 2: Define your nightmare.Rather than fearing unknown outcomes, define them. What’s the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you defined in Step 1? Define the concerns, fears, and “what-ifs” that arise as you consider these actions. What is the likelihood they actually happen? If these horrible scenarios came true, what would be the impact on your life? Rank the impact on a scale of 1-10. Seven is not allowed – it’s a cop-out for comfortable mediocrity. Would their impact be permanent or irreversible? If yes, are you sure? Step 3: What steps could you take to repair the damage, even if temporarily?If the worst-case scenarios you defined in step two materialized, how could you fix and even get things going your way again? What steps would you take to get things back to how they were before? If you were fired today, what actions would you take to ensure you’re financially stable? Step 4: What are the outcomes or benefits, temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios?How would you benefit or your life improve as a result of the more likely outcomes? On a scale of 1-10, what would be the impact of those outcomes? Again, no sevens. Could you produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have less intelligent people pulled this off? Step 5: What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action?Steps two and four measured the cost of action, but it’s equally important to measure the cost of inaction. Most regrets are acts of omission – shots not taken, paths not wandered, and the unknown left unexplored. If you don’t pursue what excites and fulfills you, where will you be in one, five, and ten years?
Step 6: Why are you waiting?The notion of good timing is a myth we tell ourselves to delay the uncomfortable but critical actions we need to take. If you can’t answer this question without resorting to good timing or some other excuse, you’re afraid. Realize the consequences of inaction, the repairability and unlikely probability of your nightmare coming true, and develop the habit that those who excel live by: a bias for action.
And, as always, please give me feedback. What did you like or dislike? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know. Just respond to this email, leave a comment, or Tweet me @jackrossdixon. Have a wonderful tail end to your week. Much love, Jack P.S. Thanks to those who voted last week! As I love hearing your feedback, I’m going to start incorporating more polls and other ways to engage with you. If you liked this post from Longevity Minded, why not share it? DISCLAIMER: I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on the Internet. Speak with a medical professional before doing anything medical-related. |
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