Gawker - It was our birthday and you forgot

By Tarpley Hitt

Not that kind

There isn’t much time to smile over here at “girl Gawker plus one man” HQ. We work 80 hour weeks, typing into the early morning as Leah Finnegan, the “Sleigh Driver” we call her, stands above us screaming “mush.” When we’re lucky, she lets us have water. But between breaking ground on pressing concerns, we find time to enjoy the small things, meaning specifically the little words that show up near the headlines. For reference.

By Abdullah Shihipar

Cure your depression with this one simple trick

There’s an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. It affects the young and the old. It leads to a multitude of health problems, and it has been suggested to play a role in things like extremism and the rise of fascism. Loneliness is a human feeling that fluctuates. But admitting you’re lonely is a difficult thing to do. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you or to picture you as someone who spends their days at home stewing in sadness and resentment.

Lately, I’ve been feeling lonelier than I have in previous periods of the pandemic. When I feel the emptiness on some weekends, I take my bag and head out the door to my happy place, the grocery store. Sometimes I walk there early in the morning, sometimes in the late hours of the afternoon; sometimes it’s an Aldi, sometimes it’s a Stop and Shop but never a Whole Foods (I need my processed brands). On the 20-minute walk to the store I pass the leafy streets and colonial buildings of the east side of Providence and the Providence river that leads out to the sea. I get to experience the truly American definition of walkable — over highway overpasses and along damaged sidewalks, dodging litter and broken glass.

When I finally get to the store, the overhead fluorescent lights provide a comforting grounding presence. Walking the aisles, inspecting produce and comparing prices — these activities are all enough to occupy my mind and feel like I’ve accomplished something for the day. Continue reading

By Olivia Craighead

What happened to "release your anger?"

As an intelligent person who lives in the world, I am sure you have heard of the trolley problem. It’s one of the great philosophical conundrums of our time: Do you kill one person or many? Is there any moral decision? What if I told you that just today, I came across an even more challenging problem in real life: Do I listen to the leaked version of Beyoncé’s Renaissance or wait two days until it’s properly released?

The most fervent members of the Beyhive know their answer, and it is to absolutely never listen to a leak and report anyone who dares even mention it. In short, they have graduated from the academy and are now members of the BGKCPD (Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter Police Department).

Several Beyoncé stan accounts went out of their way to stay in mommy’s good graces, making sure everyone knew that Queen B and Parkwood, Beyoncé’s production company, would sue their ass into oblivion for even thinking of sharing a leak. Continue reading

By Allie Jones

They’re just doing circles around the Louvre

Mr. Ben Affleck and Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck touched down in Paris last Thursday to celebrate their honeymoon alongside four of their children. As we’ve seen, they’ve all been having an amazing, happy time. But it’s this Thursday now, and they have officially been in Paris too long. Just Jared reports that the gang headed to the Louvre today for a private tour. Fun! Except they’ve already been there at least twice.

The world-famous museum is just a brisk, 15-minute walk down the Rue de Rivoli from the Hotel de Crillon, where they’ve been staying and in some cases smoking out the window. Since they arrived last week, Ben and Jen have made this pilgrimage several times in several different sponsored Reformation outfits. They walked around the Louvre on Sunday, J.Lo’s birthday, wearing a red dress and a blue button-down shirt. And then they did it again on Monday, wearing a blue dress and a blue button-down shirt. And then they visited again on Tuesday, wearing a blue patterned sweater and a gray t-shirt.

They may not want to admit it, but they are getting tired. And bored. Why not hop a flight to Rome and walk around the Colosseum six times? Or jet over to London and go back and forth across the Tower Bridge? Continue reading

By Kelly Conaboy

Inspiring words from an inspiring goop

The children of Hollywood nepotism — our Jack Quaids, our Sofia Coppolas — who will speak for them? Their parents and grandparents yes, but who else? For too long they have suffered without a leader; a clear voice to guide and inspire them. Someone to say, “hello babies, I am your mama.” That changed today when one brave woman, indeed a child of nepotism herself, chatted with Hailey Bieber, indeed a child of nepotism herself, for an episode of Bieber’s YouTube series, Who’s in My Bathroom? That brave woman (yes we are moving on from Who’s in My Bathroom? without acknowledging it) is: Gwyneth Paltrow.

“As the child of someone, you get access other people don’t have, so the playing field is not level in that way,” Paltrow said. True facts, mama. “However,” — uh huh, yes, do go on — “I really do feel that once your foot is in the door, which you unfairly got in, then you almost have to work twice as hard and be twice as good.” Continue reading