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If you’re a habitual reader of fan fiction, you might understand this feeling. Sometimes, a fic is so compelling that you can’t help but read another chapter, even though what you should really be doing is sleeping. There’s something so addicting, and, indeed, so comforting, about fics like these that you might have to go back and read the first 50,000 words again when a new chapter arrives on AO3, just to be sure you haven’t missed anything.

I’m not above this instinct myself. In fact, that’s exactly what happened when a new chapter of a SuperCorp fic (the pairing of Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor from Supergirl) arrived recently. My desire to (re)-read all 78,000 words of the fic – entitled i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself) – got me thinking. The fic in question falls into the hurt/comfort genre, a popular category on the volunteer-run, non-profit fan fiction site Archive Of Our Own (AO3). The precise style of these fics varies, but they all have a similar premise in common: one character is hurt (either physically or emotionally), and another character comforts them. The nature of this relationship is often romantic, but it can also be platonic, depending on the author’s interpretation of the characters.

I’ve always been fascinated by the popularity of the genre within fan fiction, especially within fan fiction of the sapphic variety. Some of these fics involve dark subjects like PTSD and unresolved trauma, and yet readers are willing to see their favorite characters struggle as long as there is the promise of comfort on the horizon. Perhaps the answer to why such fics are popular is obvious, but I decided to investigate further.

Instead of making wild suppositions of my own, I thought I would talk to an expert. I reached out to fanfic author coffeeshib, who wrote the SuperCorp fic I mentioned above. I was interested to hear from her about why she was drawn to the hurt/comfort genre and the responses she’s received from readers about her work. I also spoke with her about the particular connection lesbian and sapphic readers have to the genre. Check out our conversation below. I hope it brings you comfort…

How long have you been writing fanfic? What initially inspired you to start?

I began writing fanfic in 2019, so I’ve been writing for about four years now.

Two main things that inspired me to start writing:

1. I got really into the fandom Supergirl, caught up to the story, and wanted more. The canon source material was severely lacking, and as a wlw shipper, it was double the disappointment. I had so many ideas and scenarios stuck in my head for a long time until I said “yes, okay, let’s give writing a try!”.

1. Out of spite, motivated by “perhaps I can do better?” and wanted to fulfill what canon didn’t provide. I ended up discovering that I immensely enjoy writing, and writing these characters in different settings with different conflicts and them finding happiness at the end.

Writing fanfic has taught me a lot, and I will probably keep writing for a long time. It’s become an important part of my life.

What draws you to write within the hurt/comfort genre specifically?

Oh hurt/comfort, my fav genre. As a writer I'm very into exploring canon trauma that canon refuses to address (or, they make a passing mention of it and then won’t elaborate, placing the character in an awkward spot and stifling their growth/development.)

I struggle to find media that really taps on the human condition and feelings as a main focus point unless it’s in fanfiction. I’ll often see a character go through an extreme event, have a couple of crying scenes, and then that’s a wrap. Their issues won’t be brought up again, it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t feel real.

The depth of damage from an event or trauma is often poorly written or handled, and left criminally unexplored (looking at you, CW Supergirl). The characters - Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor are a great example of character neglect.

Writing hurt/comfort allows me to give depth to the characters. I greatly enjoy writing about the vulnerability and openness of the characters, digging in deep on human experiences and feelings, furthering the connection between them.

Why do you think readers are drawn to this genre? (Speaking from personal experience as a reader and/or from feedback you get about your own work.)

One of the best parts of hurt/comfort is seeing these characters feeling pain and learning how to heal. It’s seeing them be emotionally vulnerable and soft around certain people or person, and bringing these characters closer together little by little.

Those types of experiences are something that we as humans can all relate to in some capacity and I think that’s why readers (including me) are drawn to this genre. It brings me tremendous joy to see the different ways in which characters show they care about and help each other.

Hurt/comfort is a character study of sorts - it’s digging in deep and exploring a side to the characters not shown in source material. We get an insight into the character’s personality by placing them in difficult and painful situations.

I love reading and writing about my favourite characters being loved and taken care of (especially when they're at their worst). It’s like a bowl of soup on a cold day! The way I see “hurt” in hurt/comfort is not the character suffering in order to “earn” comfort. They are going through hurt so we as readers hurt. When the character is comforted, we in turn are comforted.

I've had some lovely readers tell me that my writing brings them joy and comfort, that they hope to experience or find the kind of love Kara and Lena have in my stories. As a reader, I completely understand the sentiment. As a writer, it really makes me happy to know that I'm able to evoke such emotions from them.

When you’re writing about topics like trauma and PTSD – like you do in the “i’m spilling all my words fic” – how do you approach that? Is it just character-based or do you do other research?

It’s a mixture of character-based, research (speaking to other people I know who have it), and personal experience.

Kara Zor-El, the main character of the fic, has a long history of trauma, survivor's guilt, and abandonment. Her struggles and losses don't define her, they are just a part of her. These things cut deep and leave permanent scars. She’s both a tragic victim and a trauma survivor. There are times when she feels broken and weak and times when she feels strong and resilient.

One aspect of trauma is how long-lasting it is. There are so many facets to trauma, it creeps into every aspect of a person’s life. It has no timeline or schedule. Even if someone no longer consciously thinks about the event(s), it still shows up in small ways.

Something I always keep in mind as I write about these topics is integrating the trauma with the character’s personality traits. These heavy topics require thoughtfulness, utmost effort, and very careful handling, and I really try my best to make the writing believable/organic!

There isn’t exactly a clear formula to portray trauma and PTSD effectively. Trauma affects everyone very differently.

What’s the most meaningful feedback you’ve gotten about your fics?

I love all comments, even the keysmashes that go “asdhajsdhjsdjsdhj”, but the ones that touch me the most are ones that remark on how my stories helped the person get through a difficult time in their life.

Discovering that someone connects to the story or character’s actions and emotions. Relating, coping, or feeling cathartic and hopeful when reading my fics. How it touched them and how they feel seen because they can relate. All of those comments are very meaningful to me, because plenty of stories have helped me in the same way in the past. It’s such a wild feeling, to know that I can do that to others with my writing, too.

There is one particular recent comment I received - an ask from Tumblr, really, that I think about often and gets me a little choked up. They talked about the way I wrote emotion, how it’s something they mentioned that makes one stop and say to themselves “that’s exactly how I feel, someone finally gets it” and it’s like a sense of relief. It was a long, heartfelt feedback, and at the near end of it they suggested that I go back and reread one of my works, act like I didn’t write it, and think about how good that piece of work is.

Now, I’m not usually one to reread my own writing because rereading usually makes me grimace and want to erase everything, but the part where I should “act like I didn’t write it” changed my perspective. It’s like, hey, my writing isn’t actually that bad or shallow, my self-critical habits just get in the way of allowing me to feel satisfied with the way I write!

The commenter was so sweet, they really took the time to send such kind words to me. I’ll always be very thankful to them. Actually, I’m super thankful to anyone who writes me anything, but that person who sent me that Tumblr ask in particular - hey, I think about you often!

On a slightly unrelated note, I also think about several specific comments - people telling me how I dared to inflict that much pain and heartache on them. They were so engaged with the story that they either stayed up late or didn’t put their phones down until they read the whole fic. I am left feeling ridiculously gratified each time a reader lets me know that. It puts a little smile on my face, like a mission accomplished!

Do you think sapphic or queer readers/writers have a unique or special connection to hurt/comfort, or do you think it's similarly prevalent in all types of fic? (I’m not asking for statistics obviously, just the sense you get from having spent time on AO3.)

Absolutely.

There’s a uniquely isolating aspect to being sapphic or queer. Good sapphic representation in media is scarce for us, and because of that, we turn to fanfiction. We turn to fanfics because we can’t just turn on a random tv show and see a relationship that looks like ours. Almost every wlw couple in a movie or tv show either ends up with them breaking up or one of them dying.

Personally, I feel a dissonance with a lot of wlw media and I think it’s mostly due to bad writing. It’s hard to find a show that really takes on the lesbian or queer experience, to depict loving women in a way that’s healing and positive and beautiful without them ending up separated in the end.

But back to the topic at hand, I do believe we have a unique or special connection to the genre hurt/comfort due to our lonely and isolating experience in the real world. There’s not a lot of content and relatability going on for us. We tend to experience hurt more than comfort. There aren't many places where we can turn to for comfort.

As a reader, I’ve reached a point where I read wlw hurt/comfort fics from fandoms I know little about just to feel something, haha! I'd watch a couple of clips or look at gifs of the pair, get the general gist, and then read.

On the writing side, I’ve actually had readers come to me, tell me that they read Supercorp fics even though they’ve never watched a single episode of Supergirl. They stay away from the show and would come to learn the gist of Kara and Lena’s dynamic through youtube scenes and gifs. It was very amusing to see that this is a shared experience between sapphics/queers. It goes to show how starved we are of content, that there’s a serious problem with wlw media rep, and how most fulfilling and loving and healthy wlw relationships can be found in fanfics (and published books, too!).